I've just spoken to someone I considered to be a very good friend for the first time since I quit and was horrified by the reaction I got to my, what I think of as, brilliant news.
I'd not told anyone I was planning to quit this time, because I didn't want the constant have you quit yet? how's it going? how are you coping? bombardment I got last time. That made me feel like I was doing it for everyone else and not for me.
I've just told people I've not had a cigarette for x amount of days when I've been offered one or asked to go on a cig break. However, the friend (who is a smoker) I've just spoken to asked what's been going on since we last spoke and I told him I'd quit smoking for almost two weeks. The converstation went like this from that point:
Me: "Because I don't want to die a horrible agonising death while those I love have to watch helplessly and I want to spend my money on something worthwhile rather than a dried out weed soaked in chemicals and wrapped up in some paper with a bit of sponge shoved in the end of it.
I'm feeling pretty good about it and this time I really feel like this is it. I've changed my attitude towards it this time (I met him as a new friend during my last six-month quit). I am not thinking 'you can not have a cigarette under any circumstances', rather I am thinking 'nobody is stopping you from smoking, but, really, do you actually want one? no you don't.' It makes it feel less of a chore and more like a free choice I have made and it really is going very well this time."
Him: "Well, I just don't see the point of you quitting. You don't have any kids, so if you live longer, you'll be dying alone anyway. I'd rather die earlier than alone."
Me: "Do you realise how mental that sounds?"
Him: "I love smoking and I don't get why people quit. I spend loads of times working at home alone and I know I'd get bored silly if I didn't smoke."
Me: "I'm not trying to force you to quit, it's your life and your body, it's entirely up to you what you do with it, but how can you say it relieves bordem when you are doing a repetitive action while smoking. Maybe it's not bordem relief but just a reason to have a break from work. I've just been walking round the garden pulling up the odd weed here and there to get away from the computer instead."
Him: "But I still can't understand why you've quit. I love everything about it, the taste, the smell, the comfort."
Me: "I'm sorry, but I don't. In fact, I can honestly say I hate everything about it now. Like I said, I'm not trying to force you to quit, you can do whatever you want with your life. Just telling you that's my big news at the moment."
Him: "I can see us falling out over this. I liked being around you because you were a smoker like me."
Me: "WTF? You mean you aren't my friend because you like being with me?"
Him: "Well yes, I like being with you, but I don't think I'll like you as much as a non-smoker."
I pretty much made my excuses and ended the conversation there. I couldn't believe it. I guess it was guilt or jeaslousy "don't leave me on the sinking ship alone". It upset me at first, but now I just pity him because the nicodemon has obviously got his claws in so deep that he is more important to him than real friends.
I'll leave it a while until I get in touch with him again, but man I wasn't expecting that!:confused: