Day 12 not a good day :-(

Well onto day 12 and really not feeling happy today, even feel really tearful if I’m honest – have fleeting thoughts of having a ciggie but not strong ones……

Am just sooo miserable and don’t know how to pick myself up. Everyone around me has been really supportive but I can’t even gather the enthusiasm to thank them – my hubby tells me daily how proud he is of me and how well he thinks I’m doing but I just snap at him as he annoys me.

Please tell me this gets better – I’m fed up of being miserable. Do you think it’s because I’m still getting nicotine from the patch?

Am taking Kalms but worried that I may need something stronger as have a tendency to suffer with depression at times.

Jane

16 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Come on Jane- YOU CAN DO THIS!!

    DONT let that horrid Nicodemon win, you are better and stronger than it.

    I didnt really get too many bad mood swings (so far, touch wood etc), but whenever i felt one coming on, i would just warn everyone around me. I would ask them to have patience, and apologise in advance if i was a bit tetchy, and explain why.

    Dont worry, they will forgive you.

    Ii know that quite a few people on here have had the mood swings though, and everyones quit is different.

    Nicodemon will tell you all sorts of things to try and get you smoking again, but recognise them for what they are- excuses.

    If you have some free time, why not get out some colouring pens and pencils/high lighters etc and some blank A4 paper and write little posters that you can stick on your walls/doors etc. Each poster could have a positive thing about giving up smoking and a negative thing about smoking written on it in bright colours.

    I did this for the first 2 weeks and found it really helped me as i would read them as i walked from the kitchen to the lounge/bathroom etc.

    OK, it looks silly, but WHO CARES, as long as it helps you!!

    How are you feeling now? If you would like to add me as a friend on here, feel free!

  • Hiya Jane - you are doing fab hun. The mood swings is something which alot can suffer with in the early days/weeks. I was OK until yesterday and then I had one hell of a tantrum - felt better after though :)

    As Claire said most people will understand.

    What about St Johns Wort? I have never tried it but I know a few on here who have tried it and swore by it during the early days of their quit. I don't know if you can take it or as I know some cant but may be worth looking into.

    Have some you time as well, perhaps a nice facial, manicure, long soak in the bath, wine, chocolates? Just treat yourself for your acheivement so far.

    Big pat on the back to you, you are doing really well. I hope you are felling better now x

    :)

  • Sorry to hear you're finding it tough Jane.

    I'm trying to stay away from stressful situations just now, that always makes me snap and be downright nasty when in the early days of quitting. It's easier said than done at times thou.

    It will undoubtedly get better, hang on in there. You're doing great so far.

  • Sorry it's feeling a bit tough Jane, is there something you can do to completely chill and relax, something different, take yourself into a room a listen to a relaxation cd or something like that, just 30 mins or so of completely you time deep breathing and shutting off. I know it sounds odd, cos I thought so too, but I tried a relaxation session I downloaded and it really did chill me out, and I made a point of doing it a couple of times a week in the early days. Sometimes it can all seem overwhelming and we have to try to take ourselves away from all those thoughts and feelings for a short while. Don't forget also that we do naturally get moody at times as well so it may not be all down to the quit.

    Deep breaths now, find something really positive and good to focus on, something to make you smile.

    You can do this, you are doing this, so keep going one day at a time.

    Lorraine :)

  • Thank you soooo much for the replies and encouragement, I just knew nobody else would understand like you guys!

    Am feeling a bit better, tried to throw myself more into work today which has helped a bit!

    Tink - I do have some St Johns Wort at home and thought about taking it but me & hubby are kind of trying for a baby (well not trying but not avoiding it IFKWIM) and I don;t think SJA is advisable, mind you nor is NRT!

    I think I'm being hard on myself too as I have lozenges as well but have only needed them at night and usually only 1 or 2 a day so I've been panicking as not wanting to use more than that which I know is stupid and it's what they are there for! So I'm going see wait and see if another big crave hits and pop a lozenge!

    I'm droppping my patch down a step Monday so the pharmacist did say I might need more lozenges then....

    Again, thanks so much lovely people, I WILL NOT SMOKE TODAY. :)

    Jane

  • Good to see things are looking up. Lots of us had rubbish mood swings at the outset. Much much later on, I learned to take some time out for myself. Whilst I smoked, I managed quick breaks away from busy family life by smoking. Once I quit, I stopped having those breaks and didn't replace them with anything else. Eventually, it made me depressed.

    I'd suggest you try to do one nice thing for yourself a day. On top of that, give yourself regular breaks throughout the day. I moved to decaf flavoured perculated coffee as my treat in the day. The double choc hazelnut is YUM!

    Fi x

  • Hi Jane well you have just made me shed a tear cause it reminds me of some point in my quit (can’t even remember when it was now) when I too felt down and didn’t know how to get back up but you will I promise, this quitting lark can be absolutely sh1t* but it is also the most amazing trip you will ever go on and this forum is the best vehicle you can climb on to get you there.

    Your OH has reason to be proud and so do all your family and I’m sure they will understand when you have them by the throat and have to be begged to let them go!!!! We have all been there and luckily not only do we survive but our OH s survive as well.

    Keep coming on the site and reading and posting and of course ranting because we are a group that can take it and will still come back and give you a hug and a shoulder to pat no matter what you throw at us x

  • Aww thanks again, what you said Fi really struck a cord about not taking any time out for myself like the odd 5 mins break I would get away from it all when I was smoking, I will try and have some time out!:)

    Jamangie - sorry if I sturred up some old emotions there :( it is good to know though that it gets better and there are people way further down the line that have gone through this and survived without alienating everyone around them!

    I also, rather stupidly, didn't tell all my colleagues at work that I've given up - they've noticed that I don't go out anymore so I just said I was cutting down and not smoking in the day - I guess it was as a security against the disappointing looks should I fail again, but I think I'm going to take the leap and tell them all that way they have been warned......:eek:

    Thanks again all,

    Jane

  • Hey Jane - seems you are feeling better which is good to know. Reference the colleague think, I know what you mean but I would let them know. I was like you was about telling them but TBF most of them apart from a couple of idiots have been very supportive. Even those that have never smoked take the time to ask how it is going and pat me on the back. It makes me feel a bit smug and gives me a little boost so go on let them know - you may find it really helps.

    One of them in particular marks down each day I have not smoked on her the calendar in her office - really sweet I thought. She says it will be a good visual for me if/when I find things tuff and start to question my quit.

    Have a good weekend and have some you time :)

  • Hey Jane, Your not alone in this. I'm feeling that same just like shit. Yes people are supportive my friends keeps saying how proud thy are and to keep thinking about a life without smoking, how bad smoking is, never smoke again ect. Smetimes I just want to scream "STOP TALKING ABOUT SMOKING!!!!" I also find it's amazing people who used to smoke forget how horrible this actually feels. They know it was that hardest thing they ever did but they can't remember how it feels.(I'm talking about friends family that quite 10, 15 years ago) The number one reason I know I'll make it this time is this forum. When I'm about to lose it I know as soon as I get to my computer someone who understands will be close by. I also love that you can just let your feeling out into the world without constantly complaining to people that don't understand. Sometimes just saying I FEEL ROTTEN is all it takes. So Jane I'm in this with you! This whole forum is in this with you!! Together we're going to kick the nicodemon's butt!!!!

  • Hi Benny,

    It sucks doesn't it! I wish I could feel proud and smug like I did for the 1st few days, but life throws crap at us whether we smoke or not, just moods are exagerated I suppose when we're quitting. My poor husband deserves a medal but I can tell he's starting to get narked by the way I'm being so that will be the next step - he'll start getting all arsey which will make me worse....

    ARGH.......I just want to lock myself away from the world until I feel happier - doing something that's so good for our health surely shouldn't feel this awful......

    Jane

  • Jane, I'm completely with you on that!!! I'm also worried how my insane mood swings effect those I love. I try to stop myself but my tone must make me sound like the biggest bitch. Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep for a month until the worst is over, but the way I see it the easier this is the easier it would be to smoke again. Just think when we get through this how many other things we can do!!!! For me my latest hurddle is I've been dreaming that I cheated and in the dream I'm making excuses as to why it's ok. I wake up almost tasteing the smoke in my mouth. I have to jump up and brush my teeth but it still bothers me for a few hours.

  • Hey Benny,

    I've had those dreams too, I swear I could taste the smoke :eek:

    I've decided I might give St Johns Wort a try to see if it helps with the mood, I'm reading loads of things about quitting etc but at the moment I'm not sure if it's helping or just making me think more about fags......who knows!

    You are right about it being a kind of good thing it being so hard, if I had found this easy I would definately have gone back to them by now but I am NEVER going through this again so will kick myself up the bottom and get on with it!

    Hope things lift for us both soon....

    Jane

  • Jane, I'm completely with you on that!!! I'm also worried how my insane mood swings effect those I love. I try to stop myself but my tone must make me sound like the biggest bitch. Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep for a month until the worst is over, but the way I see it the easier this is the easier it would be to smoke again. Just think when we get through this how many other things we can do!!!! For me my latest hurddle is I've been dreaming that I cheated and in the dream I'm making excuses as to why it's ok. I wake up almost tasteing the smoke in my mouth. I have to jump up and brush my teeth but it still bothers me for a few hours.

    Afternoon Benny, remember thinking about sleeping for a year when I'd first quit and then I read some of woofmangs tales and acknowledged that each and every crave or situation faced wouldn't happen again. Each day it gets easier and better, you may be coughing in your sleep and this may be why you are dreaming of cigs, made sense to me when someone pointed this out.

    Hey Benny,

    I've had those dreams too, I swear I could taste the smoke :eek:

    I've decided I might give St Johns Wort a try to see if it helps with the mood, I'm reading loads of things about quitting etc but at the moment I'm not sure if it's helping or just making me think more about fags......who knows!

    You are right about it being a kind of good thing it being so hard, if I had found this easy I would definately have gone back to them by now but I am NEVER going through this again so will kick myself up the bottom and get on with it!

    Hope things lift for us both soon....

    Jane

    Used SJW myself, also speak to Christine 42, as she was a firm advocate of good quality SJW.

    I've now been quit for 15 months and I believe I've remained quit because I've never wanted to do the early days again and knowing that if I ever have another fag I'll be right back at the beginning again. Everyone is different and good luck.

    M

  • Thanks for the advice. Question though what is SJW never heard of it?

  • St john's wort, Benny. A herbal mood lifter.