Ashamed,gutted,disappointed but hopeful?

Hi guys,

To cut a long story short, I am nearly in my fourth week of non-smoking. I had used patches but decided to go CT last week. On Friday i had a terrible day/evening (i wont go into details but lets just say it was the worst stress I had ever experienced) and yes mid tears and anger I went to buy a 10 pack. I smoked 5 on the Friday night and 5 throughout Saturday. No word of a lie, i didnt enjoy one of them, my gum started to bleed on day 2 of smoking and I was wheezing again. I was so fed up. :( On the brighter side...I was determined not to get back into it and threw the empty packet and the newly bought lighter away. I woke up on Sunday and didnt need a cigarette. I didnt have one and I also dont need one today. I am not wearing any patches or using any aids...so a few things I am wondering really...

1) Do I count this blip and am I now on day 2 instead of day 19/20 or whatever it was?

2) Me not needing to smoke now...do you think I had already overcome it on my three weeks? Its weird how I smoked ten in two days but just havent needed once since Saturday night? :confused:

Thanks x

11 Replies

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  • Hello there,

    A very common event; one I've been through myself. I counted mine as a blip with my thinking being (in the end) that if it wasn't a blip I'd be smoking again on a regular (daily basis). That isn't/wasn't the case. I just rolled back in to being a non smoker.

    If anything it helped me. I made me realise that I didn't need them like I thought I did. Lighting up didn't make me feel any less stressed. As long as you jump straight back on that wagon then I personally feel you're in a good place to continue on your merry way.

    In a way I think we have to learn how to quit and like most things learning takes time. Sort of like learning a musical instrument it doesn't just happen. You have to keep working at it; on occasions you'll make mistakes.

    I'd personally not suggest you'd 'got over it' as it were over your initial period of being a non smoker. I feel Alan Carr hits the nail on the head when he suggests that one learns to smoke in the first instance. Inhaling toxic fumes/gasses doesn't come naturally; one has to get used to it. By the time you have you're getting hooked on nicotine and so it goes on from there.

    In my view you've got over your nicotine addiction and in a way missed your old buddies. You've just learnt your old buddy what's who you remember them as being.

    Stav

  • What do you mean Tmb, how many days smokefree are you. What would you say if someone said how many days since you had a smoke? Is it so important, that 17/18 days will make a difference to your life. David.

  • There's a subtle difference between counting your quit and counting the days one has been smoke free.

    My view is not to restart your quit (doesn't mean you stopped because you had a glitch).

    However, yes you have smoked since your quit started so you've not been smoke free for that period.

    If I recall my blip was 6 weeks or so into my quit. I didn't stop quitting at that stage, I simply struggled to find my way.

  • I'm afraid I don't get the 'glitch' or 'hiccup' chain of thought.

    You smoked, therefore your smoke free days ended. In my book, that means you're back to day one - much akin to sliding down a snake in Snakes and Ladders. Doesn't mean you can't climb a ladder again though, does it? On previous quits, I've done it myself - and ultimately, the kid gloves and 'oh, it doesn't count, does it?' approach is really only fooling yourself.

    I'd go back to day one, but that's just me.

  • I'm afraid I don't get the 'glitch' or 'hiccup' chain of thought.

    You smoked, therefore your smoke free days ended. In my book, that means you're back to day one - much akin to sliding down a snake in Snakes and Ladders. Doesn't mean you can't climb a ladder again though, does it? On previous quits, I've done it myself - and ultimately, the kid gloves and 'oh, it doesn't count, does it?' approach is really only fooling yourself.

    I'd go back to day one, but that's just me.

    You may slide down a ladder but you're still in the game :)

    On this thought everybody who's on Champix hasn't started their quit yet. That's a chain of thought I don't agree with. No smoking days reset...yes. Quit days reset...well everybody's going to have their own opinion.

    Thankfully there're lots of supportive people on this forum who'll support TMB in whichever decision is made.

  • Hi TMB.

    About 6 weeks into this quit I gave in to a massive craving, bought some tobacco, smoked 4 rollups in one evening, had one rollup next morning and then put on a patch and got on with my quit. If, at that point, I had had to say to myself that I was back on day one I don't think I could have coped at all. I had been through hell those first few days and weeks. So saying to myself that it was just a blip and that I was still on day 44 or whatever helped me stay quit.

  • Hi trying my best ...

    Without sounding a stick in the mud I am not too good on advising here coz all my smoking errors turned into full blown smoking addiction again:o.......All i can say is your blip dosnt take you back to day 1 ..you have learned too much now & wouldnt relate to a day 1 quit...Your sound so positive & from how I can see..you seem to have come through into a better place.....6 weeks is amazing ....xx well done

  • Hi everyone, thanks for the advice and your views.

    Maybe I wasn't very clear to some of you. Today (if I had not have smoked on Friday evening) today would be day 21 of being smoke free. But after finishing the last cigarette of the packet I bought friday (which was Sat eve) I have only been smoke free again since Sunday morning (by the end of today I shall be nicotine free which is a good thing I suppose :) and also day 3)

    It was just so strange how I bought and smoked the cigarettes but it wasnt like I needed them at all, I chose to smoke them, didnt enjoy them, and its like the addiction is dead because I now am on day three this time CT and am not stressed or anything and dont have any cravings either. If anything I think it has shown me that I am so in control. Bearing in mind what happened over the weekend wasn't something small, it really was very bad yet I bought the cigs but didnt carry on and buy anymore.

    I have decided that I am not going to count the blip (i know its there and wont pretend it didnt happen) but I feel stronger than ever re the no smoking. So I will say I am on day 21 but did experience a blip which if anything helped me (not that i would recommend it of course!)

    xxx

  • Hi Trying .....this has always been a controversial subject as to whether you "should" start from day 1 again or not.

    I personally stopped smoking on the 10th april last year for 15 days and bought a packet of 10 and smoked them over the next 3 days ....I was sooooooo annoyed with myself I started again from day 1 and reminded myself of the event throughout this quit as a reminder for me not to do it again....but that was MY way of dealing with it .

    At the end of the day the most important thing is that you stick with it and whatever you feel is most helpful in maintaining YOUR own quit is what matters .....just dont do it again or we will come round and sort you out ! lol

    We are all human and not one of us in here is perfect so dont worry ;)

    You are still doing great !

    Trev x

    quit 364 days ago :D

  • Hi Trying .....this has always been a controversial subject as to whether you "should" start from day 1 again or not.

    I personally stopped smoking on the 10th april last year for 15 days and bought a packet of 10 and smoked them over the next 3 days ....I was sooooooo annoyed with myself I started again from day 1 and reminded myself of the event throughout this quit as a reminder for me not to do it again....but that was MY way of dealing with it .

    At the end of the day the most important thing is that you stick with it and whatever you feel is most helpful in maintaining YOUR own quit is what matters .....just dont do it again or we will come round and sort you out ! lol

    We are all human and not one of us in here is perfect so dont worry ;)

    You are still doing great !

    Trev x

    quit 364 days ago :D

    haha love it! "Do me in!" that will definately stop me from "blipping" again. On a serious note though, it was like an outer body experience, sounds stupid but I didnt benefit from it, didnt enjoy it, and just dont know why I did it-i got nothing at all out of it, it felt alien and I will not be doing it again. Day 3 CT today and havent felt better. Just been speaking to one of the solicitors at my place (she stops and starts every week bless her) she really is struggling with it. She told me not to go so hard on myself.

    So I am starting afresh but still classing myself as nearly my 4th week!

    Love this forum! Thanks peeps :D

    xx

  • Hi again Trying , stopping smoking is a learning curve to probably all of us and although we all employ different methods our ultimate goal is the same .

    Your solicitor friend is absolutely right with regard to you not being so hard on yourself....although her smoking habit is interesting lol.

    Chill out hun and just enjoy the benefits unfold as you remain smoke free , in time you will be amazed , just be patient and say Nooooooooo :D ....well to cigs anyway :p

    Trev

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