Cancer and emphysema in my family

Today I was told that my auntie has throat cancer and is having to go through chemo. My grandma has emphysema and struggles to breath but still keeps on smoking. As a smoker I knew about my grandma's condition but still kept on smoking even though I could see as clear as day what it could result in. I watched videos on youtube (usually as I was building up to a quit) showing women dying of lung cancer and still carried on smoking. It's amazing how blind addiction made me and I don't think it's just me. Smoking cuts down so many lives and ruins other people's lives but as an addict I didn't want to blame the weed, it was always something else. How could I have been so stupid to not realise that inhaling toxic carcinogenic fumes into my lungs can only lead to bad things? The ironic thing is that I still have urges to smoke. I don't have craves anymore, when I say urges I mean a passing idea that I could smoke. How stupid even to have urges. Most of the time I forget I ever smoked but...

Recently I was drinking and an acquaintance of mine was smoking. He only ever smokes when he's drinking he said. I asked him about whether he was worried that he'd start smoking daily again and he said no cos he's managed so far. I remember having urges that night because I started to believe that maybe I could only smoke when I drink too. Later on though he admitted to someone else that when he knows he's going to be drinking at the weekend he'll be looking forward to buying and smoking that pack of fags all week. At that point I gave up feeling jealous and thought ha! you're still addicted and did a little dance of glee (I'm nasty I know ;P but to be fair he's a nasty sort anyway).

I dunno whether there's any point in all this rambling. Maybe it's just stuff I wanted to get off my chest. I look forward to the rest of my life smoke-free and even though it's pretty easy now it's gonna get even easier. At Christmas I'm going to Scotland to spend it with my family. I think that'll be my most trying time since a lot of my family smokes. If I can make it through that then I will certainly never smoke again. Good luck everyone and hang on in there cos the easy times are coming :)

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  • Hmm so true Harley- and I'm sorry to hear about your gran:(

    Nicotine is classed as the number one addictive drug in the world (above heroin and crack) So it's kind of shocking that anyone can just buy this over the counter in a supermarket- get addicted to a deadly drug (probably in their teens) continue to live a drug addicted life and then die through an illness caused by addiction to a drug.

    Smokers are drug addicts, except that it's legal and easily available.

  • I agree with the smoking/drinking thing. I only really enjoy cigs with alcohol anyway and i wish i could do that. I've tried to just smoke with alcohol, but it always leads into having some in the morning, and wanting some then too. The cigarette just leads to a desire for another cigarette.

    I'm an addict so therefore can never have another puff

  • I agree with the smoking/drinking thing. I only really enjoy cigs with alcohol anyway.......

    No you don't - you just think you do.

    Beleive me, very soon you will realise that even alcohol is better without a smoke.

    The cigarette just leads to a desire for another cigarette.

    Thats the reason we are all here - if we never smoked to start with we would never have desired one.

    I'm an addict so therefore can never have another puff

    Me too ;)

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