My head is in a turmoil!!!!!

I want to say before I begin that I am truely sorry for this thread 'cos I'm feeling really down at the moment and this forum is full of positive people all trying to help each other. I hate to use it to moan and almost hope that nobody will read it.

I am exhausted! I am down and sad. If I had a cigarette right now I know that I would smoke it. I very nearly bought some today. My daughter is in bed and it would be a 15min walk to go and get some and she would be too sad if I did.

I don't feel as though I'm even making sense at the moment. I'm going to start at the begining and just rant in the hope that it will adventually make some sense to me at least.

When I started this, way back in Feb, nearly 7 weeks ago I honestly didn't know what I was letting myself in for. I still crave regullaly, I chew gum till I'm sick of it and not smoking feels like the only thing that I can think or talk about. I'm even boring myself now.

I've been reading some very good links that I've been given and I believe now that it's because I'm using NRT I'm struggling like this. It never seems to end and just keeps going on and on. I think I am going to have to try the CT way, I'm scared of that cos I know there's another rough 3 days if I do it that way but if I've been reading and understanding properly, the craves will end when I get the nicotine out of my body. I can't do it till Saturday 'cos I have to concentrate at work. I've got from Sat to Wed off work so I'm going to try then. Until then I suppose I'll just keep chewing and try my best.

So sorry for my big moan. I know we all find it tough but I just feel that I honestly don't want to smoke again but I can't take much more of this tiredness and constant thinking about not smoking.

I hope I havn't pulled any of you down by this and I never want to quit quitting but for heavens sake................... This has felt like over 6 weeks of torture.

By the way, my older daughter attended an Allen Carr cessation seminar and I know it was tough for her to go CT bUt I can see the difference between getting it over quickly and dragging it out as I have done.

Sorry, sorry sorry. I'm all out of energy and I'm stopping now for a big feel sorry for myself cry.

a very tired and sad Hopeful

17 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Come on U can do it

    Hey Hopeful, Been out for the evening and just read your post, so sorry u feel this way, I am still on patches and doing ok ish, not sure if u would feel better cold turkey..... You are just struggling a little at the moment, but we all have bad days.... It will defro be worth all the hard work..... Just keep really busy...... That is definately the trick.... Cos the days I dont do anything, I crave more!! B strong.. U will get there Kaz :p

  • I feel that I have tricked myself by using this bloody gum stuff. I wasn't brave enough to go cold turkey and I'm really pleased that I've come this far. I think I'm just very very tired of feeling like this. It's the comming out the other side that I can't wait for and I think that as long as I'm using NRT it feels as though it will just go on and on.

    Your right, face the fear. I wish I could start the CT tomorrow, cos the sooner I do I believe the sooner I will put an end to this constant nagging from my stupid addicted brain.

    I'm scared of doing it, just like I was scared of quitting with gum. I've managed that so maybe CT wont be as bad as I'm expecting. I it brings an end to this struggly sooner, then it will be worth it. I just hope and pray that I can do it

    Hopeful

  • Hi Hopeful, I know how you feel....we all do.

    Keep your thoughts positive & read anything you can find to help you.

    We've all had some really bad days , But, as the long term quitters say ...many more good ones are on the way :D

    Whatever you do DO NOT start again...I have :( after a month.. nowI feel terrible, much worse!!

    I have smoked today & hated every cigarette & unless I'm gonna smoke for the rest of my life I've got to start all over again tomorrow :(

    CHIN UP! It will get better :D

  • Hi Hopeful I so feel for you. When I quit begining of March I got to 15 days using NRT the quit nurse said i needed to use the inhaler every hour as I only used it when I thought I needed it and thats when it got worse.

    I really hope you can go CT as it sound as though that might be the way for you. Everyone is here for you hun X

  • Hiya Hopeful. From one "Yellowbelly" to another, keep struggling, don't feel bad about having a moan and rant on here, unload all your shit here, we'll cart it off for you. If you are going Ct, get your head all geed up for it, don't go into it half hearted, just get yourself good and ready. David. xxx

  • Thank you all so much, it feels good to know your all out there. I will not quit quitting but I might have to do some more moaning about it before I come through this! I think it will have to be CT from Saturday cos from all I've read it seems to be the quickest way. NRT will be a good thing for lots of people but I just don't have the staminer to keep feeling like this.

    Thankyou all of you, if I cheer up I'll post something more cheerful tomorrow.

    EBT it's been good to hear your doing well again keep it up.

    Hopeful

  • Hopeful, You have to quit the way you feel is best for you. I quit CT and it was pretty easy for me. Easy because I thought it was going to be awful (from what everyone told me) and was determined that I was going to quit and that was all there was to it. So, I guess because I was expecting it to be rolling on the floor in agony painful, I was so surprised, that my mind said Wow, This is a piece of cake, I can do this! In short, it's all in your mind set. Quitting doesn't have anything to do with physcial pain. There is nothing to fear! Craves are only thoughts, so redirect your mind from them. Sing a song or recite a poem or do the times table, anything to put your mind in another place. After the first 72 hours the craves are less and less. Just easy to get rid of thoughts. Example: was sitting having a bowl of ice cream, when I finished a thought popped in my head, I will go have a cig. I started to get up from the chair and thought Oh, I don't have any cigs cause I don't smoke. The thought went away. Like someone popped a balloon, that fast! I smoked 30 sometimes 40 a day for 35 years and am 59 years old. Why did I wait so long to quit? Fear. Now I could kick myself. You can do this. Either with the gum or CT. Just keep going!

  • Moan all you want Hopeful!! Have a good cry too..... my first month was not fun.... I cried to my mom "I don't want to live like this.... it sucks.... I am going to smoke again if this sh.. doesn't stop upsetting my life so much" and then POOF and I felt better shortly after..... I agree, get rid of the nrt and don't stress over when, where, how..... you have given up cigarettes already..... this last step will be okay as well.... GOOD TIMES ARE JUST AROUND THE CORNER.... when you feel like you can't do it anymore..... go another day and then another one and you will feel better :)

  • Hi Hopeful

    I am so sorry you felt so down yesterday and hope you feel better this morning

    Right first things first as they say, never apologise for anything you post on here, we've nearly all of us been there at some point in our quits OK

    It could well be that the gum doesn't suit you for some reason it doesn't everyone I used it years ago but couldn't get on with it at all

    Maybe you should stop it or at least cut it down, but if you stop it you will after 3 days rid your body of nicotine once and for all and that has to be a good thing

    I know it's a scary thought just as quitting in the first place was but you did it and I know you can do this if you really want to

    The constant tiredness I know doesn't help you but I'm afraid it's something most of us have to put up with but it does pass I promise

    I know you want to quit in part for your daughter and that's really good, but you also have to

    WANT IT FOR YOU AS WELL

    I am sorry I wasn't around for you last night, but decided to have an early night for once

    Remember we're all here for you whenever you need us for whatever reason for as long as you need us

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxxx

  • How are you feeling today? Do what is best for you. But I did NRT for two weeks and then realised it wasn't mentally best for me. Then cut down for a week and jumped off the nicotine bandwagon. 3 days of physical, a few more of mental and then it all settled down. If you are ready to come off nrt then just do it. In this case the grass really is greener on the other side. xxxx

  • Thanks to you all for replying.

    I'm feeling a bit better today and still havn't smoked. I was considering having a puff or two today but all your replies has strengthened my resolve.

    I've got 4 days off work from Sat to Wed and do you know what, I'm going to have a go at CT. I know it wont be easy but if it speeds this proccess up then it will be worth it. I think I know what to expect. I'm only using 6 pcs of 2mg gum at the moment so I'm hoping it wont be too bad to go from that to zero! Anyway I've got you guys so get ready for some serious ranting. I will put a rant warning as my title so that if anyone is having a struggle they will know not to read it.

    I'm proud that I havn't given in and had one of my 'days off to give myself a break' because it's been tough going to get to week 2 and I don't want to go back to day 1. These milestones are important to my psycological well being.

    I'm going to read how everyone else is doing now 'cos I find that such a help.

    Thanks again your all stars!

    Hopeful

  • Hi hopful xxx Sorry to hear you are struggling. I'm gonna tell you about my frind now... now I know some people agree with NRT, but I am not one of these people...and this is only MY opinion, each to their own really.

    Now, my friend gave up same time as me 3 weeks and 1 day ago. I went CT after reading the Allen Carr book, my friend said she CANNOT go ct..NO WAY and attended a Cessation Clinic where they gave her patched and a inhaler. Now she used the inhaler for a week, then she said she didn't like it and went onto a little tablet that you let disolve in the gum, and she is still on patches.

    NOW, 3 weeks into our quit and I cannot believe the difference in us!! :eek: It really does shock me and sadden me that my friend is still really struggling with this quit :( .... for me, YES, the first week was a bitch and thats putting it nicely, but now.... it's just not an issue. Yes I still get the fleeting moments, the trigger thoughts of cigs... but it is as I say, very fleeting moments. My friend got very upset on Sunday saying " I really need a fag " ..... I am just sooo shocked that she is still being affected like this after 3 weeks :-(

    Other people have commented the difference between us to!! My hubby said he would give up BUT not with NRT... it has to be CT or nothing... cos he would never ever stay quit if he was still feeling like my friend after 3 weeks...and do you know, I don't think I would still be quit either!!

    I really hope you get the break you deserve Hopful xxx Stay strong, you have done brilliantly so far hun xxx

    AS I SAID, THIS IS MY OPINION, EACH TO THEIR OWN.

  • Hi Hopeful :D

    I am so pleased you feel a bit better today and haven't smoked either

    I think you're making the right decision for you especially as you're only on 2mg gum I feel this shouldn't be to hard for you as you have some days off

    Rant all you like we really don't mind at all I know it's been hard for you but you've quit the fags,I really think you'll find it easierto stop the gum

    Remember we're here OK

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxx

  • Slinky, I'm really glad you've told me that 'cos it backs up my thinking. It is a very personal decision Iknow but like you I've got something to make a comparrison with. My daughter went ct after Allen Carr seminar and like I said, to see her now you would think she had never smoked. My daughter never looks back execpt in disgust at what she used to do. When I spoke to her recently on the phone and told her how tough I was finding it she tried to reasure me that it wont be as bad as this. Maybe the first 3 or 4 days but once that's behind me I think I'll find it easier. Thankyou

    Hoeful

  • Get rid of the nrt hopeful

    I want to say before I begin that I am truely sorry for this thread 'cos I'm feeling really down at the moment and this forum is full of positive people all trying to help each other. I hate to use it to moan and almost hope that nobody will read it.

    I am exhausted! I am down and sad. If I had a cigarette right now I know that I would smoke it. I very nearly bought some today. My daughter is in bed and it would be a 15min walk to go and get some and she would be too sad if I did.

    I don't feel as though I'm even making sense at the moment. I'm going to start at the begining and just rant in the hope that it will adventually make some sense to me at least.

    When I started this, way back in Feb, nearly 7 weeks ago I honestly didn't know what I was letting myself in for. I still crave regullaly, I chew gum till I'm sick of it and not smoking feels like the only thing that I can think or talk about. I'm even boring myself now.

    I've been reading some very good links that I've been given and I believe now that it's because I'm using NRT I'm struggling like this. It never seems to end and just keeps going on and on. I think I am going to have to try the CT way, I'm scared of that cos I know there's another rough 3 days if I do it that way but if I've been reading and understanding properly, the craves will end when I get the nicotine out of my body. I can't do it till Saturday 'cos I have to concentrate at work. I've got from Sat to Wed off work so I'm going to try then. Until then I suppose I'll just keep chewing and try my best.

    So sorry for my big moan. I know we all find it tough but I just feel that I honestly don't want to smoke again but I can't take much more of this tiredness and constant thinking about not smoking.

    I hope I havn't pulled any of you down by this and I never want to quit quitting but for heavens sake................... This has felt like over 6 weeks of torture.

    By the way, my older daughter attended an Allen Carr cessation seminar and I know it was tough for her to go CT bUt I can see the difference between getting it over quickly and dragging it out as I have done.

    Sorry, sorry sorry. I'm all out of energy and I'm stopping now for a big feel sorry for myself cry.

    a very tired and sad Hopeful

    Hi huni

    I didnt realize you were on NRT, whilst Im not opposed to it and it does work for some people. I personally think its a prolonging of the agony and you are still feeding your mind and body on nicotine. Get rid of it take the 3 days, read read and read all the links. I recommend you read all of Billys posts they are brilliant. Come on hun you can do this.

    STAY STRONG LIKE THE EBT ;)

  • Please listen to your daughter H ;) I really think that, yes, the first couple of days going CT can be a bum!! Get on with it, face it, deal with it and move on DO NOT SMOKE!! I bet you £1 :D ( I'm skint after easter ) that after a week, you feel a hell of a lot better about your quit than when you was on the gum!!

    I do think gum/inhaler etc is just prolonging things!! As I said, this is my own opinion.

    Good luck H!! Keep going ... I'll get my £1 ready :D:D

  • hang in there hopeful..

    And if you are really scared of falling.. it may be a good idea to speak with your doctor and arrange a perscription for champix.. which you could hold as a last resort..

    just an idea to give you a prop.. while you keep on the CT avenue..

    i have found that champix really takes the edge off the urge big time..

    hopeful you are doing it .. and keep on keeping one which ever way you chose..

    well done!!!:):):)

    lots of love jane

    and remember we are all here as support for each other...

    so thanks for your help hopeful... for your honesty .. and willingness to ask for help...

    and thanks for your commitment to not smoking

You may also like...