I want to say before I begin that I am truely sorry for this thread 'cos I'm feeling really down at the moment and this forum is full of positive people all trying to help each other. I hate to use it to moan and almost hope that nobody will read it.
I am exhausted! I am down and sad. If I had a cigarette right now I know that I would smoke it. I very nearly bought some today. My daughter is in bed and it would be a 15min walk to go and get some and she would be too sad if I did.
I don't feel as though I'm even making sense at the moment. I'm going to start at the begining and just rant in the hope that it will adventually make some sense to me at least.
When I started this, way back in Feb, nearly 7 weeks ago I honestly didn't know what I was letting myself in for. I still crave regullaly, I chew gum till I'm sick of it and not smoking feels like the only thing that I can think or talk about. I'm even boring myself now.
I've been reading some very good links that I've been given and I believe now that it's because I'm using NRT I'm struggling like this. It never seems to end and just keeps going on and on. I think I am going to have to try the CT way, I'm scared of that cos I know there's another rough 3 days if I do it that way but if I've been reading and understanding properly, the craves will end when I get the nicotine out of my body. I can't do it till Saturday 'cos I have to concentrate at work. I've got from Sat to Wed off work so I'm going to try then. Until then I suppose I'll just keep chewing and try my best.
So sorry for my big moan. I know we all find it tough but I just feel that I honestly don't want to smoke again but I can't take much more of this tiredness and constant thinking about not smoking.
I hope I havn't pulled any of you down by this and I never want to quit quitting but for heavens sake................... This has felt like over 6 weeks of torture.
By the way, my older daughter attended an Allen Carr cessation seminar and I know it was tough for her to go CT bUt I can see the difference between getting it over quickly and dragging it out as I have done.
Sorry, sorry sorry. I'm all out of energy and I'm stopping now for a big feel sorry for myself cry.
a very tired and sad Hopeful