Loosing 2 Children 19 months apart.

My 12 yr old son died unexpectedly while my 17 yr old daughter Chassidy was going through chemo treatment. He died on a Saturday and that Monday we had to take Chassidy for a chemo treatment, her doctors were lost for words as we were, but I had to put on my full brave face b/c I knew my daughter was fighting for her life. I never told my daughter her grim prognosis b/c I wanted her to put up her best fight, I only wanted positive energy, sometimes I wrestle thinking if I did the right thing. I never really and truly grieved there deaths because when Chris died I had to be there for Chassidy and my other daughter Jasmine, When Chassidy died I had to be there for Jasmine because suddenly she had no siblings. I went through a secret depression if that makes any sense. My husband Bruce did as much as he could to support me, I felt so alone and sometimes I still do, certain situations can bring a overwhelming flood of emotions back, but I feel like now I need to seek support or I will loose my mind because I've held in things for so long.Thank you

[Andilynn]

Dear Chatchris, My heart breaks for you. I hope you are able to find a grief support group in your community or a private counselor to help you through this incredibly challenging time. You are in my prayers.

[Tinkerbellcgy]

Chatchris0809, I am at a loss for words. What a tragic set of circumstances you have had to face. Losing one child and then losing the second child is nothing short of tragedy.

If you have access to grief counselling as well as counselling to deal with you depression might be the way that you need to go to help you deal with your losses. You have been strong for Jasmine because you needed to but now it is time to look after you. Please seek out professional counselling and psychological assistance for yourself.

My condolences on your losses and know that there is support for you when you need it.

[Calipewings_2016]

I'm so terrible sorry. My heart goes out to you.

[Cjjn3]

Words are not enough to express heartfelt condolences. I pray that through proper channels and support of family and friends you may find some peace and comfort🙏

[Mennie]

Oh my god my thoughts are with You chatchris I hope you get all the support you need you are in my prayers please take care xxx

[Jfournie72]

Deepest sympathies! I can't imagine the sense of loss you must feel. I can only hope that you are able to find a counselor, friend or support group that can comfort you and your surviving child through this overwhelming saddness and loneliness.

[Josie2rulrs]

I am so sorry

[alicata1943]

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this tragic time. I pray that you can find a support group that is for parents that have a lost a child/children. Friends of mine tried a grieving support group but it didn't meet their needs and then their minister recommended one for parents who have lost a child. Words can't express how my heart goes out to you. I pray you get counseling besides a grieving group. Your husband and you need to lean on each other as he is grieving too. Men keep a lot of emotions inside and hidden. Turn to each other and talk, hug and seek help.

[Glenmeadow]

Dearest chatchris. I can not even imagine the layers of grief under all the brave coping and carrying others you have done. Show Jessica how to engage in great self care by doing it for yourself my god you deserve it. Rest journaling sharing remembering eating well trying to reengage in things you love getting exercise and finding a community of people who have. Shared experience. I will be praying for you!

[BelindaTupper]

Hi chatchris0809, I just read your post and I am heart broken for you. I haven't experienced anything similar, but I wanted to encourage you to seek help from a reputable psychiatrist, someone who understands the changes that happen in our bodies when we experience extreme trauma and grief. I went through a rough time a few years ago (lost my mother in law with cancer, then within 6 months my nephew was murdered...then some other stuff....horrible time)....It wasn't until a few years later that I felt like things weren't quite right with me. I couldn't trust what I was thinking....anyway without the referral to my psychiatrist I would not have known I was suffering with a pretty serious depression. I hope you are able to find the help you are seeking.

[SuzyQ1948]

You have had your share and I am so sorry. No words can make things better but just know someone cares.

[budsmom912]

My deepest, deepest sympathy, As a Mom myself, I can imagine your heartbreak of losing not one, but two children. My heart is hurting for you. Keep your family close to you and most definitely seek individual and family therapy. Your husband and daughter are probably hurting as much as you .You are in my prayers.

[Cherylonthedock]

Chatchris, sweet girl as a mom we know our children and when they are ill we know what is best for them. Do not second guess what you did or didn't tell them. As both a mom and a pediatric nurse for 45 yrs, I was around gravely ill children and their parents and you must believe me when I tell you God and his angels gives mothers special intuition and words to parents and children around the time of death. I will guarantee you did just fine.

Now you must be gentle with you, remember the good times and memories with your children. Don't be afraid to mention their names aloud or celebrate their special days, let people know it's ok to talk about them and you want to talk about them. Celebrate them and others will to. If you need someone to talk to I would be happy to share my info with you. Cheryl J.

[Hidden in reply to Cherylonthedock]

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond, I'm finally sharing stories about them to others, it's such a relief that I can release.

[l-al]

I can only imagine your grief. I lost my dau ghter at age 50 from liver cancer that came on suddenly. When she was 9, she had NHL, was treated at St. Jude's hospital, with weekly chemo locally. She recovered, married and had four children. It was devastating. What you are going through is more devastating. I hope you can find solace from within. Do you have access to a support group? My doctor recommended several. Stay strong for yourself and your family!

[Hidden in reply to l-al]

Thank you so much, I am so sorry for your loss as well. I continue to take one day at a time, so many people have lost love ones, I find comfort in sharing with others who have stories like mine.

Be Blessed!

[Hidden]

Please know that we are here for you anytime. What you have been dealt is gut wrenching. I can't even imagine your pain. Sometimes life can be so unfair and cruel, best rest assured that in time your pain may lessen. Please please please seek help. Take care of yourself not only for yourself, but for your daughter and husband.

[oncloudnine]

My heartfelt condolences go out to you. To lose two of your children is absolutely tragic. You will be in my thoughts, and you will definitely be in my prayers. God bless you.

[dbalthrop]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[l-al]

Please accept my strongest condolences. I cannot imagine the heartache you must be feeling. I lost my 50 yr.olD daughter to liver cancer in 2015. She had non Hodgkin's lymphoma when she was 9 and I had a 4yr. old then. I felt I needed to be two moms but you can't. You just do the best you can. I have friend who lost two sons, both to motorcycle accidents years apart but doesn't matter, she probably feels as you do. Try to stay strong for your other daughter, and yourself. You have two angels watching.

[SuzyQ1948]

I lost my husband and only sister about 4 months apart and I can't imagine losing to children at the same time. I just came across your post that I hadn't seen and wanted to tell you, I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,

Sue

[Gailbarnes]

My prayers and thoughts are with you, I lost my son Jeffery july15, he was 27yr old. I can't imagine, in my wildest dreams losing two. Omg, I'm so sorry.im still numb, sounds like you done the right thing to me. Im not the person I use to be. It makes me not even want to fight, but I have custody​ of my grandkids. I'm all they have, a grief website will help. Or it has me, I have no one, I live with a man who won't even put his arm around me, much less help me through my grief. And I keep him up, LMBO it's time to make a change though. We all need love.GOD bless you

[dthomas]

Chatchris0809, you are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. Believe in spite of your suffering that God has everything under His control. Don't lose faith, He's able.

[Dlindquist54]

I'm so very sorry! There is no way I can know what you are going through! Hope you take time to grieve and help your daughter to know it's okay to grieve by watching you😉