The other day was National Mental Health day and I thought a lot about my own experiences with bipolar disorder. I read a fact by NAMI that said 75% of mental health issues begin at 24. I was 23-24 when I had my first experience with bipolar disorder. Why am I saying all of this on a website dedicated to Kidney Disease/Failure, because without my mental health issues I wouldn't be here. Immediately after my first bipolar episode full of high highs and low lows, I began taking lithium. It made me feel normal not flat and it was a feeling of normalcy that I wanted to sustain. I kept taking lithium well cared for and managed but silently doing damage to my kidneys until it was obvious to doctors that I needed to be seen by a nephrologist. It breaks my heart that I'm here today telling this story, but I always say this is my journey and I'm going to brightside it. Maybe what I say will help someone else. Maybe someone else will feel a sense of comfort to know that they are not alone.
I've had some episodes of depression that had me stuck to the bed unable to do anything but gaze out of the window and watch the leaves on a tree blow back and forth. I've had some manic episodes that had me on a merry go round of projects, reading and music. I am thankful that people were around me that got me to the hospital and then to my parents. I searched and searched for a reason why. I never did find one so I stopped looking and started my path to acceptance. I was on lithium for ten years before I got off it. Transitioning to something new felt like an uneasy exploration, but I knew it had to be done. Luckily it was okay I felt like I could still live my life.
In one of my depression episodes I felt like I didn't want to live and attempted suicide. I now use a wheelchair from a devastating accident where I jumped from a building onto a landing. I recall patchy details of that day that I won't repeat here. Luckily I have a high level of function and have been able to live a really good life. This lead me to counseling and medication management for over twenty years. It's been amazing that these mental health professionals have been able to be so helpful to me. That's something I want to share. Though counseling may not be great for everyone, it is really helpful to so many. It is truly a growth experience. I hope that my honestly though protected by anonymity is powerful. This is my truth and I share it with you to brightside mental health. Mental Health is a powerful powerful thing. Let us all be healed if need be by the support of professionals and loved ones.
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Transplant evaluation appointment 
Dialysis Nurses Trying to give unsolicited medical advice
