Grieving

[Quita55]

Hi I just had surgery to put in a fistula last Friday. I'm healing a little bit sore. I know that it is ok to go through the grieving process but I have been fighting with my emotions stuffing the feelings. I'm afraid of what I will go through

Has anyone else been in this situation where you fight your emotions? I'm looking forward to hearing a kind word of how to go through this grieving process. Especially before doing dialysis for the first time

[Grateful4_life]

Good morning, Quita55. I'm sorry that you are feeling so down. I, too, had a difficult time when first starting dialysis. I think it is absolutely natural to grieve your old life while not truly knowing how your new life will be.

In my case, I ended up talking to a therapist who helped me work through my anxiety and worry. I've learned that for me, "stuffing the feelings" doesn't work.

I wish you the best on your journey. 😊

[Hidden]

You are experiencing a changing environment and I felt the same when I started doing PD. But once you heal and start HD it will be the normal for you, then next step is to get that transplant done.

[Darlenia]

Hi Quita. Although I'm not in your situation, I'm the anxious caregiver to my husband who went through all the steps to be on dialysis this past June. Our nephrologist noticed my husband was resisting dialysis and deeply mourning the loss of his old way of life (who wouldn't?) - and offered a lifeline. Our nephrologist pointed out that dialysis should be viewed as a bridge to a transplant; a temporary situation leading to optimistic and catheter-free a future for those able to get on the kidney transplant list. So we took immediate steps to get on it with his referral. Working towards that goal, and achieving it, gives both of us a sense of direction and peace of mind. As hard as it is, there may well be a light at the end of this dark tunnel for you too - hopefully it's a transplant or, if not, something else. And yes, talking to a good therapist is definitely helpful too. Blessings.

[NurseRed]

I have been on PD for a year and still very emotional especially after a fistula was placed in my arm in case hemo.I found my self crying alot very withdrawn and depressed but ive turned to faith and spoke with folks who have been thru this has helped my biggest upset was my weight gain but im trying to keep positive

[SadMad]

I talk to a therapist and cry a lot. I feel it is better not to hold in stuff now. I do cry mostly in private. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[Jayhawker in reply to SadMad]

I just keep reminding myself that dialysis is a life saving treatment. As I continue to wait for the word from my nephrologist saying it’s time to place the catheter, I wrestle with my emotions too. I suspect we each do. It’s a major mental battle. My faith has become such a major part of life. I’m also learning to live in the moment, enjoy each moment. I’m such an advanced planner that it is a real change for me to live in the moment, enjoy a walk on the first warm spring day, enjoy the garden awakening after winter, etc. But these are the things I focus on each day now.

I’m not on dialysis yet but have expected to be placed on it three times over the past 4 years. (I’ve been in renal failure since the first week of January 2017.) I sometimes think the wait to be placed on dialysis is worse than actually getting started...But I can’t say how I’ll feel as I actually, finally, start. So I wait...learning to live in the moment and knowing that God’s got this.

You’re in my thoughts and prayers💜

Jayhawker

[SadMad]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏