I'm 76, live alone, my daughter & family live out-of-state, my friend base has dwindled considerably over the past 5 yrs as friends have moved away. I have several chronic health issues and self-isolated myself 7 days ago as a precautionary measure.
Yesterday, my neighbor/friend of over 40 yrs called at 8 am. She & hubby are in their 80's and I knew adult son who lives with them was on his way back from Wyoming. She asked if I could drive her to grocery to pick up her car...suppose she'd gone for sr. early shopping, but no clue why car was there or how she got home.
When I called her back to say I was dressed and ready, I said but I have a favor. Before I could say more, she said do you want me to wear a mask? No, I'll be wearing a mask but will you please sit in the backseat? Her response: "No, I won't and can't believe you'd ask me to do that. I'll not have you drive me and hung up the phone".
She has nieces who live here and later on my way to mailbox noted her car was in her driveway. I refused to let the incident ruin my day but was floored at her angry response. Guess this is one of times when "no good deed goes unpunished".
The neighbor's daughter and gs from Wyoming had flown down for a several day visit and decided it better for neighbor's adult son to drive them back. During visit, there were many in and out of house. I was willing to help but felt I had every right to take personal precautions.
Just writing to vent, I suppose, but also to caution others that during times of great uncertainty like this, don't be too surprised if others you know react differently than what one would expect.
We can and will get through this as a nation but using caution, not panic; courtesy and compassion rather than fear produced anger will make it easier and faster for that to occur. Best to all. Take good care.
Written by
FlowerPreciousLover
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8 Replies
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Hang in there. You did the right thing. The safety issue you were concerned about was also for the protection of your neighbor. While many people are doing their best to help family and friends, you can't satisfy everyone.
Your request was sensible. Feel good about yourself for trying to help out. People right now are on edge and cranky. Some will rise to the top. Just focus on what a nice person you are and stay safe
Please do not personalize this as it is not your issue; it is clearly your neighbor's.
I applaud you for following CDC guidelines and also for taking care of yourself.
People are frightened, mis-led and often plain negligent of the recommended social distancing, use of masks where needed among other things.
I saw this chosen ignorance today in Wal-Mart who did not cordon off 6 ft apart and people didn't respect it and socializing in the aisles unlike CVS and Home Depot.
People often have no regard for others.
Your neighbor is the unfortunate person as she can't see the forest through the trees; that you were generous and caring as Bassetmommer told you.
True friendship is mutual respect in good times and tough ones.
It's at times like these you really get to know who you're friends are, it's clear that she's not much of a friend at all. Not concerned about your health at all it seems. I would advise when situations have got better with the corona virus that u seek out new friends.
Hi there FlowerPreciousLover. I hear ya! You’re absolutely right in everything you said. In times like this, it seems people just don’t think completely straight. Some people (that is, most people, unfortunately) tend to take these things personally. It’s strange because she asked you if you wanted her to wear a mask, so one would think that, being aware of this situation, sitting in the back seat was not too much to ask.
It’s very possible that she took the “back seat” request as an insult, believing that you were implying that she’s a lessor being. It sounds crazy, but aside from that, I can’t imagine why it would have offended her so much when she should understand what’s taking place. Perhaps she doesn’t realize that being a person with multiple health issues, you need to take special precautions during this time. Maybe, once this cools down a little, you may want to remind her of that.
Good luck to you, and don’t worry about this. I suspect that soon enough, she’ll come to her senses, and realize that your request was not meant to belittle her, that it was just a safety measure.
Please take good care of yourself. We’re here for you! All my best to you! God bless. 😊👍
U r much nicer than I. There is a neighbor two doors down who was just at ER 3 min from my home where 1st case of virus reported this close by. Neighbor who drove neighbor home from ER consistently shows up at my door. Then I again, have to clean with rubbing alcohol. She knows I have diabetes and stage 3 kidney disease. Two high risk medical issues. All I can think of is to put a note on my door saying please respect that I have 2 serious medical conditions putting me at high risk for virus. Thought about sign that frankly says Go Away. Just kidding. I guarantee I will b viewed as an overreacting snob at the least. I've decided to ignore door knocking neighbor who doesn't adhere to 6 ft social distancing.
Gotta tell ya, I like the sign idea! You go, Klove22! Yeah, if people can’t respect each other enough to realize that they are putting you at risk (as well as themselves, remember) then a big bold print sign just may be the right answer!
Stay well, Klove22! Only open your door if you have to. All my best to you. God bless. 😊👍
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