First Face-to-Face With Other CKD Patients - Kidney Disease

Kidney Disease

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First Face-to-Face With Other CKD Patients

FlowerPreciousLover profile image

I am a 76 yr old, live alone woman who has long prided myself on my independence. The CKD stage 3 diagnosis in 2019 left me feeling very alone and frightened. Both pcp and nephrologist seemed unconcerned about my CKD and I knew no one else with renal problems.

After many hours and weeks spent searching and learning more about CKD, I was fortunate to find this forum. That discovery was the hope and help producer that made all the difference for me this past year. I've become very proactive and give this group all of the credit for their many referral sites, personal success stories and for learning better ways of managing with this chronic malady.

My pcp knew of no local kidney support groups and I hadn't asked nephrologist in 2 brief visits with her. By accident, I discovered a local support group not funded by either the Nat'l or Am. Kidney associations. I attended my first qtrly meeting last week and it was incredibly worthwhile.

Two members were long survivors of a kidney transplant. News to me that they can now "eat almost anything", they are highly functioning and feeling better than in decades. They continue with regular labs but are both working full time.

Another patient, with no idea or symptoms of renal problems became violently ill at work and when rushed to emergency, was started next day on dialysis. She continued at dialysis center for 3 yrs before just recently beginning home dialysis. This past week she was able to return to work 4 hrs/day and will begin full time next week.

She and her partner laughed about the number of boxes of stored supplies required and the absolute need for utter cleanliness and hygiene but their story was incredibly uplifting.

They are waiting results to see if her guy qualifies as a match for her transplant. If not, he is signed up for a "share" program in which he can donate to another match which I think will move her up on the transplant list.

The facilitator was wonderful. She is employed by our teaching hospital as a nephrology social worker. With 20 + yrs of experience, she was not only a wealth of information but very personable and engaging to boot.

Another young woman attended not as a kidney patient but because this is the Only support group in our city of 300,000. She is a heart transplant survivor with a small 5 yr old. She attends because she just needs to be with others dealing with serious chronic conditions.

The facilitator reported that currently there are 1,090 patients on dialysis here. We no longer do heart transplants and kidney transplants are performed 275 miles away. And yet, in a city of 300,000+, this is the only local support group for heart and kidney patients. The hospital provides some financial and location support but most is raised through twice annual fund raisers.

I share this because just meeting others and hearing their stories helped me so much. I learned new information which will help on my journey. I encourage all to keep spreading the word that there is help and hope available and that all, regardless of where on the CKD spectrum, can benefit from support whether online or through local support groups.

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FlowerPreciousLover
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15 Replies

I completely understand your feeling of empowerment when you are in a support group. When I travel on my long trips, my nephrologist will set up me up with groups where I'm visiting and share what I've learned with others as they share their experiences with me.

While many folks come to CKD, dialysis, and/or transplantation from different directions, almost everyone has something in common with others in attendance. At first, I was content to just sit and listen but it was amazing to find that even though these were vastly different groups of people they all shared a common issue...a chronic illness that is virtually ignored or deemed insignificant until the later stages.

To a person, they all agreed, being proactive was the best thing they could have done to take control and stay in control of their healthcare. Knowledge is power and second behind being proactive and just as important as building and maintaining a care team of professionals that would work with them to give them the strongest opportunity to lead the life they wanted and not the life they were dealt with if they just let things happen.

Your post sent me back to my notes from those visits and in order of importance, the list below is what I found they considered to be the most crucial parts of tackling a chronic illness such as CKD.

1. Becoming proactive

2. Building a care team

3 Having a positive attitude

4. Changing to a lifestyle that allows them to be

5. Being an advocate for others who need help to begin

Thanks for your post.

FlowerPreciousLover profile image
FlowerPreciousLover in reply to

And thank you, Mr. Kidney, for your response as well as the many other threads you are so quickly and helpfully responsive to. Thanks too for sharing and spreading the word with others as you travel about the importance of being proactive, gathering a strong care team, changing one's lifestyle and becoming an advocate for others. All so incredibly important and each can make a wonderful difference for all concerned.

Jayhawker profile image
Jayhawker

Thanks for sharing this post with us🐶

I, too, am a very independent single woman. I’ll be 67 years old in August 3020. CKD is tough, especially if you live alone. But we’re absolutely navigating this medical condition!!

Jayhawker

FlowerPreciousLover profile image
FlowerPreciousLover in reply to Jayhawker

Thanks, Jayhawker. Good to "meet" another single, independent woman who knows the additional challenges single people sometimes face and who have to work a little harder to overcome.

Because of your posts and others here, Healthunlocked has become part of my "required reading". Always learn so much from what others post. Thank you.

lowraind profile image
lowraind in reply to FlowerPreciousLover

Agreed!

Jayhawker profile image
Jayhawker in reply to FlowerPreciousLover

Yes, this has been a valued part of my day too.

Jayhawker

Bassetmommer profile image
BassetmommerNKF Ambassador

HI,

I was dismayed to find out that in our large metropolitan area there wasn't any support group. I actually offered to start one and was told no. Which led me to being a Peer Mentor for NKF and this community. I love this forum and I have learned so much from everyone. Now I will be doing community kidney education through our Ambulance Corps. I believe that in giving I receive, in educating I become educated.

Jayhawker profile image
Jayhawker in reply to Bassetmommer

Interesting; I wonder why you were told no. I initially asked if there was a patient support group when I was diagnosed and was told no. Just seems like it would be helpful to have patient and family support groups that meet once a month or so.

Jayhawker

Bassetmommer profile image
BassetmommerNKF Ambassador in reply to Jayhawker

I was told no because they had tried it before and did not get a good response. In truth, they had just hired a new community director and I think she did not want to have more on her plate. What sucked was I had written a training curriculum and guild lines and it was a no brainer for her and a win win for patients. I even reached out to National, and they said no, but to do the Peer Mentor program training, which I did.

Jayhawker profile image
Jayhawker in reply to Bassetmommer

Hum—definitely not helpful for persons with CKD who would like to attend face to face support groups.

Jayhawker

FlowerPreciousLover profile image
FlowerPreciousLover in reply to Bassetmommer

What a shabby "reason" you were given. Obviously the "deciders" had never heard the expression...if first you don't succeed...try, try again. What a loss for your community but a lovely gain for ours! The new comm. dir. missed a real opportunity to bring more participants into the community.

And P.S. Every time I see a post from you, I remember my wonderful basset, Happy Lee and smile. She was such a comical, loving fur baby! She and kitty, Precious Lover, cuddled like two peas in a pod.

BigBilly profile image
BigBilly in reply to FlowerPreciousLover

Hey Flowerlady. I'm 80 and still married to my bride of 57 years. Most of our friends are from the church to which we belong, I'm CKD4 because my R kidney was removed due to cancer. I recently read in a reliable publication that the effect of loneliness is equivalent to being a heavy cigarette smoker (mortality wise). Apart from this support group, I hope you have friends with whom you interact on a face-to-face basis!

FlowerPreciousLover profile image
FlowerPreciousLover in reply to BigBilly

Thank you BigBilly for your caring post. I love it that you are an 80yr old 57 yr bridegroom! Wonderful.

I have always been very aware of how truly fortunate I am to have been surrounded with a strong network of true friends throughout my life. Solely responsible for what I called my not-for-profit extended family care, my friends have been my north star and most valued care network.

My heart goes out to those who find themselves aging, living alone, chronically ill and without the support of friends. That is why support groups like this are so much more than just the main topical suggestions and responses offered.

Bassetmommer profile image
BassetmommerNKF Ambassador in reply to FlowerPreciousLover

I have had bassets for years. I worked with a basset rescue group and was a foster failure..... Right now I have two little mixes who were in bad shape and needed a home very badly. They are adorable, but not bassets. We decided not to do a big dog because when our 115 pound bassador passed six years ago, we had an awful time getting him down the stairs and out to the vet. I never want to do that again. It was horrendous. But now they have mobile vets...so next time... it will be a gaggle of bassets.

Ohh, I am jealous of your fostering but like you, I Know I just wouldn't be able to give up the "temporaries"! So very glad that there are those who can foster without becoming overly attached. Pets, like friends, make any day better!

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