Since I found out my 2nd kidney transplant is about half damaged from the anti-rejection drug I was taking, going back on dialysis & being rejected for a 3rd kidney transplant I have lost all ambition. I don't have a car, I can't walk long distances so my sister pushes me in a wheelchair & this past January I lost my strength that kept me going, Sophie my cat. I'm 56 yrs old & dialysis is kicking my butt plus I am registered with another hospital to see if they will take me & put me on the transplant list. I really don't know what I want to do. Half of me says stop dialysis and let nature take its course and the other half says you are strong and a fighter and you can do this. I cry all the time. I watch funny videos on youtube just to laugh every so often. I wish someone could make the decision for me. I try real hard to stay positive, but it's not easy. I never thought I would still be living at this age when I was a kid with CKD. Thanks for reading & letting me vent.