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I don't know HOW you all stay SO FOCUSED!!!

EVERY attempt at long term weight loss has failed me. EVERY ONE OF THEM. My problem-I'm an all or nothing type of person. I want to lose all my weight in 2 weeks. ( One week would be better)!! I can easily steadily lose 2 pounds a week. But no-that's not enough for me. So, what do I do every time? I start to reduce my calories so much to lose more weight, and ultimately stop dieting because i can't take it anymore. This is a never-ending cycle. It's ridiculous already because i KNOW it doesn't work. So my question is-HOW in the world do you all stay so patient and endure the diet without getting in a horrible mood, and just accepting the SLOWWWWWWW weight loss?? I CAN'T wrap my head around this concept. If i could, I might have been thin ages ago. Anyone else with this constant problem?? I have ZERO patience when it comes to weight loss! ( or anything else for that matter 😳😞☹) I can't tell you how much respect and admiration I have for all of you ladies ( and gents too), who can endure this arduous process. And I don't even have THAT MUCH weight to lose. Just 20 pounds to look decent. That would bring me down to 130. But that 10 weeks of losing just 2 pounds a week might as well be a year!! HELP!!!.I need someone to say something to me that will just "CLICK" once and for all!! Thanks in advance!! 😊

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I doubt there's a person here who wouldn't also like to do a quick twirl in a telephone box and come out the right size.

For me, it's been about finding a way of eating that will keep me fit and healthy for life, with losing weight as a by-product. I've no idea if that would work for you. Probably not. If you could shift the focus from your weight to learning about eating healthily and working out how that's going to fit into your life, then the three months or so that it will take to get you near your preferred weight will be a one-off. That sounds like a good deal to me.

The alternative is to spend a lifetime yoyoing, which doesn't sound much fun.

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Forgot to say: the other thing that keeps me focused is coming here more or less every day, just to read what other people are talking about, join in, give a bit of encouragement. I find that strengthens my commitment so it's a win-win. and support

Why not give yourself 15 mins a day to come here, don't post, just read and chat, join in some of the activities listed in the chat thread healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... and see how you go? Commit to giving a supportive comment to 2/3 people each time you come here: it will really pay you back :)

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Thanks so much BridgeGirl-The reason I DON'T come here often is because I don't have the same mindset that you all do, so coming here makes me feel even worse. As I said, I totally commend all of you, but I just don't have it in me to do what you all do. Wish I did!!

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The forum isn't much use to you if you're not here. It might work if you did just come here to encourage other people. You might see people succeeding, but, from the inside, it's a different picture and most people are just making their way as best they can.

Have a look now. Scroll down the newsfeed and say something encouraging to the first three people you come to who are finding it difficult. Doesn't have to be anything complicated, just, "I hope you get that sorted" or "Wishing you a better week" can really lift someone

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I really agree with all that has been said here by BridgeGirl

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By supporting others you may begin to listen to what’s in your head. Writing it down does make a difference.

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This is what's working for me after years of failed dieting.

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That's good to hear. It's a change of mindset, then things fall into place and become less of a battle

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Coming round here daily is a good tip, but in the end: you have to come to terms with the fact that the only thing that´ll get and keep you at the weight you want to be is stuff you can KEEP doing. Reaching your goal weight isn´t worth much if you then go back to doing whatever you did to gain weight in the first place. And that sounds scary at first, like you´ll only have the bleakness of abstinence to look forward to. But in reality, if you make small changes that don´t really hurt - like going for a short walk before bed every night or having only one sweet treat every day instead of something with your coffee AND a dessert every night if that´s what you´re doing - you get used to them and you may find more small changes that don´t hurt either but will get you closer to your goal.

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I always struggled to stick with diets, short term losses with longer term gains when I "fell off the wagon". I've stopped considering myself on a diet, i am now trying to have a healthy lifestyle. I did have to completely cut out chocolate, but other than that I have moved to having a proper breakfast, taking food with me to work and having a home cooked (not processed ready meal) for tea (even if that was cooked earlier and defrosted/reheated that night). While the scales may be slow at reducing (for me about half a stone a month) - I am constantly feeling the benefits - I have dropped dress sizes, I don't get out of breath as much, I have fewer headaches and sleep better. That keeps me motivated and keeping with it. You need to remind yourself why you want this, and make small incremental changes through time that will help you get there.

Good luck on your journey, I hope you find what works for you. 🙂

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Wow you have had some amazing steady weightlosses & lifestyle changes welldone - I wish I could too 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Thank you, there is no reason why you can’t. Lots of small changes add up. What is stopping you? 🙂

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I am trying but am not consistent. To lose 1/2 stone a month would be amazing & the motivation would keep me going. I have a goal to lose weight for my wedding in August & for a lifetime. I have been overweight since 5 & hospitalised at 12 for 6 weeks to lose weight. I count calories & am obsessed. Am always searching fo the right diet & I know one size/plan does not fit all! I believe in input over output but I do wonder if my age/metabolism hinders me?! Lots of people reccommemd different things on here & I get confused so I try one, then another. LCHF sounds good, IF can work but sometimes I want breakfast and we end up eating late as busy etc / life! My weight loss since January has been 4lbs. I have been at WW from 16 - I am now 60! Last year i decided to switch to calories so I roughly know what I’m eating. I cook from scratch & I am a foodie & love food & love cooking. I socialise a fair amount & aim to make wise choices which I manage to make mostly. I struggle not to have wine with my food (weekends) if those around me do. I am happy in my life, family, partner but not myself & food issues/weight - this is like a self confession/councelling! 😌

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It is about finding what works for you, simple and flexible works for me. I calorie count - and if I want a costa or wine on a weekend I build it into my days plan. I have found there is only short term wins in a diet - so I have changed my entire mindset. Nothing is not allowed, I just plan for what I want, and eat better the other days. I have tried to minimise carbs and eat nothing low fat, but I'm not really doing a proper LCHF diet. I have taken small bits from everyones recommendations and combined them into a plan for me.

Have you got your calorie allowance from the NHS website? I always used to eat too little when I dieted. Getting my allowance right was the biggest change I made from the support on the website.

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Thanks for you tips & it all sounds good to me & realistic -.confirms my own thoughts. My range is 1600 / 2000 but if I go to higher my weight loss is slow or not at all 😌

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Its higher than mine - I'm only 5ft2 so try to stick to the middle of my range which is about 1500-1600. I also add in a couple of swims a week which helps - I'm more of a slow and steady swimmer and built up in distance. Good luck. 🙂

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I know exactly what you mean, I have previously dieted with no patience at all, I would go to WW and be told what my target weight was, then I would hardly eat to get down to the target once reached I would stop going and go back to my eating habits and quickly put the weight back on and more, and something has clicked this time to tell me I can't keep doing it, am I finding it hard this time?, not at first, but because my weight has stayed the same last week I have felt a little fed up as the weeks gone on! but I am going to stick with it and see what this week brings, I am having breakfast lunch and tea which I haven't done with past diets, I have cut biscuits cakes and my evening alcohol out but I do know if I go out or have visitors I will have a glass of wine so I'm not depriving myself really, I am doing a managable 30 + minute walk every evening, all of the above is sustainable unlike the quick fix starving to lose weight, plus finding this forum has really helped, sometimes I come on here like tonight and see we are all wanting to lose weight properly this time, some very good advice is given when needed and excellent emotional support with some of the things I have read~

Give it a try this time may be the right time ;)

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Well done with your brilliant weightlosses & mindset - you pattern sounds a lot like mine but I’m not losing weight because I’m not consistent 😌

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It's a new mindset that you need to focus on! As others have said... This isn't like most goals in life. Usually it's "if I save X amount I can buy a car" "if I train really hard for 12 weeks I can do a race for Life" "if I follow the 6 week drop-a-dress-size diet I will feel and look great on my upcoming holiday".

All these types of goal have an end in sight and you like to focus and "win" whatever you set your mind to. Which is a great thing! I like planning and it was only because of my drive that I achieved my goals in life (car, marriage, children, savings, holidays, moving out of mum's) and ultimately my ex-husband's lack of drive that broke us up.

But I've very recently come to the realisation that for real meaningful weight loss it is different. There really is not a finishing line. Sure you will have a weight goal and racing to reach it is fab and obviously we all want to "hurry up" and get there. But the journey there is important because it's the (slower) journey that will change you and make the process something permanent. It's certainly not easy. I still get disappointed if I don't lose 2lbs a week. And it's hard to keep being committed when there isn't a "goal reached. Go back to normal" button at the theoretical "end" of this. And that's because whatever you do has to BECOME your new normal.

It doesn't mean you can't work harder in the beginning but you need to have a realistic idea of how things are going to be .... Forever.

For instance... Right now I exercise twice every day. I aim for a 500 calorie burn. And I count calories daily and stay at the lower end of my "allowance". Two days a week I cut more so I can have a bit extra on the weekends. It IS a bit hectic but I want to reach my healthy weight. However once I get to that weight I know that I am still going to exercise but I should be fine to do it like 4 times a week instead. And I will not have to count calories as by then I should have a good idea of "good" and "bad" meals and what portion sizes I should eat and I should be able to "fast" (have a very low calorie day) once a week. This should be enough to maintain. Obviously it might need tweaking once I get there. But the important thing is to look ahead like this and know it's a long long game this one!

This is also why the journey is so important as the HOW you do it must work for you. It must be a lifestyle you can do and not feel like you can't wait to stop.

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I agree. For me, taking it slowly meant my thinking could keep up and develop over time.

I was very happy to lose a stone on the 12 week plan. When I started, I would have been very happy to lose a stone and keep it off but once I got there, I knew I could go further. And then I started paying much more attention to what I was eating, rather than how much, with the help of so many wise and knowledgeable people around the forum. Now I eat very differently than I did and enjoy it so much :)

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Yes! From past attempts at dieting I found saying I couldn't have anything nice for X amount of time got my inner rebellious self kicking against being told what I couldn't have! But this time I started with low calories (500) twice a week but totally normal (bad) foods the rest of the time. Then I cut Pepsi and coke out my diet. Then I started tweaking my fast days so I could feel fuller on a better choice of foods. Then I started exercising. Which then starts making you want healthier things and look at what I'm eating every day.

It's all been a very gradual process! But if someone said "right no more Pepsi, change all your usual foods, go out and exercise blah blah" all in one go I would never have done it!

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I should add this also why I still incorporate chocolate and ice cream and "nice treats" into my diet. Because it is long term it's best not to deprive yourself of things you want, need or love!

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I agree about not feeling deprived, but I do wonder about the word "treat". By definition, a treat is something exceptional, something out of the ordinary. Once it becomes an everyday, or near everyday, thing, I think it's best to see it as a part of our main diet and not as the lovely extra which is probably its rightful place.

Alternatively, we can try out different foods and recipes until our meals become a "treat" in the other way that word is used, as something tasty, enjoyable and to be looked forward to, so we don't just see chocolate or ice cream or whatever in that way

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It's not really a journey with a destination, since when you've reached your 'ideal' weight, you still need to maintain it. So, the important thing is to enjoy what you eat, whether losing weight or aiming to maintain.

There is no point in cutting back further and further until, starving, you eventually revert. To stop you reaching a plateau whilst 'dieting' on such low calories, allow yourself to maintain at a new weight for a week or so after each month of weight loss. This is best achieved by upping your natural fat intake to replace the proportion of body-fat you've been burning.

IMHO, most of our calories should come from natural fat because it is the least reactive. Carbohydrate stimulates insulin the most, and protein stimulates TOR; both age us prematurely.

Enjoy, eating as we're designed to do.

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What’ s IMHO? 🤔

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In my honest opinion I think :)

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I am very like you. In fact I have bipolar so it is so easy to go all in and then crash out a few weeks later.

I am stable meds-wise at the moment, but I am also forcing myself to think ‘this is the heaviest I’ll ever be again’ every time I weigh myself.

Say that to yourself; it’s really quite powerful.

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Hello, abbyzeeble, and welcome to the forum :)

This welcome pack explains how the forum work and how to find your way around healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Our chat thread is open daily and includes a list of all the activities you can get involved in healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

I would recommend joining a weekly weigh in on the day of your choice, and have a look at the Daily Diary where members log their meal plans.

Wishing you success :)

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Thank you very much!

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You're welcome :) Take your time exploring and get involved as much as you can

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I really want to thank everyone for taking the time out to respond to me!! 😊 Here's the problem too. -I KNOW it's a lifestyle change. I know i have to change the way I eat for the rest of my life. I can't accept that. I just can't. I think because I was not always heavy. So when i was young, I could eat anything i wanted and not get over 110 pounds. But after i had my daughter, at 31, things changed. So here i am-MANY years later and in the same boat, because well, I want what I want. Sounds childish, and yes-it is. 🙄 To Abbyzeeble-so weird that you mentioned that line-about weighing myself and thinking this is the heaviest I will ever be again. Just 2 nights ago, I was watching " Family by the ton" and one very large man said that. "CLICK"!!! It IS a very powerful.statement. So I know that that will help me out, but still......it's like I'm OBSESSED with the weight. I live a full life-I work.full time, I have 3 dogs, I see my daughter frequently, but it's like nothing else matters but the number on that scale. If i wake up, weigh myself and am not happy with that number, the rest of the day is shot to hell!! It puts me in such a horrible, depressed mood. And YET I still have not figured out or am too stubborn to do this whole journey the RIGHT way. I just don't know anymore. Sometimes I have to wonder if I am sabotaging myself, without really realizing why. So now my goal is to have all this weight off by mid May. We'll see.🙄 And once again, thank you to all you amazing people, with your wonderful advice, who have this whole mess figured out!! 😀

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I was exactly the same! Everyone used to comment on how I could eat like a horse and never put weight on! I was fine until I had children. I don't know WTH happens after that! But with my first pregnancy I took advantage of the "you can eat for two" and got massive! And it took me years to get rid of it. Then I had my second child and a terrible stressful relationship and I wasn't working so I comfort eated to my biggest size.

As I am very fussy.... Dislike probably 80% of foods that are healthy... I thought I could never diet, lose weight and be happy. I very almost gave up and was going to decide to just say stuff it and rather be fat and happy! But my breathing was getting difficult and I hated catching sight of myself in reflections or mirrors.

An old lady in her 80's told me about the 5:2 diet and was losing weight on it herself. She is wheelchair bound and cannot exercise. The great thing about it is that you can still eat what you want. But two days a week only 500 calories. On your other days you eat normal. Doesn't matter if normal for you is Burger King and chocolate cake!

This really appealed as it didn't feel like a diet. I could still enjoy all the "bad" food and just had to be strong two days a week. Which is not easy but knowing you can get up in the morning and eat again helps.

I lost a stone doing this. And somehow it starts changing how you view food and in the beginning you might binge a little after your fast day but you start feeling less hungry and start looking for better calorie foods that can make you feel more full.

The weight loss stopped after that stone and like you I jump on the scales daily and feel disheartened if I don't lose weight. So someone else mentioned the Couch 2 5k and I started it but got injured. However instead of running I continued to brisk walk everyday. The fresh air and exercise felt great! And the weight began shifting incredibly fast! Eventually I went back to the C25K and have graduated (can now run three times a week for 30 mins). And like with the 5:2 ... It began changing my mindset and I have added different exercises. As I exercise so much now I allow myself 800 calories on my fast days instead of 500.

I still eat chocolate every day. I still have take aways, pancakes, crisps and ice cream (33g = 1 scoop and about 53 calories). I eat chips most days and only like beans or peas as a side. I have lost 2 more stone since November.

So my point is.... Your not alone in how you feel. But you can lose weight without having to do it "the RIGHT way". And we are definitely not people who have this "whole mess figured out" ... I haven't figured out how to get over not weighing daily nor how to stop the mood when the scales stay the same. But that's why most of us come here! To get answers or draw strength or just to have a good moan!

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I've actually been thinking about this all day. You say that 2 days a week you eat 500 calories a day, and the other 5 days, you eat "normal". What exactly does " normal" mean? Up to how many calories? I've googled this but it didn't give much information. This sounds like something that is VERY doable for me! But I want to understand what " normal" means. UP TO how many calories per day? Can you share more of your experience with this diet? I'd greatly appreciate it! 😊

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Heya. Sorry for late reply. Is half term! Plus looking after my mum's dogs and still having to go work this week!

Anyways... At least to begin with normal means exactly that. Whatever or however you eat right now you can continue to do. So "normal" for an unhealthy person might mean a cooked breakfast in the morning, burger king for lunch and a big curry dinner finished off with popcorn, crisps and chocolate for evening snacks. Even though that is a terrible diet if that is normal for you then cutting on the two days will still drastically cut your intake.

If you look at it in numbers (I like number crunching)... Suppose you eat 3000 calories a day without realising it. That is 21,000 calories a week. By having 500 calories two days a week you are cuttng 5000 calories a week whilst still eating all that "junk" the other days.

This is what I love about 5:2. It doesn't feel like a diet and it is way easier to "be strong" two days - usually a Monday and a Thursday. It's not easy ... But it's easier. Knowing you can be "normal" in the morning. I try to keep busy and go to bed early on my fast days.

Now... Before anyone has a fit over saying it's ok to eat junk.... Eventually this will have to change. But as you lose weight without changing drastically you will find yourself naturally wanting to have less junk and not eating EVERYtime you think you want food on your fast days actually starts teaching you the difference between real hunger and boredom-hunger or thirst-hunger or habit-hunger so on your "normal" days you just naturally start not wanting so much food.

And yes eventually to continue losing weight you might have to start changing what you eat or how much or calorie count on your normal days. But that's all future talk! If your normal days are not so bad (ie unlike me you actually like vegetables) you might find just doing the 5:2 is enough. I started counting calories as my weight loss stopped after 14lbs and I wanted to know why. I found my weekends were much too high in calories as I cook bigger family meals like Roast dinner and Spaghetti Bolognese and then used to have an evening meal too! Which I've now cut out and replaced with a lower calorie snack like cheese and onion toastie (half fat cheese 20g onion 10g and a slice of milk roll = 99 calories and is super tasty).

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Oh and btw ... There is a support group for 5:2 on Facebook with members posting loads of low calorie meal ideas.

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Thank you! I don't use Facebook, but that's ok. See now THAT is something that is DEFINITELY doable for me! I KNOW i can do the 500 calories only 2 days a week because just last year i got down to only 600 calories, EVERY DAY. Needless to say, that didn't work.😣 So I'd like to know how many pounds you lost per week doing the 5:2 diet? Of course, your results would be different than mine anyway, because we are not eating the same amount of calories as each other or getting the same amount of exercise.

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I lost 4lb the first week ... Which is pretty normal to lose more in the first week of any diet. Then it was 1lbs and 2lbs but then after I lost 14lbs I wouldn't lose and I'd get angry because I had put the effort in and my will was weak the next fast day and I'd end up putting lbs back on. Then giving up. Then going back on it and it would work but only to that one point on the scale again. Now... If I had counted my calories on my normal days or been a bit more careful or just stuck with it through the no-weight-loss week I might have still lost weight. But if I don't get a result on the scale it puts my willpower down to zero. It's only since November when I added exercise - 30 mins walking after work a day and twice on weekends - that my weight loss accelerated. It's been 4lbs, 2lbs and 3lbs a week losses with some 1lbs recently but I've now lossed an additional 27lbs on top of the original 14lbs. Since November. And as I've said before I eat chocolate and crisps, crumpets and cherry scones every day! And have take away about once every two or three weeks.

For the 500 days I used to have a smoothie 750ml bottle and make it last all day and a crumpet for something solid. Then I went to: crumpet with half teaspoon of butter (108 calories) for breakfast. Crumpet and half tin of tomato soup (108 + 115) around 4pm. Then a packet of crisps (79 to 97 calories) and twirl chocolate one finger (90 calories) about 7pm. Total 500.

I've found lots of other combos now too. Tesco does a fab carbonara for only 323 calories! It depends if you prefer to graze little and often or fast all day but finish with one meal?

It's totally adaptable to your preference. You could start with 600 and see how that goes. And I'm guessing from your previous experience you already got a good idea of meals or treats to reach that target. I've no idea how you managed it daily! It was bound to drive you crazy eventually and is definitely not good for the body - which needs 1300 or so calories just for normal heart and blood etc functions. But it shows you are very strong willed and I think you will manage this more manageable version easily!

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Wow!! That's A LOT OF WEIGHT to be down!! Congratulations! Well done!!👏 I was only able to do the 600 calories a day because I had a strong motivation. It was killing me, but I was highly motivated. When i lost my motivation, that's when I said-"F--- it!! I'm starving!! I'm eating"!! Sigh.......😣 This 5:2 diet MIGHT get me in trouble though, now that I think of it. I know myself. If I'm going to be practically starving 2 days a week, my mind is going to say-"Let's have a party""!! on the days I can eat what I want. But I'm going to see. This is all something new to me!! I had never heard of this before! I wish you continued success on your weight loss journey!!

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It was - is - a life changer for me! And I used to do that right at the beginning... The "let's have a party" the next day. But it's ok. It's expected. Then a few weeks in I would go to bed hungry and feel like "I can't wait to eat in the morning!" But then when morning came found I wasn't even hungry anymore! It's hard to explain .. but somehow it changes you.

If you can find it somewhere, Michael Mosley made a BBC documentary about 5:2 and intermittent fasting which is a great motivator to get started on. You might find pieces on YouTube from him about it too. He explains the scientific stuff and trials it. The results are quite astounding!

It's said that when you fast your body can have a rest from processing food all the time and can use energy repairing the body etc. And weirdly I find my energy levels increase on a fast day! I don't know if that's just because I want to keep busier? Or sometimes I like to think of it in evolutionary terms... In cavemen days you wouldn't get to eat a big meal everyday. But you need energy to catch your next big meal! So when you haven't eaten you have energy (to get food) whereas when you do eat you get tired! Well, I definitely find I feel slumped after a meal compared to before!

When I work out I always make sure it's before my food times... So in a way the food is the reward for the energy I just used! I know food shouldn't really be a reward and I don't reward weight loss with food.... My reward for that tends to be to buy a new tune to add to my workout playlist... But it's like, if it's getting towards evening and I really should burn 200 calories on the treadmill then instead of going oh I don't feel like it, it's late and I got other things I need to do, it is ... if I want my dinner then I MUST do this first!! Lol

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That's a great way to think about it!! Later tonight, if I get a chance, I will look for it on Youtube. I'm sure it's there. Thank you!

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I reviewed the 5:2 Diet here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

I like this way of eating too, and find the lower calorie day’s seem to re-set my appetite. ‘Normal’ eating is a very vague concept though. As CrimsonMama says, I find I still need to to watch it but this way of eating (also called calorie cycling) allows me to have all my favourites and keep the overall calories down.

However, I think this works for me as I’ve got used to significantly less food, and much lower carbohydrates.

Good luck 😊

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Thank you! And I agree-"normal" eating is a very vague concept.

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So much of the whole weight loss journey is in your head, I know I wouldn't have got this far unless my head was in the right place. But you only have a stone and half to lose, it's possible to lose that quickly, whether or not it's sustainable is another thing. Giving your body good food to fuel it is a form of self respect, and your body will thank you for it. Making a list of why you want to lose weight also helps a lot of us. I hope you find a way that works for you 😊

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We have all been there you are no different. Make time for yourself, I appreciate it’s hard working and having a family. However no one can do it for you. All you need to do is eat food which is going to sustain you from one meal to the next. That is eat proper food, not junk or fizz. It’s not difficult. What is difficult is negotiating the supermarkets offers. I shop in a foodhall, have done for years. I know what I want and never become sidetracked. However on the odd occasion I visit a supermarket, I am bowled over with the range and variety of junk processed ‘****’ they are selling. And if you think of nothing else think of the environment, surely it can’t be necessary for all that packaging.

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I replied to you earlier but have since just seen your more recent comment about scales.

My advice would be get rid of the scales. Seriously, it seems scales aren't helping you one bit at the present time. Get yourself a tape measure or a tight fitting garment and use body shape as your guide, not weight. But also you still have to want to improve your eating habits.

As someone else here said: " if you just keep doing the same old then you can only expect same old outcome " . KEY WORD IS CHANGE nothing happens by magic.

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Don't get on the scales too often then you set yourself up for a bad day. Just weigh once a week. Listen to what everyone else said and best of luck

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I can make a suggestion Downandout123 but you need to look into it yourself and make sure you consider all angles, perhaps get a doc's approval maybe particularly if you have any health issues, and proceed with caution - the 5.2 diet. It works for people like you and I who have immense will power in the short term and a lot less in the long term. For 2 days a week you eat like a bird, extremely little, and for 5 you eat like normal. You'll do your reducing of cals in one fell swoop instead of in every meal. It feels more natural to me and MUCH more manageable. And the losses are good too. I've changed a lot of things about the way I eat and the way I see my body and my food now, so don't think you'll come out the end and be nice and slim forever unless you make long term changes too. That said I don't see why I won't take this 5.2 approach with me forever. Give it some thought.

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Good idea HappyBeee !

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Once heard this what is the hight of insanity doing the same thing over again and expecting a different outcome human nature we all suffer with this if you can look at foods that help cleanse your liver and drink plenty of lemon water good luck.

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Hello, robert1957. Are you aiming to lose weight and wanting to join the forum or are you just visiting to offer support? You are very welcome, either way :)

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Thank you yes I have health issues I am working through also getting to a healthy weight is another goal I would like to get to

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Sorry, robert1957, I only just saw your reply :)

This welcome pack explains how the forum works and how to find your way around healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Get involved as much as you can: no need to post, just come here often, read posts, join in conversations, support others. I would particularly recommend joining a weekly weigh in on the day of your choice. You might also like to use the Daily Diary for help with planning your meals.

Wishing you every success in managing your health concerns and reaching your goals :)

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I lost weight and was down to a slim, size 14. I gained weight due to medication and was an uncomfortable size 18. I no longer use the medication and am counting calories and lost nearly 3 kilos in 2 weeks. My incentive is all the size 14 clothes that I own, looked great in and want to wear again, especially as its going to cost a fortune to replace them. If you can find an incentive and set a SMART plan then it may be a little easier to appreciate the weekly weight loss. Rome wasn't built in a day. Your body is your Temple. It will be worth it.

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Hi - I've been reading all the replies to your post and everyone wants to support you.

Take encouragement from these. Remember the saying Rome wasn't built in a day.

I found that strict diet does not work. You need to eat more sensibly and excercise more. Even 10 minute walk every day will help. I joined a football thing and got encouraged by fellow players who were in same boat. Perhaps you can find something you enjoy doing which will get you out excercising.

One tip which helps which no one seems to have mentioned. Drink at least 2 litres cold water every day. That helps weight loss in several ways. Try it.

But don't give up.

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"So my question is-HOW in the world do you all stay so patient and endure the diet without getting in a horrible mood,...."

ENDURE?

The mistake you might be making is to think of dieting as a punishment and something to endure until you get back to the 'normal' eating pattern that got you overweight in the first place!

I think of it as a healthy lifestyle. I eat plenty of nourishing food to promote health in my body, and I exercise cos I love being out in the fresh air or water, and it's so good for my physical and emotional life.

Can you change your mindset?

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I agree to me the word diet has negative connotations-it represents denial of food I like, so I have always been anti-diet because of that. I find calorie counting works for me since I can eat what I like in moderation as long as I maintain my allowance, so it hasn't meant a drastic change in my eating habits- it just means reviewing portion sizes but also ensure that I don't eat 2-3 high calorie meals in one day and then 2-3 low calories meals another so my body doesn't know whether its being over fed or starved! It is just finding what you can accept and maintain in the long term. We have all got here by trial and error and still make mistakes- last night I give in and ate a large packet of crisps- not in my allowance and last week I ate a chocolate Easter egg meant for my friend's son! We all fall off the wagon so to speak at some stage even those of us that have been loosing or maintaining weight for years. Its just trying to think what set us off and think of ways to avoid it in the future. Good luck in whatever you decide to do and hopefully you will continue participating on the forum

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Yes RG it's all about learning and being willing to make mistakes. Trial and error and knowing that what worked 10 years ago might not work now. I find that I can stay mostly on course by keeping my health front and center.

I'm lucky that I enjoy food and have family and friends to enjoy it with.

I'm also lucky to have the use of my body so evercise is a pleasure.

Best wishes to you ♥️

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You have some brilliant replies here from BridgeGirl and others , I don't think I can add anything much. All I can say is that you really need to know the reason why you want to lose weight. That sounds obvious, but actually it is not just as simple as saying: "To be a size 10 would be nice but actually I'm sort of ok as a 14" , because that aim is not solid enough.

In my opinion we do better if we have a bigger reason, to do with our longterm health or mobility, that gives us the wake up call.

But as others have said, if you engage more fully on here and help a few other souls along the way, that might just be the motivation you need to keep at it.

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So true

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Stop calling it a diet and stay off the scales for about a month . Simply plan and shop . Everyone knows what they need to cut down on . Reduce portions . Have half a bar of chocolate or lower fat crisps and don't punish yourself . Don't bother about the odd binge day and think you are in control of your food and not the reverse .

I started off by a very strict 1250 cals and was logging in all I ate on Myfitnesspal . It certainly worked as I lost 10lb in a month but it was driving me mad . I couldn't even eat a tin of spaghetti without it being over the sugar limit and my favourite canned soups were my limit on certain macros for the day .

Try a different approach . I hate the actual gym but love Zumba and clubbercise . A gentle swim also stops me eating and I have food ready for when I return home . You have dogs so no excuse for not walking .

Now I have lost weight I won't go back . All the effort that isn't effort anymore .

My badge still says 15kg lost but I have actually lost 19kg if I can be bothered jumping on the scales . To buy size 12 shorts and look decent in them .....says it all .

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Fantastic . Very well done 👏

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Don't worry I am like you never successful in losing weight.

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What's important though is that you've never given up on yourself. You're always worth another go... Always be open to a new approach...

Maybe life is all about constant renewal.....

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I know I’m new to this, but I keep a mental recent beach photo of myself. yuk! and visualise how I want to be to keep me motivated.

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Good luck you can do it.

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My daughter has said to me weighing myself is just a number on the scales so don't use that as your measure of health. I think about how I am feeling. Having been eating healthily and exercising more for about a month I feel so much better in myself. My mood has lifted even though we are going through a major life crisis. My body feels physically bettter too so I know it's not just about weight (that number on the scales). It's about me as a whole person not just my body.

I really hope something falls into place for you. 😊

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I sure hope you all get to see this. I'm not on here often, and sometimes I miss something that has been written. I am overwhelmed and VERY THANKFUL for the amount of heartfelt responses from all of you! ❤ You all have FINALLY made something click for me inside this very stubborn brain. I can take pieces from each of your replies and apply it. I am FINALLY getting that this is more a lifestyle change, and although I am hating that idea, it is what it is. I HAVE DECIDED that there are certain foods that I will.stay away from forever.( but that's OK. I can do that). But I realize that I still can eat my favorites-all in moderation. But yes-I DO have to start eating healthier foods and change the way I think. Now I KNOW i can do this!!! There's NO turning back now!!! Summer is right around the corner, and I WILL be able to wear all the dresses in my closet that I haven't worn in years! It's time to develop a positive attitude! I dont know WHY i have let.food take control of me, instead of me taking control of IT!! I am a strong willed and stubborn person in every aspect of my life, yet I let food get a hold of me and take me down?? NO MORE!!! I GOT THIS!!! 😊😀😁😄 I CANNOT thank all of you enough! Please know that I read and re-read every reply, and will.continue to do so every day to stay motivated!! THANKS AGAIN TO ALL OF YOU AMAZING PEOPLE!! ❤

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Brilliant . The word you use - moderation is easier than most anticipate . Weight loss is a massive business and some are cruelly coaxed in the direction that dieting / slimming are the only way . I haven't banned anything but as I have been more mindful of what I eat I find certain foods sweeter , greasier and heavier than I did before . If I fancy something rich , sweet etc I eat less of it or watch what I eat before / after it . Mentally it has given me confidence . That has made me change jobs , be happier , shop for colourful clothes that I actually like . There are so many rewards .

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What you do now will need to be sustainable for you to keep up FOREVER! There is no point starving yourself, you can't keep that up and it also isn't healthy.

Rather than viewing this as for weight loss, view it as for a healthier you! Undereating, just like overeating, isn't healthy.

Stop concentrating on the scales and the numbers. Maybe even hide them a month or so if you need to.

This is all about changing your mindset and learning how to nourish your body. You body deserves to eat the best food full of nutrients. Respect your body and give it what it needs.

I have stopped focusing so much on 'weight' and have turned my attention to being healthy. That means that I eat some foods which I would never eat if focusing only on weight because they have a lot of calories (nuts, avocado, olive oil...), but these are all healthy in small amounts. I have completely changed the way I think. I know I can go out with friends (like I did last night), have 2 gin and tonics, a glass of wine, pasta and share a chocolate brownie and ice cream (that was my night last night)...and know that it's ok and I can eat all that guilt free because today I will get straight back onto eating 'normally'. I haven't starved myself or thought 'f*uck it, might as well give up'....I have woken up, had some porridge with banana, then a yoghurt with strawberries and honey, then noodles and veg for lunch.....

You can do this! This isn't a race. Stop focusing on your weight and focus on being healthy. Your body will thank you for it. I have so much more energy than I have ever had in my life, my skin looks good, my hair looks good.....you will glow and look amazing in more ways than just slimmer, and those benefits started after week 1 for me :-)

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Ha--I think one of the reasons a keto diet worked so well for me was because it was very black and white. I'd been doing "lowish carb" "less of this or that" "moderation" for years, but drawing a line was always hard.

"...just a tiny taste of dessert..." and it always, always turned into more than I meant it to...

Now it's easy. As much quantity as I want of the foods on my list, but absolutely zero of certain things. Not even a taste. I know that wouldn't work for everyone, but it's so much simpler for me. And I only keep the foods I'm allowed in my house!

But yes I agree...what you pick is a lifestyle, NOT a short term diet.

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Very pleased to hear we've all been of some help and I look forward to reading your updates, if you choose to share them ( no obligation, but it can help)

If you wish to read how we others coped with our journeys, just click on our profile names and you can access previous posts etc , going back a few years. 😊

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Hi Downanout123 I too know how you feel can I ask what is your weight in kg? I’m 84 kg and need to be 67 kg I’m 5 7 inches and been told eating as much as I can green vegetables will help me lose weight as there are minamil calories in them or make a smoothie with green veges red berries bananas and my dr said can use the veges at supermarkets in bags a little of everything. I said I don’t like it he said your not surpose to like it lol.

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"You're not supposed to like it". Priceless!! So let's see-Right now I'm 150 pounds, so I did my googling and that translates to 68 kg. I want to get down to 125 pounds, which is 56 kg. I swear I don't know HOW you guys use stones and kgs!! Lol

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We use kg lol thank you, I’m in constant neropathic pain with bulging discs with my back injury from work.

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Oh no. Sorry to hear that. ☹ I'm sure that makes sticking to a food plan way harder. I know it would for me. I hope you reach your goal quickly, and hopefully your back will feel a bit better then.

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Hi and welcome Downandout123,

I am one of the patient plodders, losing on average 1.5 kg, a bit more than 3 lb.

I started 14 months ago and have list around 22 kg. Another 10-14 kg to go...

The thing is, I don't feel like I am dieting.

I eat anything I like, but only about 80% of what I used to to feel full. 80% full means I am never hungry. I have a good breakfast and two more meals plus a lot of water or herbal tea or other non-calorie drink. The other thing I try to keep to (unless I go out) is to have my last meal around 6pm. If I feel toooo hungry or peckish, I allow myself an exception. Then I call it a treat which I have deserved. No bad conscience. That way I can believe in it as a lifetime change. I am in charge. I benefit. I don't stress myself. If my weight doesn't budge for a few weeks that's ok. I've learnt that it will drop in time. I have a goal, healthy BMI by summer, dream weight by Christmas. If it takes longer, who cares? It's going in the right direction. I'm 57 and hope to have a lot of good years ahead of me. The loss will probably slow down the closer I get to my ideal weight. I'm quite convinced that my 80% full will be 100% full by then.

Well done for starting a new way. Lifelong seems great when you feel great with it. All the best of luck!

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Hi Downandout123 - yup, I too was in that cycle!

For the longer term, you need to think about it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. That lifestyle change will need to happen a bit at a time and will involve many things : changing your behaviour around food, portion control, emotional eating triggers, increasing your activity levels, trying new foods, making healthy food swaps, etc.

Commitment to diet/lifestyle change and resistance to temptation doesn't just happen! It has to be worked at.

The only way I have succeeded this time is to change how I approach food and eating it. I have learned to resist temptation! BUT please believe that this has taken a LOT of hard work and practice. 

It's about "normalising" or "modifying" behaviour around food... and I think that with enough "practice" it becomes more and more easy until you get to the point where a behaviour is modified to the point of it becoming the only way.

I am sure that even some people who are not over weight do sometimes over indulge - but the fact is they don't do it very often...

Those of us who are over weight have been used to "treating" ourselves, eating portions that are too large, eating the things that we know are calorific because we can!

It's been a combination of changing all of those aspects of how I behave around food that has meant I have been successful this time.

I have developed a respect for the food I eat. Not everyone has the ability to eat as well as we in the western world eat. We should not abuse the privilege.

I rarely eat "on the hoof" any more, I rarely eat between meals. I take time to sit at a table and present my meals nicely. I take a moment or two to really look at my plate of food before I pick up my knife and fork.

Almost daily I say to hubbie "Aren't we lucky to be able to enjoy such lovely food". I really mean that too, I am not saying it for anyones benefit but his and mine. We should never take for granted having easy access to delicious food stuffs and our ability and love of cooking!

If you log your food - keep track of how many calories some of those "treats" contain, after a while they kind of stay in your head (medium egg = 70 cals, slice of white bread 100 cals, meringue nest 57 cals, 30g (matchbox size) of cheddar, 122 cals)

I do have sweet treats, but I buy my own choice, so things like 2 finger Kitkat, single finger Twix, Club biscuit... these are all around 100 calories. I keep them in a tin and I can have one whenever I want to, but I limit it to no more than one a day and usually with my afternoon cup of tea. That's not to say I eat one on a daily basis (usually about 2-3 times a week). They are always logged into my diary.

If you don't keep a log of what you are eating and the calories foods contain, then it's a bit like trying to travel from one place to another without a map! You might get there eventually BUT it's likely to take you much longer than if you planned the route and used a map PLUS you might take a few wrong turnings and end up going back on yourself!

I have also learned not to plan each trip out of the house to include food. Once upon a time, I'd have included lunch with a trip into town, coffee and cake with a visit to the garden centre.

I now plan or even prepare a meal BEFORE I go out (usually a salad) so that I know exactly what I can eat as soon as I walk into the door... and don't turn to "what I fancy" (usually high calorie carbs that don't keep you full for very long...)

Make a list of the reasons WHY you want to lose weight. Keep it somewhere safe (stuck to the inside of a kitchen cupboard door?) and look at it from time to time, especially when you are raiding the kitchen for treats!

I always ask myself before eating something really calorific "Do I really want to eat this thing more than I want to lose weight this week?". It's called "mindful eating" - being aware of why you are considering eating - real hunger? Boredom? Temptation? Feeling fed up?

Have a glass of water, wait 5 minutes and consider whether you still want the food. Once it's been snaffled down, it's too late and you may end up feeling cross and angry with yourself....

....and that feeling (guilt, failure) lasts for a long time, much longer than the temporary enjoyment of whatever treat you ate....

Oh, and I always remind myself how good the feeling is of seeing a loss on the scales at my weekly weigh in! That wonderful feeling lasts for days! Don't forget how that feels - you need to remind yourself of that feeling next time temptation strikes!

I’m healthier and fitter now at the age of 56 than I was 20 years ago…..

I am writing this as someone who had struggled all of my life (since the age of 9) to lose weight. I have a significant disability that affects my mobility - use a wheelchair outside of the house. I am also very short (4ft 8”). It wasn't until the age of 49 when I started to log everything and kept track of the calories I was consuming that the truth hit me between the eyes. I was eating FAR TOO MUCH for a short sedentary person. I changed my whole approach to food and eating it that everything else clicked into place :-)

Just wished I’d found what worked for me years ago.

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Great to see you on the forum pineapple... And always with great advice based on your personal experience. I hope you are well and happy 🌹

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Thank you Pineapple27. I remember you responding to me at least a year ago. I had then seen pictures of you in action at the gym, and was amazed!! You have been a TRUE inspiration for all of us!! Ok, so I'm starting to "GET" all of this, with all of your help!!! Here's another quandary-eating out. 😣 A lot of the times I go out, it involves food. Whether I eat out with my daughter, or go to a meet-up group, or have a date. (.Yeah right)🙄 That's another forum all on its own! Lol So here you are, looking at this big, beautiful menu of all the foods that are SO delicious!! My weakness is Italian food and we all know how calorific that is! I HAVE been VERY good in the past. -Just ordering a big chicken salad, but it's so hard, and frankly-quite BORING to keep.doing that. So rather than stay home and not go, how do you make the best menu choices?? Or-let me rephrase that-I know how to make the best menu choices. The question should be- how do you make the best menu choices and be HAPPY about it?🙄

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Again Downandout123 , that is something that has changed for me. I don't eat out very often now - usually just special occasions. In itself, that is quite nice as it makes it a bit more of an occasion. That isn't going to be a popular choice for many people, but as I am short, sedentary and don't have a lot of weight to lose, I sadly have no choice.

When I was trying to lose weight before, and I hadn't got my head around it, I would often look at the menu - see what choice I "should" make (in terms of fewer calories), and then still end up selecting the thing I "really" wanted often quite calorific! I would also feel I was missing out if everyone was having a dessert, so I'd inevitably cave in and have one too.

Now, I find my mindset has just changed, as well as my palette. I'm not bothered by many of my previous food choices - for example, fish and chips, or a curry with rice and a naan - I simply cannot physically eat that amount of food and I don't like to pay for food and waste it.

I sometimes have 2 x starters.... but usually I would forego a starter in favour of a dessert.

I only have dessert if I see something on the menu I "really" want; again, many of the choices I'd just find too sickly or stodgy. So I'd enjoy a pavlova or a creme brulee - but couldn't eat cheesecake, sticky toffee pudding... I'll often just have a mouthful of the husband's dessert and a nice coffee.

I purposefully choose restaurant which serve higher quality (nicer) food in smaller quantities.

At the end of the day, it is all about my choice. What do I want more - that meal out or to lose weight?

I know I make it all sound so simple... but believe me, the changes didn't happen until well into my weight loss journey. My new "normal" just became my normal "normal"!

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Oh no, no-I had read your journey and you DO NOT make it sound simple. I know it was extremely hard for you. I'm a shortie too, only 5'0, so all that weight goes right to my middle. EVERY POUND shows up on us, whereas it wouldn't on a taller person. May I ask how much you still have to lose? I'm 150 pounds now-aiming for 125. Go ahead-give me your weight in stones-I'll use Miss google to convert it!! Lol I dont know HOW you guys use stones as your form of measurement. Id go out of my mind! I guess you already have figured out- I'm from the U.S.-New York actually. And NO-I DIDN'T vote for Trump!! 🙄😣😂

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I presently weigh 145lbs. At my lightest in 2014 I got to 129lbs. Ideally I'd like to be between 126lbs and 133lbs.

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So you lost 4 stone already!!! That weight goal does not sound too far off!! I wish you continued success!! You have been a great motivator to us all!!

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What a wonderful thread and you generated lots of positive responses and discussion. I hope you found some useful replies.

We're all on your side...

Let us know how you get on in the next few weeks 😎 best wishes to you for your health and happiness

😍

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Thank you so much!

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Hey Downandout123

first of all, please don't be discouraged. I know it can be difficult and it took me over 3 years to loose 30 pounds. It IS hard but it is possible if you set your goals right. Why do you want to loose weight? Is it to be able to spend time with your kids in the park? Have you always wanted to complete a proper hike? Or still have a pair of hot pants from that summer 2 years ago that you just don't want to throw out?

I found goals like that so much more inspiring than the sad little moment of going onto a scale. Because weight fluctuates so greatly, I can fluctuate around 3-4 pounds within one day. and if for whatever reason you don't hit that number you just go "F* it, I am just not destined to be thin". Because that, quite frankly, is nonsense.

Rather than being so fixated on the number (because your worth is not defined by that) try and view your motivation from a different angle. When I started my journey to a healthier lifestyle, my goal was initially just weight weight weight - that was all I ever thought about and it was sooooo depressing.

Then, following a friends recommendation, I joined a couch to 5k program through the NHS and suddenly, my goal changed - I wanted to be able to run 5km. Never ever did I think this would be possible some day. The weight became sort of secondary all of a sudden. By the time I had completed the 3 month training (and did my 5k :) ) I had lost 8 pounds without even focusing so much on the food. Then I thought well, if I can do 5km, maybe I can do 5km in under 30min? Now I can comfortably run 10k, as I just kept resetting little goals.

I also changed my reward structure - before then, loosing weight was ironically rewarded with food - I changed that to things like a new wardrobe, new clothes, a slightly expensive yoga membership that I always wanted.

That being said, what kept me going was to set interim goals. Something I could aspire to in the short term. And suddenly, your facebook reminder will pop up a photo from 3 years ago and you will just think WOW. I did get far.

Lastly the one thing I can recommend is really EDUCATE yourself on nutrition - by that I don't mean diet books or going to an extreme like a keto diet or so, but generally how our body uses proteins, carbs and fats and what a balanced diet should look like - there is loads of free information on the NHS website.

Unfortunately, the answer for long terms success is not very "sexy": moderation, a bit of every food paired with a bit more physical activity.

My favourite dietitian Renee McGregor always says: Imagine food as friends - there are some that you just like spending more time with than others.

Hope this helps!

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Thank you! What an inspiring story!! How about to fit into clothes in my closet from 20, not 2 years ago?? Lol The simple answer is-I HATE the way I look. I CRINGE when i look in the mirror or see my reflection in store mirrors, cars, etc. I am very short-only 5'0, so being 150 pounds is really heavy for me. It is all around my middle. I wear big, long tunics now to cover everything. I want to be able to once again wear a pair of pants with a belt, and with a nice blouse tucked in. Or to look good in the summer in all of my dresses. Thank goodness my weight has not affected my face! My upper body is not heavy at all. It's just all in the middle! Pretty soon, if I don't cut this out, I will be as round as I am tall!.

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Hey there,

I just wanted to add that no matter what we look we should still try to love ourselves. I am sure you are a wonderful, loving person and you deserve to treat yourself with that compassion. At the end of the day the number on the scale is just a number and does not define your worth.

That being said, we need to embrace our bodies and treat them with love and respect. Of course, being overweight does come with risks to health and there is no denying in that. I found that my journey changed when I looked at the successes and started phrasing things differently - you're not a failure for sliding off a food plan, you are a hero for going back on track the next day!

The key for fat-loss is moderate movement and a small calorie deficit. It is ironically a "very simple" formula (which I know it's not ;) )

So make a war plan: it is possible to still loose weight 20 years or 40 years later - by increasing your movement and decreasing your calories a tiny bit at a time. Fewer calories in than out means fatloss.

The major game changer for me was education:

1) understanding how my body uses protein, fat and carbs

2) Understanding that fatloss isn't the same as weight loss. The scale is only an indicator, but we should rather look at how we can minimise the fat rather than the weight alone.

3) BIG ONE: Calculating what my Total Daily Energy Expenditure is (lots of great free calculators online: basically, what your body burns on a day on average considering all possible factors like movement, calories burnt through exercise, normal body functions and digesting food) and try and eat slightly below that. E.g. if my calculator said 2000kcal for maintenance, I would maybe eat 1800-1900 for fat loss. Over a 3 month period, that can be 4-6lbs. Not massive, but SUSTAINABLE and over the course of 6-12 months you will see results.

4) forget crash diets: juice cleanses, Ketogenic, Paleo, are just fuelled by desperation as they promise quick results. you may loose weight through fasting like crazy for a week, but then you will eventually crash, hate it, and the yo-yo effect starts. You need to go to the base layer of your nutrition and sort that out in a way that you can sustain it forever.

5) Making small adjustments. start swapping out high calorie, low nutritional benefits items for "heathier" options . E.g. cooking with yoghurt, cottage cheese or quark instead of double cream for sauces or dips.

6) learn to cook your favourite meals on a healthier version: e.g. I LOOOOVE burgers. I couldn't live without them - but now rather than eating at McDonalds or at a chippy takeaway, I make my own turkey burgers every week, use only a bit of low fat cheese, and maybe a brown roll. I top it with some grilled peppers & onions instead of burger sauce, and add lots of volume by adding veggies that I like to it. My taste buds have become so used to this, I now actually find chippy burgers quite disgusting - super salty and flavourless!

7) non-starchy VEGGIES: they were absolute key - super important for nutrition, micro and macro nutrients, but also they are usually great volume/low cal foods.

I use them to buffer up everything: e.g. when making pasta, if I am used to use e.g. 200g of pasta, I will maybe use 100g-150 of pasta now and add some spiralled butternut squash or courgette or mushrooms into it. I am not completely eliminating the pasta - just reducing its quantity and replace some of it with more veg. You still gotta enjoy what you eat and get the full satisfaction level. And I mix things up - lots of different veggies, so that I don't get bored.

8) What was a huge eye opener for me was when I first downloaded the free app MyFitnessPal which helped me track my calories. I typed in EVERYTHING I ate, every biscuit, every latte macchiato, every free office snack here and there. It was crazy when I discovered the amount of calories in things like a tbsp. of oil (120kcal - the same as a huge apple) and I made some adjustments (e.g. using cooking spray for most cooking, starting to make things in the oven rather than frying them and use good quality olive oil in small quantities).

9) the grand scheme of things: everyone has their "bad days". everyone has their days when they have a spontaneous dinner and just feast. don't let those days beat you up - you need to indulge every now and then. In the grand scheme of things, that one birthday party or 3 days of eating crap over Christmas will NOT affect the 350 other days of the year. If you eat well 80-90% of the time, the rest of it you can allow yourself what you want. Moderation is the key, and not letting an event give you up on your long term goal.

I hope this helps, I really went into a bit of detail, sorry :D

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No need to apologize!! I REALLY appreciate all of your knowledge and advice!!

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You sound just like me am 5’ & middle/ bottom heavy too. Thanks for posting this thread has inspired me to read on! 😆

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Hi Downandout123

You already have some wise ideas and suggestions from the lovely people here. so I will add a very small tip from my experience :)

I'm also someone like an all or nothing type of person. I too set long term goals and restricted my calories crazy low. Went sick. Then listened to the good advice from people here and started to think about the slow pace. Slow go can never go wrong!!

Set Mini Goals! Focus on how you can do it the next day. Then try to maintain it for another 2 days. Then look for a week. If you think 5:2 suits you best, stick to that but start slowly. If you break it, never mind, start over! :)

The last thing is be happy with whatever the result you gain. But try how to improve it next time! :) Good Luck. Keep in touch! xo

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Thank you! I definitely will!!

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This is the most inspiring thread I have read in a while.

Thanks to you, Downandout, for asking for support and thanks to all the lovely forumsters who rallied around you to help💕💕💕

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I couldn't agree with you more Pippi!! The outpouring of great advice and great hearts is truly inspiring!! I CANNOT thank all of you enough!! I think it all FINALLYYYYYYY "CLICKED"!!!!! I will definitely keep you all updated!!

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The biggest issue with delaying weight loss is that we really do underestimate the value & feeling we get from becoming our best selves. When you begin working on being healthier & losing the weight,if f the process is not enjoyable and you begin overrestricting, you will feel like you are punishing yourself & you won’t be able to continue. The process HAS to feel like you are “rewarding yourself” with healthy foods- splurge on already cut up pineapple if that’s what you like, or ready to eat pre-washed veggies if that’s your thing. Healthy doesn’t have to equal tasteless/ buying an air fryer was a game changer for me. Also buying new workout shoes & feeling my best when I work out, getting my nails done when I hit a milestone weight-wise, all of these non-food rewards encourage me to keep going. I have lost almost 100 pounds now, slowly & steadily. I also listen to motivating podcasts. “Why’s Advice” by Fatdag is wonderful. We all struggle with motivation. It’s when we make this lifestyle our “new normal” that we begin to succeed.

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Hello, LBee77, and welcome to the forum :) You have many useful tips to share :)

This welcome post explains how the forum works and how to find your way around healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Our daily chat thread includes a list of all the activities you can take part in healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

I was a little concerned about your podcaster but it seems they are simply a blogger and not looking to make money out of their advice, so that's fine. Commercial sites and links are not accepted on the forum, but that doesn't seem to apply here :)

Wishing you every success in your continuing journey, and what a journey you've had!!

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Yes, the blogger is a US Air Force service member who lost 75 pounds & then he started a non-profit organization aimed at helping military members lose weight & keep from being kicked out because of being overweight. As a veteran of the US Army I appreciate his contribution & he has great advice. Thanks for the warm welcome!

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CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FANTASTIC WEIGHT LOSS!! THAT'S AMAZING!!😊😲👏

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Thank you! I am also 5’0” and the struggle to lose weight is real at this height, you are right about that! You can do this, though.👍🏼😉

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I am 5 ft and struggling also of a certain age 60 😫 (that face is not about my age just my struggle 😌

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I love this😍 my favourite all time reward is buying myself a new gym outfit or trainers, which gives me extra confidence and something to look forward to when going to the gym. Never used to be. But the way we can rewire our brains is amazing!

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It sure is! I actually look forward to my healthy snacks now- they appeal to me much more than the old, fattening foods used to. I guess our taste changes after awhile?

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Interestingly they actually do. They also do as we get older so I'd always try foods that I thought I didn't like just to discover some day that I loved them (Brussel sprouts, artichokes...). If you eat healthier, after a few months you'll start craving those healthier and whole foods, it's 100% true.

I remember when I gradually changed my sweetened yoghurts to plain ones with fresh fruit (if you mash up raspberries it's like a jam dip btw😍) and it's crazy, now the sweetened fat free ones (which are often are FULL of sugar, e.g. Muller light 🙄) taste awful, super sweet and sort of fake fruit flavoured.

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Well done that’s an amazing steady loss! 👍🏻 Must try that podcast! 🤗

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Downandout123, this has possibly been said in another thread - but I can't wade through 85 replies. Ask yourself "did you pile on the pounds in 2 week??" No, you did not, so dont' expect to lose it all in two weeks. Concentrate on losing your 2 lb a week - nothing more, nothing less. By the end of a month it is half a stone. Don't worry about how long it takes. This is the quickest way to stop trying - been there, done that and given up. I am now concentrating on a week at a time. Good luck.

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Thank you. And yes-FINALLY NOW it is all sinking in. Two pounds a week is definitely doable, and I don't have to starve myself to maintain that. It's just that I'm SOOOO IMPATIENT. But my impatience has gotten me nowhere before. It's gotten me down in weight, but of course, my weight didn't sty that way very long. I'm giving myself til mid May. By then I should be in decent shape for summer!

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Update!! I must say-you ladies ( and gents) have REALLY made this whole eating thing "CLICK" with me!! I already am down a few pounds, I am not starving, and I have had 2 major "life stresses" this past week ( especially yesterday. ) 😥And STILL-i have NO desire to return to my old ways of comfort eating!! So I am struggling mentally with other issues ( aren't we all), but at least I believe I have FINALLY figured this eating thing out! With all of your help!! ❤❤

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Staying motivated is super hard! I have difficulty with this as well. I think it's about finding what works for you or making something work for you...if that makes sense. I recently found this article on wordpress that I think could explain better. healthylivinglivingwell.wor...

Overall, it's kinda unfair to compare your progress to someone else's. I'm kind of a hypocrite for saying that, but I'm working on this too. I hope this helps? Or it can be a start.

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Thank you for this EXCELLENT article! It can apply to SO MANY apects of my life. Even let's say with getting a job accomplished. Whether it be at work, or home, and you look at it and just wait for the perfect "block of time" that you can complete this in. That's what I do. And then guess what-that block of time never comes around because life gets in the way and nothing EVER gets accomplished.

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Yes most of all are not consistent with the diet program

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I just saw your post and wondered how you were getting on. I totally empathize with you. I have ALWAYS been an all or nothing person for EVERYTHING too. But this time I have decided that I am so sick of being obese that I had to accept the fact that if I seriously wanted to lose weight then I had to 're-educate` by brain. Think about it. You don't go to bed one night and wake up 2 or 3 sizes bigger in clothes. So losing weight is the same in reverse. Time is what it takes. Takes time to go on and time to come off. Taken me since January to lose 13lbs and getting there. Coming on here has helped loads too. I hope you are doing ok and if you are back on here... give me a shout xxx

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Congratulations on losing 13 pounds! You should change your title to read 13 pounds instead of 7! Thank you so much Ollio!! This TRULY is an excellent site with AMAZING PEOPLE on here. I think most of you live in the UK. I'm in N.Y. Has anyone ever met one another? That would be SO great!! For a few days now I'm back on the diet and doing well. I'm also getting my house cleaned up! But then I slipped last week, couldn't get back on the wagon, but I'm here now. That's all I can say. I ESPECIALLY want to lose the weight before summer. I have clothes hanging in my closet for years that I am not able to wear. I cannot STAND looking at myself anymore. I also started seeing a therapist once a week, and I like him so hopefully he can help me figure out my life. I am an all or nothing person in EVERY aspect of my life, and it's hurting my brain! Lol

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Hi I wonder if it’s worth asking if you lost it all in a day....what would happen next?? You would have learned no new habits which are sustainable and you would probably not feel any sense of achievement if it were that easy?? Just a thought......

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And a very interesting one :)

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Honestly, If I could lose it all in a day, I'd take it. Because at this point, I'm not sure I can lose it all anyway.

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May I suggest that you stop looking at the big picture and just change things slowly and set yourself small targets of weight loss to achieve. You have had a huge amount of support here and I am pleased to see that you are here again today. Would your daughter be a support to you at all?

Keep coming here and join in with the chat, offering support to others will help you to think differently about your own journey. You can do this, it just takes some of us time to adjust and accept and find what compromises we are happy to make.

We have confidence in you, now you need to find some in yourself - you are worth the struggle :)

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Thank you so much!! My daughter is sick of hearing the same old stuff already. She is sick of hearing me complain and not change my eating habits. I have a great relationship with her, but my head is as hard as a rock. I expect to keep doing the same things and getting different results. Sigh.......I loved everyone's different take on things and learning the ways it has worked for them. I liked the idea of the 5:2 diet, then someone else (.sorry-can't remember who), mentioned the eating within an 8 hour window. It's funny because my daughter found out about that diet ( it's called the 16:8 I believe), and she recently told me. I haven't tried that one yet either.

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Quite a few of us do 16:8. Try all sorts and see what you feel comfortable with😊 Rome wasn’t built in a day and your daughter is right....if you always do what you’ve always done, the result will be the same!

You’ll find your way😊

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Thank you! For anyone reading this, may I know how much your average weight loss is per month by doing the 16:8?

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This will vary from person to person. Some of us use it to maintain, some to loose. I would say on average 2 to 4lbs a month. 1lb a week is considered to be a good loss. The slower it goes, the more likely it is to stay away. I know you want to shift the weight quickly, but a lot of people who do this, regain the weight just as quickly or really struggle to maintain their goals. Just give it a go and see how you get on. You can always change it, if you don’t like it.

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Yes, I agree with this, apparently we can only physically lose a certain % of our excess fat which slows down as you get slimmer. Remember, whatever way of eating we choose, we have to have an overall calorie defecit . . . For me, having a longer overnight spell without food works becuase it means I can eat more substantial meals (2 usually, with a small snack if needed)

As Lucigret has suggested, try to get the right mindset, focus on health and energy, the time is passing whether youmlose weight or not. A pound a week means you’d be over three stone lighter this time next year 😊

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"The time is passing whether you lose weight or not". How true that is!! So I give up because it doesn't come off fast enough, and then I eat because of depression, and look-10 years have gone by and I'm still stuck in the same place, and probably even heavier! Makes NO sense!!

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Today for instance, I'm depressed about something. ( when not?🙄) So right now my thoughts of eating right and working on the house are just NOT focused. But I need to STOP the excuses. Life throws curve balls all the time. And every time it does, I think--well I can't get through this without food. (.I'm more of an emotional.eater). So when does this cycle just END???? It's like I'm not strong enough to not give in. But then I feel.terrible that I overate, get depressed, and the cycle repeats itself for 10 years! I really need to get over this bs, stop the whining already and just FIGHT with everything I've got, to STOP this pattern of behavior!!!😡😡

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Whoa there . . . Big deep breath, stop with the beating yourself up. It’s just food. It won’t give you comfort, or peace of mind, or a hug. First things first, here’s a virtual hug (❤️)

I hope you don’t mind me asking but is this about something more than weight loss? Your BMI is around 29 . . . Not especially scary. You repeatedly chastise yourself and use very negative words to describe yourself. Maybe the negative feelings are coming from somewhere else? Have you approached anyone to discuss this? Weight loss without getting into the right head space is nigh on impossible I’m afraid ☹️

Please take care lovely lady, you’ve had some amazing responses here, people who care and understand, I hope it has been some comfort

Indigo 😊

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Thank you!! Yes-you're right. My BMI is 29. Not scary, but not pretty either. 😣 Yes of course it's about something else. Isn't it always? Sigh.......I have suffered from depression pretty much all my life, so it's the weight plus the depression, then when I get a thought stuck in my head, I get obsessed with it and can't think of snything else. I just started therapy, so I am hoping it helps me. Food can't give you a hug, but it can make you feel comfortable ONLY at the time you're eating it. I wouldn't be me without the negativity. That's just my personality. Never seeing the bright things in life and always doomed to fail. Thats why I decided to FINALLY get help, even though I don't have insurance. My thoughts make my brain hurt! 🤯

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I read recently that we think we have to loose weight to be healthy, actually we have to be healthy to loose weight. I think you probably need to find a way to deal with the depression first. I have been there, I know it’s not easy. I am so glad that you are getting therapy. I could tell you all I did to help myself, but, just like our weight loss journey, it is a very personal journey and not all that I did will necessarily work for you. You need to get your head, mind and mood in a good place. Start each day by thinking of one or two things you are truly grateful for or happy about. It can take a huge effort to think positive, but keep working at it all day and it will become a habit. Coming here and supporting others as BridgeGirl suggested at the beginning of the thread, will truly help you. It will teach you to talk to yourself and respect your self

as you do your peers here. You deserve to show yourself respect and you are worth the time it takes to change your life around.

Once you start to have a healthy attitude with yourself, the rest will follow 😊

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“we think we have to loose weight to be healthy, actually we have to be healthy to loose weight.”

Not heard this before but absolutely 😊😊😊

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I will have a look for the link I found it in and share here later😊

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Thank you for all the tips. It is easier said than done though.

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Ooohhh I know that only too well 😃

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Massive well done on facing up to things 👏👏👏. Maybe forget about ‘weight loss’ and just eat food you enjoy, practice mindful eating, savouring each and every bite, treat it as self love ❤️

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