All or nothing thinking?

Does anyone else here suffer with this? What I mean is, when you start off having a bad day you think, "Stuff it! I may as well start again tomorrow now!". This is me all over, although I tend to think, "I'll start next week!".

I need to try to change this so that if I make a bad choice I can think to myself, "Okay, that's just one choice - let's not make the same mistake when I make the next one!". Anyone have any tips? Did anything 'click' in the way you thought about food that enabled you to have this mindset? :)

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15 Replies

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  • Good morning Cyrillia,

    That was me! After looking here and reading posts and posting things started to change. Also now I make myself stop and think before I do it!

    Is it worth it? How long will that pleasure last? Seconds, how long will it take to burn it off?!! Ages!!

    Think of having to eat it in its raw state before it's cooked, and or topped and mixed with the food you really dislike/hate.

    Come on you can resist it, just think of that lovely figure your aiming for 🙂

  • Oh yes @Cyrillia , that sounds exactly like me . I sort of started the 12 week plan at the end of June . I then fell of the wagon using the excuse of lots of birthdays, parent in laws 50th wedding anniversary celebrations, disruption at home due to new central heating, carpets & flooring.

    Then my dad fell over , broke his hip and I was visiting the hospital etc.

    My leg started to hurt in sympathy so I though I'd better weigh myself again & I was a couple of kg's heavier than when I started trying to eat more healthily- 😬

    So I restarted at the start of November & have lost 6kg and am only 0.7 kg from my target.

    There is hope, we have all been there.

    Onwards & downwards 😀

  • I used to have an elastic band on my wrist where I wrote my weekly target and if I wanted to eat something naughty I'd give it a small ping or just play with it to distract myself.

    It's also helpful to tot up your calories as you go. If you write down everything you eat as you go it makes sure you accept accountability and shows you how bad it really was. E.g. If you eat something unplanned that's 250 calories, you can see how many calories you have overall and find a way to subtract them from your planned meals in some way.

    So yesterday I ate too many chocolates. Tonight we were meant to have quiche and chips but now it's quiche and salad to try and make amends and planning this in stopped me from also eating some cake and sweets at home!

    Just remember, going 300/400 calories over is a LOT better than suddenly giving in to an entire day where you could over eat by 1000 or more! :) it's about being mindful and not reacting to every slip up as if it's ruined everything. You can do it! :) be kind to yourself.

  • That can be me especailly when I get low then it spiralls and spiralls

    This happenend to me a few Christmas ago, Id joined slimming world the plan was fab i lost nearly 4 stone but come Christmas I seemed to lapse and never got back into it I'd had my fiftieth lost the weight and thought I'm ok but underneath me was that insecure lady still and come the new year I just carried on let my membership lapse saying I will start next week and then Christmas came again and I'd put on. I looked at this forum briefly and then I lost my mum and I nearly had a total breakdown. My GP suggested counselling but I knew part of what was making me not get out that bad place was my lack of confidence and Mum struggled with that too so I took the bull by the horn and found some real possitivity again

    You need to have a strong mindset and just re- joining this forum popping in when your feeling 😦 has so helped me to get back on the track so this Christmas I won't let one bad slip lead to ...... tomorrow, next week, next year.

    Don't get me wrong I will still have slip ups I am human but ......

  • Blimey sounded waffley

    We all know life happens !!

    The world seems an angry place at the moment , we lose familiy members friends even our pets I have to go to another funeral tomorrow and I'm dreading it

    Work unemployment poor health but we can get there !

  • Hi I think I just learnt to stop damaging myself by eating more when I had only just eaten a little of what I shouldn't by being on the forum reading others posts and being educated so to speak.

    For years if I was happy I would treat myself, sad and I would eat more to comfort myself, stressed I would think foolishly that food would help me sort it. Looking at it now eating that way doesn't sort anything and puts you on the vicious cycle of self hate and letting yourself down. Now I just have 1 chocolate, one bite of mince pie etc and add it in my allowance. I have learnt to now know if I go off my new way of eating the only person I hurt is me and unlike before where I didn't think I was worth anything I now know I am worth something I think that has been the difference made in me.

  • That was me as I've been a diet failure for most of my life.... but something has changed this time.. I joined a gym at the start of November and have stuck with it .. I started eating low carb 3 weeks ago and the weight is now coming off.. I had a 'planned' 3 day break last weekend and got straight back on to it on the Monday. I think you have to 'plan' and know your danger times to allow you to have that treat but then that's it your back on it again.. it keeps you in control. I've also recently been diagnosed with high bp which is also motivating me to get healthy.. do you have a goal to focus on ?

  • Good for you onwards and downwardssounds like you are on a mission.👍😊🎄

  • Really good idea to setry goals of things to look forward to.

    Thanks for sharing this tip☺

  • I think being accountable massively helps. State on here what you aim to do, own up when things don't go to plan, and get back on it straight away. For me it's bottles of wine. If I have an opened bottle in the house I'm very likely to finish it and think I just won't buy another one. I'm yet to reach the point where it's easy to keep an opened bottle of wine lying around. But I can be accountable on here. And also I try very hard not to buy wine, I get other types of drinks instead e.g. I've had an open bottle of cider in the fridge for weeks that hasn't bothered me. I think it's part psychology, part avoiding temptation in the first place :)

  • i tend to find a damage limitation approach the best one to have, if you fail off the wagon get back on as soon as you can! Food will never comfort you, despite the temp fixes it gives you.

    Be strong tacke each day as it comes!

  • Hi Cyrillia,

    Yes I have thought that way for many years. What changed it for me was making very small, sustainable changes that built over time.

    I gave myself little targets each week like ridding the house of sweets, chocolate and biscuits the first week and promising myself they would never creep back in, then adjusting to make sure I got five fruit and veg a day the next. Often things took more than a week until I accepted them as "normal" and only when one thing was automatic and I was really comfortable with it I introduced something else.

    After about 4-5 weeks I got onto sorting out sensible portion sizes (that involved weighing food for several weeks until I could judge portions a bit better by sight) and this took several weeks to sort out. The last thing I did was concentrate on exercise and I tried out lots of activities until finding things that didn't feel like a chore. This seems to have broken the cycle of that "guilty" feeling and having to keep starting again. I would say the main thing is to make changes that you can sustain. Gradually you replace bad habits with good ones and start to reap the rewards of a new, healthier you.

    Make more realistic targets and you will set yourself up for success every time. Have a great Christmas and good luck x

  • I agree with this a lot :) lots of small changes, eventually they add up to big change :)

  • Excellent advice kalahuchi 😊

  • Hi Cyrillia

    On a good day:

    Since starting the 12 NHS plan I try to keep a good record of everything I've eaten/ drank each day. I find this and trying to plan daily meals/snacks in advance (even if just the night before) really helps.

    On a bad day:

    Even when I've fallen off the wagon (have the bruises to prove it) I can see where I can make adjustments at the next meal. That helps me get back on the saddle☺

    Don't give up!☺

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