I don't know where else I can post this photo!

I don't know where else I can post this photo!

This is what I was talking about on another member's post today...it is relevant to weight loss for some people, as some folk need to be emotionally well enough before they can tackle their weight issues (raises hand sky high), and not trivialize how they are feeling, as this will make matters worse (guilty as charged!). Like I said on that post, just because you can't physically SEE what's wrong, it doesn't make the issue any less important or something which doesn't require help to get through it.

17 Replies

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  • OMG WW, this is so true!

    What kind of a world do we live in, that allows the vilification of sufferers of a mental health disorder?

    It feels as if a large number of people wish depression, in particular, could be swept under the carpet and hidden from sight and because of this general reaction, sufferers feel ashamed and embarrassed and fail to seek the help they so urgently require.

    If only it were as simple as the suggestions in the picture, we'd all be jumping around full of the joys of spring then :)

    As you say, we need a holistic approach to our health and well being, as we'll never feel happy with our bodies, if we're not happy with our minds.

    Here's to a future full of tolerance and understanding.

  • I could not agree more. It has taken me 5 years to get to the point where I could try loosing weight. It is difficult to set off on what you know is a long painful path.

  • I love this pic! I also like the one about building a fort when depressed!

    it reminds me of my MIL 'if ur unhappy being fat ur unhappy with urself so just lose weight' - ha that's when I was 11st (those were the days!)! and her other classic 'I don't need to diet but I know you do, why don't I give you dieting advice' the women has never been bigger than a size 10 all her life no matter what she east or drinks (1 bottle of red with every meal)

  • Aahh MILs - don't you just love em?! :-/

  • Can we get your MIL and my mother to meet up ? They'd get on a treat ....

    And it might give them something else to do than annoy us ?

  • I bought mine a chair but she wouldn't switch it on :O

  • Hahaha this reminds me of the Irish electrician who went to service an electric chair in a gaol. He took one look and said "stuff that ! Im not touching it- its a fecking death trap " :D

  • Hehehehe

  • I almost wished there was a pic on there with someone whose leg had dropped off or something, with the "adviser" saying "Just snap out of it and pull yourself together"...I have a specific person in mind who could really have done with seeing a picture like that when they used those words towards me! Other great mood lifting advice for me from clueless observers (in the flesh, I might add) has included "just try going out for a walk", when I had a slipped disc and my physio had me on crutches and told me to keep my weight off it as much as possible...and they think I am the one with problems?! - LOL!

  • I find it really hard to respond to my wonderful forum buddies who are suffering with depression. I want to help but feel helpless. Is it better to say nothing...people here genuinely do care. We might get it wrong but forgive us please when we do and try to help us know how we can respond in a way that is, if not helpful, acceptable.

  • Aww bless you PP...I think we would really value the support and I for one would certainly not expect anyone in this forum to know the ins and outs of my daily life - how could anybody?! The people I speak of above know me very well in real life and should really know better as they know my personal circumstances..but they were quite cold and dismissive, not supportive at all at a time when I needed their support the most. As you can see, those memories still linger, but I tend to laugh more about how ridiculous the comments were these days than feel bitter.

    I think you can tell when people are genuinely trying to be supportive and help you through things. I see a lot of that on this forum, the positivity seems to come through the screen at you. If it wasn't that way, I'd have already left here. I suspect anyone battling depression might respond in much the same way, although obviously I can't speak for everyone.

    I posted the picture with a view to helping any depressed person to see that they are as entitled to help with their illness as anyone who has a more obvious, visible illness. These ideas helped me gain perspective when I was feeling guilty about "wasting health professionals' time", both with depression and arthritis issues. I was told, if you had a broken leg, you'd seek help, just because you can't physically see them, it doesn't mean these illnesses are any different. I found it a really helpful perspective and I saw things in a new light and felt a bit better about myself. I feel, if it helps even one other person to feel a bit better, it's worth sharing a million times.

  • Thank you WW for the openess of your reply. you are so right about how broken bodies evoke different responses to depression. Keep brave and keep on keeping on. We so appreciate you here on the forum...you give so much to so many people......have a fabulous week 😉

  • I just had an extra thought to add to this...I really do think reaching out to someone who is depressed might help. I can only speak how it affects me personally, of course. When I'm having a bad spell, I tend to retreat into myself and want to disappear, to hide away, avoid contacting people or going out, etc. That said, if someone contacts me, my natural instinct to not want to be rude usually instigates some kind of reply. That can sometimes be a turning point where I open up and start talking about how I feel. For me personally, I think I avoid people because I don't want to be asked the dreaded question "How are you?", because I don't want to lie to the people I care about and so I feel like I am dragging them down if I start talking about how I feel, because I tell them the truth. If someone contacts me, it kind of reassures me that they care and want to hear about how I'm doing - they know my circumstances and they are checking in on me and giving me the opportunity to open up, which is a comforting thing to me.

    Sorry if this is a bit of a waffle, I hope it makes sense. Just trying to give my perspective as someone who has spells of depression, in the hope that it is helpful information.

  • Thanks WW, I suppose how are you is not the best start when we know the answer.....this post has really made me think!

  • The thing is, it actually can be exactly the right question to help someone open up to you too. My doctor said exactly those words to me on a routine painkiller review appointment a couple of years or so ago and I came out with a prescription for antidepressants because everything just came pouring out which I had bottled up for quite a long while (me not wanting to admit defeat again lol). By him asking me how I was, it was like I was given permission to talk about my feelings. When I say it now, feeling much better, it sounds so ridiculous to me, but I honestly never thought people were really that interested and didn't want to drag them down so I just bottled things up. So sometimes, it's a great way to start the conversation because if someone is ready to talk it could help them to know there is someone there who cares enough to listen. That's invaluable when you are suffering from low self esteem "nobody likes me, I'm useless, what's wrong with me"...all that kind of negative self talk which can get itself going round in your head during those bad times.

  • I got some real nuggets of advice while looking for work for most of this year. Why don't you just apply for a job in a shop, have you tried online sites such as indeed, monster, you should just work on your CV a bit more. Yeah, like I spent 9 months twiddling my thumbs not doing any of the above. When someone says they can't get a job, it means they really can't. When someone says they're struggling to lose weight, it means there are serious barriers preventing them from doing that. Now I've got my job, the same people say, see I knew you'd get something. They'd take the credit for the weight I lost if I let them too. I think the important thing is to work on building your inner strength so you become immune to all the little insensitivities in the world. We can control how we react to things much better than we can control the things people say :)

  • Don't they realise we'd like to pull ourselves together? If only it was that easy.

    good post and it would be good on other forums

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