Decided that as I am Caesar, I deserved a decent tea yesterday so I took the long route to the market instead of going to the hippodrome. A change is as good as a rest, also it meant my adoring countrymen saw that I do ordinary day-to-day tasks not just get my lackeys to do them.
The trip to the market does take longer on foot and no one sees me in my full splendour but it's my legs, not the glorious steed pulling the chariot's, that need some work done on them. (Did that possibly sound as though I'm not a prime example of everything expected of a leader such as me?)
Anyway, back to the story, it's not a fabrication by the way, half way there I saw a number of my loving followers appearing rather odd. They gave the impression of becoming unsightly four-eyed, two-nosed, very uneven-round-the-edged citizens of Rome. Surely this could not be right?
When I arrived at the market place I took myself to the nearest mess hall for a sit down and drink to recover. Being at the mess hall made it look as though I was connecting with the hoplites and guards - another chance for a 'wow, he's so one of us' moment.
Following the vimto (wine not a good idea in the circumstances) and grapes I retreated to my villa for the rest of the day. Eventually all changed back to normal - good job really because the way I'd looked in my cheval glass when I got back was pretty shocking. Not a look that would catch on, even if I were promoting it.
Didn't get my decent tea though, pah!