I will shortly be turning 55 and have 10 stone to lose!!

I suffer from clinical depression and cannot find motivation to want to do this for myself. I do want to live to see my grandchildren grow up, but still do not know if this depression will let me. I feel desperate.

I have no friends ( this is true) and as well as working full time, I have a physically disabled daughter to care for and an 86 year old disabled mother who comes to stay with me at weekends. Is there anyone who has a similar life to mine and do they understand this lethargy I feel about life and what to do about it?


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7 Replies

  • I really feel for you, you have a lot to deal with! I have seen a few posts dotted between weight loss and c25k forums from people who suffer from depression and low moods. All I can say is there are some really friendly supportive people on this site and there is also a find people near me option on the drop down menu so it may be that you can find the motivation to lose weight with the support on here and also people nearby in a similar position..

    Before I started c25k I always felt better if I made the time to go for a walk each day - it doesn't have to be far - but it helped to lift my mood, and now I do a variety of exercises - I still have about 7 stone to lose but am comfortably working through the podcasts. Lowcal has a monday morning weigh in thread which is very supportive and the lovely people who post on there pop up all over throughout the week. I really hope you find the motivation to lose weight.

    Kate x

  • Hi Doinit4mygrankids,

    It can be really hard sometimes to find the motivation to do things for ourselves, particularly when you've got so much on your plate - being a carer for your physically disabled daughter, and also for your mother on the weekends, in addition to the other things in your life must definitely take its toll, and allow you very little time to devote to looking after yourself. You mentioned that you're experiencing depression, and it may be hard to see a way to cope with that. Maybe your GP could offer you some support with that, and I think there are some forums specifically for depression on this website that might be helpful too. I know you want to lose some weight, and you've definitely come to the right place for support with that. This is a very friendly and supportive community, and we all try to help each other closer towards our health and weight loss goals.

    As Kate mentioned, I do a Monday weigh-in, and there are lots of very supportive people (like Kate) who post there each week. Everyone is welcome to join in, and if you want to see the post, here is a link to yesterday's weigh-in:


    You are very welcome to join us. There are also lots of other regular posts on different days, and the nice thing about this community is people just contribute as and when they feel like it, and it's very easy going and supportive.

    The NHS website pages also have a great 12 week structured weight-loss plan - it's really good with lots of advice and ideas to help you on your path to losing some weight.

    Hope you have a good week.

    Lowcal :-)

  • You are starting at the right place, Doinitformygrankids. There are so many lovely people on here, I've never had so much support and encouragement from everyone. We may not all be able to fully understand your day to day life but we are all here unconditionally to listen and support as much as possible. Please take the opportunity to gain a few online friends, like chubbymummy has said, there is an option to find people near you if that would help. Good luck and keep posting x

  • I really feel for you , I am not in your position but I just wanted to send you love - hope that doesn't sound too soppy :)

  • Hi

    My hubby suffers from clinical depression and so my heart goes out to you. I got him walking every day just into town which took 20 mins, had coffee in cheapie supermarket and came home, it got him out of the house and a bit of exercise thrown in to release those happy endorphins (so they say!). Don't look at the bigger picture of wanting to lose ten stone, concentrate on the first 7lbs and once you've lost that concentrate on another 7lbs and so on but don't put any time pressures on yourself to reach a target, it will add to your stress. Please do it for yourself, you are worth it and sound a very caring person. Are there any voluntary organisations that can help you with caring for your daughter and mother, even if its only for a hour, it will give you time to yourself and maybe go for a walk or do something else you enjoy. If today you can only walk for a minute but tomorrow you walk for two minutes, that's progress, be proud of yourself and remember, its your weight loss journey, be proud because YOU ARE WORTH IT.



  • Hi Can I start by saying well done and good for you for getting on here and making a start. It sounds as if you have enough on your plate with everything. I can not fully understand but have suffered from Depression myself and know that feeling. I also work full time and until recently had my Mum who suffered from Dementia and Alzheimer's with major behaviour problems

    You have taken the first step. Your motivator is those little grandchildren. Boys or Girls? how old are they?

    When I was really low I also suffered from Anaemia and a Vit D deficiency as I hardly went out in day light. This made me really tired and lethargic, and really exaggerated the Depression, maybe worth a check with the GP.

    Taking one hour and one day at a time may be the key initially, if you have a slip up then start again an hour later

    Hope you have a good week.

  • I heard that exercises and fitness help combat depression. Is your daughter in a wheelchair ? If so, by pushing her along the path at the park you will get you arms and tommy muscles in shape. I also know that once turning 50, you can do what you want, when you want and how you want it. It is the "purple hat" syndrome. :) So don't worry about what people say. Just do it. It is their loss if they don't befriend you.

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