I've been trying to lose weight for as long as I can remember and I've given up so many times. I don't even recall why I keep trying but I seem to get back to 'the punishment'. I need help on what to do - and I don't think I can take any more disappointments or failure
Help!
Hi there, personally I just got to a point where I accepted that I was completely unhappy with my size and that I was the only person with the ability to do anything about it. I think personal motivation is a really big part of it but also not looking it as dieting but just eating better. Before I started the 12 week plan I took a good hard look at the contents of my freezer and tried to replace chips with potatoes, white rice with brown rice etc. I took food I liked eating and tried to make healthier options myself. I love getting chinese in so I made my own chicken curry and packed it with veg I knew I'd eat. I don't tell myself I can't eat out but I just try to plan it beforehand so that I eat healthy the rest of the time so I'm not so worried about it. For me the idea of dieting makes me think I can't have things I like to eat so I'm just trying to look at it as eating better. There's loads of information on the website as well as the 12 week plan print out but there is also loads of people on here using different plans so if that didn't suit you there are people with information with different eating plans they've had success with. Hopefully this helps and best of luck!
Hi, thanks for your response. I'm new here - in fact I only discovered this website today when I was trying to find out information about gluten and stuff. I signed up, downloaded the plan and will print it out and go through it thoroughly. I want to lose fat and be at a healthy size more than anything and I am ready to make changes but it's so discouraging to work out and eat clean and see no changes... especially when the internet is so full of success stories - it just makes me feel so hopeless. I know it should be motivation but it doesn't feel like it...
It really doesn't have to be punishment, no wonder you've given up so many times. But it can take some determination to change what you eat (or anything else) when it's become a habit.
As Sinead has said, start with making your food choices healthy ones. The type of food you eat is just as important as the calories, and for some people it may be more important if they have health problems.
Be aware that most packaged or ready prepared food may be loaded with sugar and other nasties, swap to lower or no sugar options. Low fat options particularly are often full of sugar. Try to keep sugary food or drink as just an occasional option.
Make sure to eat some good fat, like olive oil. The Mediterranean diet has been in the news recently, perhaps have a look at that, or at the 12 week plan.
Start with small changes. Planning your meals is usually a good idea to stop your grabbing the unhealthy stuff.
Thank you so much for responding. I have been trying to make some changes in my food choices. I haven't used any other cooking oil other than olive oil in 2 years. I seldom eat bread and I gave up on chocolate because I've always been aware that I can't control myself with it. I am now reading the 12 week plan and I guess giving that my best shot is the next step. I have to admit, I am not really good at making fantastic food choices and calorie-counting exhausts me and I end up feeling like some type of alien who cannot eat as normal people. I feel even worse when I look at my friends and they have none of my food 'issues' - and being the only obese person in my family gives all of them the right to judge me and preach about how I'm fat because I'm lazy and overeat! This is just not true. I do admit though, I am going about this lifestyle change all wrong and hope the 12 week plan can guide me.
I notice you are asking about gluten. Did you find the Gluten Free Guerillas page? Or Coeliac UK website?
I had to give up eating foods with gluten in about 10 years ago, and because there were no gluten free breads, cakes etc at that time I lost weight. I realised that cutting back on carbohydrates was the best way for me to lose weight. I don't count calories and I don't eat any supermarket gluten free foods, as they are over processed and over priced.
If you want more information on how food and hormones affect our bodies, have a look at Dr Robert Lustig who is an American obesity specialist.
If changing to healthier options does not help with your weight, perhaps have a look at Low Carb diets or 5:2. Reducing the amount of insulin your body has to deal with, can help with weight loss. It's not all about the calories.
Good luck.
Thanks again for the feedback and reference. I'm already feeling different compared to how I felt earlier (in fact throughout this past week). You've all been so helpful... it's motivating and I don't want to give up another thing in my life for obesity. Will update
I understand where you are coming from, in the past it was always do a little gain a lot and it can be disheartening, but like when quitting smoking you have to be ready to quit, and make a plan.
The 12 week plan was great for me as you fill in the charts and stay accountable to yourself. There are many apps and sites out there that offer calorie counting options if you choose to go down this route. Myfitnesspal app is great to record calories and weight progress.
You need to find what works for you as everyone is different, to make a change is going to be hard work there are no quick fixes but it is doable.
As mentioned by other people start by swopping out bad foods for good foods, i love fajitas so ive changed the tortilla wraps for gem lettuce leaves, you lose about 200cals and can still enjoy your fav foods. This time round i started by researching healthy options and always plan snacks ahead of time so im not tempted by that quick fix chocolate bar.
Its all about trial and error, try say calorie counting for 2 weeks see how it goes if it doesnt help then try the 5:2 diet, til you find what works for
Stay strong and all the best
Hi. Thanks for replying to my call for help. I have tried calorie counting and it didn't give me results but I am still tracking my meals and the nutrient-content in my food, not just staying within the allowed calorie range. I have been exercising 2 - 3 days a week ... and I think this week I'm feeling so hopeless because it's my ToM (time of the month) and I haven't been able to exercise and I have no appetite (which for me is maybe more dangerous than overeating because the closest thing to a meal I'll have will be countless glasses of soda).
And just browsing through the 12 week plan I see that my wine choices haven't helped either. I'm going to give this more than just a try and if there's anyone who would like to do this with me... I'd be happy for the support and once again, thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice. Dare I feel hopeful to do better? I'll try
Definitely feel hopeful you are making a change for the better nothing wrong with that. Stay strong and stay focused. You will get there. I agree with the TOM thing i always feel meh, but believe you burn more calories during that time. Take it one day at a time and you will reach your goal 
I too have tried many, many times and just started again three days ago. I too feared failure and the self-punishment that comes with it. I came across some quotes by Linda Spangle, whose books I have found to be helpful. In particular: 'So much of what goes on with eating patterns is mind over matter. If you say "I can't resist this", you're absolutely right. If you say "I can handle anything", you'll also be absolutely right." ' I am saying only: "I am succeeding now", particularly if thoughts of the opposite start to come along. Wishing you the very best of luck
I have had to start right at the beginning, i.e. learning to eat meals. I was living life as a snacker rather than a 'mealer'.
I have now more or less mastered that, and have also learned not to eat sweets constantly, I am now nearly a month sweets-free.
Still no weight loss though, as I am still eating too much, mainly at dinner. and I still eat after dinner.
That is my next area to work on.
I have to learn new behaviours before I can start the weight loss. Many seem to be able to do both, simultaneously. I have tried that and for me it did not work,
So even though I am not losing weight yet, I feel as if I have made good progress, just in cleaning up my habits . Weight loss is next!
Hi, know what you mean. I seem to have been on diets on and off all my life. I think we have to try and find ways to deal with it all and think why we want to lose weight. Mine is for health reasons, feeling comfortable in my clothes and looking better, I feel fat and frumpy!! When all seems too much I stop counting calories for a while and eat sensibly and try to walk or cycle until I get my head right then start again. I am sure you will find your way, this is my first day on this site but as far as I can see everyone is very friendly, honest and helpful. I wish you luck and determination my friend.
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Advice and tips on where and how to start weight loss
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What am I doing wrong?!
I WILL do this 
