elective c section after emergency c section ! doc trying to push trial of labour when after my research and feelings considered i dont want

im 26 weeks with my 2nd and i had a consultant app at 20 weeks ( next 1 will be at 36 weeks) well i went in with the decision, made not lightly may i add ! that i wanted an elective this time and thought that this would be granted without question but it kind of wasnt , although my notes say i wish to have an elective at 39 weeks, it also says trial of labour ! which i really dont want to do for reasons i will go through now ,

my son now 3 is super happy and healthy : ) but his birth was rather tramatic for me , apart from the mass feeling of failure on my part which took me over 2 years to come to terms with and get over ! because it didnt happen as i kind of expected it to, i feel like it kind of took away from my experience as a new mum ! il go through the labour and stats iv found

- at 1 week over midwife gave me a sweep , cervics soft and ready , dilated about 2cm : )

wed am

- contractions started late that night ,waters went early thur and contractions continued all day getting stronger , went to hospital about 7pm , checked my waters and wernt happy wih the colour , did a trace on baby and wasnt happy with that either , by now my contractions had all but stopped so they said i would b going on the ward for drip to get them going again, really it shouldnt have been till the following morning but they were quiet so told me go and sort what i needed and come back to b booked in on ward at 1am fri .

- drip was started , contractions strong had gas and air , baby went back to back had dia morphine

-baby had probe on his head to check hb , had decelerations down to 20 beats per min , rushed for c section , baby stabilised ( another lady now needed an emergency section) so i was put back on ward , baby had dramatic decels again so was rushed back , as the other lady was still in havin her op they were planning on knocking me out and doing my op in the anistesioligist room , baby stabilised again and was able to wait till other lady finished and got the spinal , baby born 9.23am fri morning , come out blue but i didnt see that, i know he didnt cry till he was on the table they have ready for baby .

- they couldnt tell me a specific reason for distress but he had pooed ( pooed because of distress or distressed because he pooed) and came out with an infection which ment 5 days of antibiotics in hospital and they wanted to do a lumber punch on him at 2 days old which i wouldnt let them do as i saw no positive , they know he had an infection and was treating him for it .

- i thought ( was told at the time ) i got to 4 cm in labour but consultant said my notes said 2cm ! which doesnt make me a good candidate for vbac, also my bmi was 32 and have only given birth via section, all these factors go agains me.

- 33 % of women try vbac and 75% ( 3/4 ) are sucessfull , but i think this is a low % for trying in the 1st place , success rate for vbac after fetal distress goes down to 66 % so again my chances go down .

im not scared of natural labour and delivery if i could wish it i would , if they could tell me i would definatly be sucessfull i would do it but obviously no one can, my fear is another emergency section which far outweighs my desire to birth naturally . i think a factor is if i dont try, i dont fail ! to fail once is bad , twice ! i dont know how i would handel that in the event it did happen .

i know a number of people that had emergency sections and most had elective 2nd time and said overall it was a much nicer experience , 1 ended with another emergency an said it was far worse than 1st time , 1 went natural after 3 days labour and ended up with neary 50 stitches after assisted delivery !

the consultant gave all the pros of natural and all the cons of elective , its really bothering me that trial of labour is down for me , i am an assertive person and didnt go in expecting to come up against the wall i did( when talking about my experience and decision tears were litterally rolling down my face ) so will be going back arguing my case at next consultant but still scared they will just ignore me again .

anyone with similar experience (not people who are gererally scared of birth and think section is best for them, or medical reason for elective section , i dont mean anything by that i just would like people who have experienced emergency ) of the people i know who had emergencys i seem to b the only 1 who had the issue of feeling like a failure when it come to child birth !

also i did breastfeed, 4 weeks by myself and another 4 weeks breast and bottle which is surposed to b harder after a section so ...

any one enlighten me on the ' facts ' as iv found it pretty had to get info

also a slight factor in my decision is my son starts school sep , my babys due date is 23 aug so if i waited for natural and ended up with a section i would not be on my feet for his 1 days at big school ( he goes nursery 3 days now while i work ) if im delivered at 39 weeks it will give me a couple of weeks to get up and about . i just cant shake the feeling i will end up with a section if i tried natural.

sorry for the essay.

[Hidden]

If you are not happy then you need to tell them...there are risks to a vbac, there risks to everything...I've been very lucky but they did think my scar had split with my first vbac and had the drs hand up me for about 5 mins after birth trying to check it was awful but then the second vbac was amazing and I loved every minute of it...I'd ring your consultant secretary and say your not happy with the trial of labour you want an elective and that's it, get it sorted rather than worrying about it till ur 36week app....if you have had a section before I think it's a very 50/50 thing don't let him push his opinions onto you...hope you get it sorted x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

i know the risks with a vbac , its not that im scared of that its the chance of ending up in an emergency again but as u say theres a risk to everything . it wasn't my consultant that I seen , they hadn't actually booked me in when they should have so I seen a consultant that could see me on the day when I was there ( at my 20 wk scan ) im hoping mines nicer and will listen to me but its playing on my mind ( they could b worse ).

im not a person who would optionally choose a section without good reason or think its the easy way out ( I actually think its worse from what iv seen to compare ) , I was against having epidural on my birth plan with my son ! but as soon as I was moved from midwife care to the ward I said at the time im gona end up with a section and I did !

iv seen nice natural labours and would very much want that but feel the odds are against me ! im at my midwife next week but she has never even spoke to me about delivery options , should I speak to her ? I don't know how to contact my consultant at all , or my midwife directly I booked with the docs and make my next appointment when I see her, when I tried to move it once cos I was ill with flu it was impossible so kept the appointment .shes allways said if I have any problems go to a&e I had horrible ligament pain at the start but didn't know it was that and worried and have been experiencing Braxton hicks type feelings from really early on which she said is unusual and if they get any regularity to them go hospital !

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Your consultants name should be on your blue notes...ring your hosp switch board and ask to be put thru...if not ring your community midwife deplaned ask who your consultant will be x

[minime61]

I can't help with similar experience I'm afraid but I do think you should insist on seeing consultant again before 36 weeks - otherwise you've got sooo long to worry about what is in your notes.

Good luck x

[Megzey]

Sounds like you have done your research into the facts and if you are really not happy then you need to tell them, there is no other simple way around it. It is your body and your baby at the end of the day. You need to demand for your rights.

[georgia28]

I requested a c section due to SPD and being concerned about further damage which is rare but the possibility was too much for me. I saw a consultant at about 24 weeks who was very dismissive and told me I'd just have to try and see how it goes, like u i consider myself quite strong willed but ended up in floods of tears, they told me to come back at 32 weeks. When i went back i had a bit of a panic a. I did my reasearch this time and was ready for a fight but instead had a panic attack lol, the consultants attitude to my obvious distress was disgusting. Once i calmed down he told me i shouldn't be here at 32 weeks and come back at 36, so i think 36 is pretty standard when making a final decision. I returned at 36 and was armed with my research, check out the Nice guidelines on c section by maternal request and if u look at c sections on NHS website, u are entitled to a section if after discussion a vaginal birth is not for u. I wad lucky on my 36 week appointment as i got a different consultant who went though everything with me but i did stand firm and she booked me in there and then. I did a lot of reading on NHS, Nice and other peoples experience, if u feel u are being treat unfairly u could also contact PALS i read somebody did this and they got it sorted for her very quickly. You could also ask your midwife for a referral to a consultant midwife which was going to be my next step had it not been sorted. Hope that helps and good luck.

[jowalk6]

If you don't want a vbac tell them you are strongly against it. I like you had a traumatic first experience. I was induced then in labour for 32 hours, only dilating to 3cm. An emergency section was carried out. My second child was an elective section as after a pelvic scan they knew I was having another big baby so no chance of natural. I am now pregnant with my third I would like to try for a vbac and have been told they will do growth scans every 4 weeks. DON'T EVER FEEL A FAILURE!! You did an incredible thing bringing your child into this world, whichever way that has to be, you should be proud. Keep strong hun and if you want a section don't let them force you to vbac. Hope all works out for you xx

[Hidden]

thanks guys , il speak to my midwife ! see what shes got to say about it .

feeling happier I think just putting it down in words , I was stressing out about it but if I get a consultant that doesn't agree with me I will request a new 1 on the day.

I see my midwife at my docs ( allways had the same 1 up 2 now and shes lovely )

have my scans and other appointments at 1 hospital where I had my son , but that now only has a small midwife led birth centre so will actually b having baby at the super hospital iv never seen and I don't know exactly where it is, so don't know if my consultant will b actually looking after me when baby is ready. just gona chill and insist on my wishes and actual personal circumstance being taken in to consideration , I am a person not just a number or statistic .

[Kaley]

Hi. I really felt for you when I read this because it could have been me writing it. Please don't feel that You are alone with feelings of failure as I have felt that way and I'm sure many others have too. I had a very difficult labour with my 3 year old son too. I was induced at 42 weeks, labour of 4 days ( with the indignity of having my waters broken during very painful and regular contractions on a full ward with just the curtain around my bed) which didn't progress beyond 2cm dilated, distressed baby and emergency section. Then a week on the ward, exhausted, traumatised and feeling like a total failure. I also struggled with breast feeding and was told it was because I had a haemoglobin level of 7.7 which was hindering milk production. Offered a transfusion which I declined ( hindsight is a wonderful thing and would bite their hands off if the same happened again) as I was so scared of having anymore poking and prodding.

In a nutshell, I also decided I wanted an elective section this time and went happily along to see consultant at 21 weeks only to come out in tears and with my feelings of failure reinforced. I should at least give it a try!! I have spoken to 2 different midwifes about it all, both who have been very supportive. One virtually told me that if I was her daughter she would advice me to have a section and the other said that I could speak with someone very senior who could talk me through my notes from last time to help my feelings of failure. Apparently service is available in all antenatal departments. Also i was told that drs do push for VBAC as they are cheaper than sections and departments have government targets to minimise or reduce section rates, so they have their own agenda which isnt your worry. Although like you, if I knew I could avoid an emergency section again, I would def go for a VBAC ( which I know is unlikely) I am going to go to my next appointment and say I want an elective section. It's my body, my baby and my experience and I do not want it to haunt me for another 2-3 years of my life. Also had PND afterwards which I feel my experience contributed to.

Sorry for waffle but I hope you feel less alone with it and I can offer you some confidence in your decision. Good luck with it!! Xx

[Hidden in reply to Kaley]

hi , thanks for ur reply . I waffle on a lot more than u ha ha .

same kind of feelings as u about why they push for vbac cos its cheaper and the stats ! after some more research found that my hospital has 1 of the lowest section rates in England 19.5%

also the new guidelines kind of go against us ! because although a woman now has the right to choose to have her baby by section if she wishes, they have to be refered for assessment and certified to have a fear of natural child birth ! ( which I don't ) and for us where a section has previously been performed doesn't automatically qualify you for a section 2nd time round ! automatically putting women for vbac unless a good reason for otherwise eg small pelvis , big baby etc...

I don't think any one should go in for a section initially because of fear of a natural birth I think a lot of people have worries about that and plenty go on to have trouble free births ! lots may opt for natural after having all the info and only people who are genuine will continue down the elective route but I also think it leaves open the door for people to follow the celeb culture of too posh too push ! fakes . people think this of me when I say I want a elective this time or question why I would choose one , it really annoys me , makes my blood boil . I know the recovery of a section and wouldn't recommend it over natural delivery at all but feel its the right option for me as I cant see what can happen naturally this time that didnt the 1st time and induction puts you at greater risk of scar separation and there for more dangerous than an elective would be !

im sure theres women that have had tramatic natural births and im not discrediting them and we all know its worth it In the end !

another annoying factor is that while im left having feel like my control of the situation has been took away, a friend due a few weeks b4 me who had a bad internal tare with her 1st was offered an elective this time, which she has declined and she would be under the same care team as me ! her babies are only gona b born just over a year apart so that might b y but y offer her for having a tare and not me ? I have a scar on y abdomen and womb for goodness sake .

I was never diagnose pnd but was never assesd either ! I definatly had issues after birth but could be post tramatic ! I had depression as a young teenager ( suicidal thoughts and half attempts ) that I never sought help for but at some point a light went on and I decided I would go with life as it came and not worry or stress about things out of my control and its done me ok overall . depression runs in my family history !

how many weeks are u now ?