Good Morning beloved ms family. Was last night a good night? I certainly hope it was. If it was not, guess what “YOU” got through it, now “YOU” know how to do it again. Before I had my first Trigeminal Neuralgia surgery, I have had three times. I used to dread going to sleep. The pain was let us say rather intense. I used to remember each night how I had survived, the night before and tried to do it again. I am only human and I do make mistakes, so I ended up overdosing several times but I DID learn what to do and what NOT to do. This is something that “YOU” need to learn for yourself. It would be very good if I could stand there and hold your hand. Tell “YOU” that it will be okay and that, ”YOU” will get through whatever aches “YOU”. That dawn and the soothing light of a new day is just a few hours away.
Sadly I can not, in spirit I can and I will if “YOU” ask for me, but “YOU” have to ask first. Until then, know that “YOU” can get through this. “YOU” will come out the other side. “YOU” maybe very different, totally changed, but “YOU” will come to the other side. A diagnosis (Dx) of Relapsing-remitting ms (RRms) is NOT the end of “YOU” Take it easy on yourself. Be a little gentle, cut yourself some slack. Find new and different ways to do things. Just do not do them, why bother. This is a very long journey that we are on. Mine started at 29ish, it has lasted over twenty years so far., who knows how far it will go. I could not have survived this long if I was constantly fighting a monster. I have, because I adapted, changed, failed, accepted. I have allowed ms to change me. I have adapted to give it less power, influence over my life and body. These are things I feel “YOU” must do as well. 20+ years ago I had a little old lady that told me to go easy on myself. To do what I can, to forgive myself for what I can’t and to take the next step. Thank you Mother, I am banned again on facebook so she will not read this. But “YOU” get the hint, catch my drift don’t “YOU”. “YOU” like me have been dx’d with RRms now. We will have it forever, we can not make it go away. Nobody can. It is OURS.
So why not go easy on yourself. Accept what “YOU” are and accept what has happened to “YOU”. It will take time, so give it time. Complex things have and are happening to “YOU”. They will not be solved with one aspirin and a lie down (nap). “YOU” have to treat your RRms as a challenge. The biggest that “YOU will ever face. Be gentle with yourself, learn to forgive. This takes effort, a lot os effort, BUT my sibling “YOU” are up for the challenge. RRms did not know what it was taking on when it attacked “YOU”. Within “YOU” lays a spark, a gently smouldering cinder. These fires burning on the western united States coast are nothing compared to the fire that can burn inside of “YOU”. Be gentle, give yourself time and the tools “YOU” need to feed your flame into something truly glorious. Believe, and be gentle with yourself. No matter what anybody may say or how “YOU” might feel yourself, know that at any given moment “YOU” are trying your hardest and that “YOU” are a good and worthwhile person. RRms is what “YOU’ have, NOT what “YOU” are.
Royce ( your ms writer and brother)
take breath, you can live with ms
I had to telll somebody and you were the victim
