Matters of the Heart : Ladies, I am... - My MSAA Community

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Matters of the Heart

stepsforNeeC profile image
30 Replies

Ladies, I am directing this painful experience with you, because I am truly on such a 2020 positive journey I decided I would no longer hold onto emotional baggage! I have been struggling with my husband's insensitivity issues for quite some time. It's an exhausting atmosphere at times due to the fact he doesn't believe or recognize the errors of his ways. MS should never make women feel so different that it makes us feel like: "everything we do is because we're EXTRA EMOTIONAL or Don't You Feel Good; the best one yet...I CAN'T Say Anything to You." Okay, yes there are good days, some good weeks, (cook/ bring dinner while I'm in bed) we go to church and I see him pray, but most importantly I pray he learns how to understand me, me with MS who I don't think after 13 years has figured out. Just learn that EVERY Emotion is not MS Related..We're Human with Hormones!

Peace and Blessings -

NeeC

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stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC
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30 Replies
jimeka profile image
jimeka

Good post, you have opened doors that others may want to open, I pray that your husband will truly start to realise what you have to contend with. Blessings Jimeka 🤗

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to jimeka

Blessings always

NeeC

rjoneslaw profile image
rjoneslaw

I’m not married so I’m not in a position or have a right to comment on your marriage nor give you advice but I hope you are able to work it out with your husband

Cutefreckles72 profile image
Cutefreckles72

I understand your feelings. Sorry you are going this. Keep praying. I know its hard but you know who sees and hears everything. He will work it out. 🙏🏾 His timing not yours. Hang in there. 😊

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to Cutefreckles72

His way and His way. He has never failed me yet; but these trials require my "big girls slippers" - some days they feel like they keep falling off!.

Thanks for caring

Peace and Blessings

NeeC

CalfeeChick profile image
CalfeeChickCommunityAmbassador in reply to stepsforNeeC

I love that "Big Girl Shoes"

Cutefreckles72 profile image
Cutefreckles72 in reply to stepsforNeeC

He will NEVER leave you. Put your "big girl slippers" on and go for it. There will be days when they will fall off but put them back on and keep moving. He gotcha. 👍😊

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to Cutefreckles72

And the Church has said Amen, and I will listen!

Blessings

Thanks NeeC ;)

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to Cutefreckles72

Thank you :)

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton

You are right, not everything is ms. I wish you the best and hope you stay strong in yourself

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to RoyceNewton

Thank you so much.

Peace and Blessings Royce

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to stepsforNeeC

take care of yourself

carolek572 profile image
carolek572CommunityAmbassador

I pray that everything will sort itself out in due time because it is easier to go through this with a friend. Keep Smiling :-D

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to carolek572

Thanks friend :)

NeeC

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to carolek572

Thank you :)

Jesmcd2 profile image
Jesmcd2CommunityAmbassador

First and foremost stepsforNeeC I hope he learns to treat you with the respect you deserve! Always! 🤗💕🌠

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to Jesmcd2

Thank you so much :)

Peace and Blessings

NeeC

greaterexp profile image
greaterexp

MS is so hard on the patient and on friends and family. I pray you work as a team to work through it all.

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to greaterexp

Thank you and we're keeping praying

Blessings

NeeC

twooldcrows profile image
twooldcrows

it is hard to deal with MS and try to help family understand where you are coming from or going to ...it is just as confusing to them as it is to you ..good luck i know that doesn't help much but again i know where you are coming from for i am married also and just that alone is a challenge then adding MS to the situation ..wow ...i know hang in there ...love and much happiness...

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to twooldcrows

Thanks my friend.

Blessings and Peace

NeeC

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to twooldcrows

Thanks.

Blessings

NeeC

ahrogers profile image
ahrogers

Such the right attitude you have there!!

We only have control of our own actions and thoughts and making the decision to keep your thoughts positive is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Not sure if you have tried counseling in the past but having someone to moderate a discussion might help him see what kind of support you need and help you both figure out what you each can do to support each other. I bet he has emotions inside he doesn't want to let out. I know my husband was hit hard by my diagnosis but luckily he is open emotionally and talks to several friends and our pastor to help him deal with all of it.

Prayers for many blessings in 2020 for you and everyone on our MS team!!

🙏🙏❤❤🙏🙏 Annette

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to ahrogers

Yes, I'm a strong advocate of couseling; the enemy probably rears it's ugly head even more because I used to work in the social services and hubby still does. We attend an awesome church and we have many marriage support ministries. I will talk to him about couseling.

Thank you, My MS Family is Awesome

Blessings -

mrsmike9 profile image
mrsmike9

At times away from emotional issues, have you had a sit down talk and talked to him?

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to mrsmike9

I did last night, pray he takes it all in; and he did apologize. I just don't want him to habitually become a "repeat offender" and use apologizes or gifts from Pandora as a deversion of behavior antic.

Blessings and thanks for your support

NeeC

mrsmike9 profile image
mrsmike9 in reply to stepsforNeeC

I'm glad. Hold him to it! I sure hope it "takes" as well.

CalfeeChick profile image
CalfeeChickCommunityAmbassador

stepsforNeeC I read most of the replies and between your post & the replies, we are quite similar. My husband changed 6 yrs ago when he had prostate cancer and had the prostrate removed. Many of you know that that definitely changes your love life. We discussed prior to surgery & after, but he slowly pulled away. Then MS came to me and I got sick & tired of living as roommates, and gave him a slight punch in the arm & told him "I'm not a porcelain doll" and won't break, let me do what I can & that includes saying "I love you and hugging each other." Sometimes, I have to be the one showing affection first, but who cares about that if we can still show our love for each other. We had our 30th Wedding anniversary recently. Dinner at the restaurant where we met in 1984, flowers. The most wonderful card I've ever received.. Our spouses still care, just reserve how they show their love.

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC in reply to CalfeeChick

Thank you for this....I cry when I used to be a "warrior girl." I tapped into my spiritual inner strenght and let people tell me "I'm so strong so brave -too long" and I'm burned -out. It's not easy being the only child either, that's why I'm so grateful for our judgement free forum were we can be speak my truth! Stronger together :)

Blessings

NeeC

CalfeeChick profile image
CalfeeChickCommunityAmbassador in reply to stepsforNeeC

MS may have brought u all together, but we are here for each other! Just being shows we are all stronger in every way👍💜

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