I am going to write another post. You see, my last post was intended to be a mini-rant about my inability to change my relationship status, but it turned out to be a intervention! I have just met some really awesome people who said some really nice things that made me blush. Thank you all.
This one is a little different. You see, dating is only a part of my MS journey and my getting the know the "new me." When I told my Mother about my MS diagnosis. She didn't seem too fazed and that confused me. She couldn't understand and gave me grief when I told her I was unable to make the drive out to her house to visit. I was hurt, but realized that you can't know MS unless you have MS. I bought her a book: "MS for Dummies." She is a big reader and I hoped it would help her to understand a little and be more understanding. It went 6 months and was unread. This hurt me and I told her as I was leaving one visit. Well, according to my Dad, this hurt her too and she called a friend of hers that she used to work with, Her name is Jane Nixon and she has MS too. Well, my Mom read the book I gave her and became fascinated. She joined "My MS Team" and several MS facebook groups and asked questions and read posts from others dealing with this crap. I didn't know this and when I went over there she told me to come give her a hug. I went over expecting a quick hello hug that was usual, but she hugged me tight and held on. When she let me go, she had tears in her eyes and said " I didn't realize what you were going through and I am so sorry you have to deal with this now."
Well... ok, if I could cry, I would have because she touched me so deeply. I told her not to worry that she has known since I was in diapers that I was a tough stubborn bastard and I haven't changed. I told her this was just another issue like all the other I had dealt with in the past and this one was no different.
She is now more understanding and today she is comfortable enough to give me hell. She told me today that I used to be "rock around the clock" but these days I am just "limp around the block" Are you kidding me, MOM!!! I had to laugh out loud. You have to admit that is pretty damn funny!! I love her and am glad that she cared enough to learn and show my father and my siblings.
Life is good on the homefront.
That is all. You may now resume you regularly scheduled programming.
You young'uns aren't going to get that last one.
Written by
TexasLawman
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that is wonderful ... it does help when others know what is going on in your new world ...bless your mom...love and much happiness for you and all of the family..
Amazing is someone with doubt and without understanding reaching a plateau of acceptance at the very least. Happy u have a little more quality of life through "outside looking in " understanding!
There’s nothing like a momma’s love and support! Like you said, you have to know MS to understand MS. I’m so glad you gave her the chance and she so did. Moms are THE BEST! You sound well.
When I was diagnosed I told my brothers mostly for them to be on the alert for symptoms as they now had a slightly higher chance if getting MS. A couple years later my little brother started having problems with balance and walking so did his research about MS. He ended up having a cyst in his brain causing his symptoms rather than MS. However, after reading about it he told me he was sorry he didn't understand what I was going through sooner.
It is hard for people to relate to diseases they know nothing about. I am sure when I become more symptomatic physically others will be able to have a better understanding.
The thing I hate the most is knowing anyday I can wake up with new or worsening symptoms so can't plan my future the way I thought I could.
We all have that, any day I can wake up with new or worsening symptoms ahrogers but don't let it control your life! You still have life to live! Live it! Besides, you could also get hit by a bus.🙄😊🤣🤗💕🌠
We are glad you found our group, but would rather that you did not need to be a part. It's always a good thing when others have an understanding of our issues. Apparently, I have had MS for over 45 years, but was not diagnosed until 6 years ago, so my case has not shown much progression. I'm one of the lucky ones, so far. At 76, I'm thankful every day to be able to do mostly what I want to do. In the past month I have painted my 2 decks and most of my shutters. I help homeschool my grandson daily and try to keep up with him after that. My issues are mostly in my head, like dizziness, occasional cognitive fog and weakness in my legs, but I still keep on going. I'm blessed with a good husband who finally understands what I can and can't do. He knows I'm not lazy, I just need to rest a while sometimes. We have to do things when we can, and rest when we can't. This is an invisible illness. Only we know what we can and cannot do. Blessings to you in Texas from NC.
Good on you! It’s very hard to explain in a way that your family and friends will get what you’re going through. (Believe me, I’ve tried) Most people just want you to feel better. Well, guess what, you don’t and you won’t. I’ve basically given in and just tell them that I do. It makes the conversation much shorter and less painful.
Glad you are finding some companionship out there. It will be a very special person who will take on MS in a partner.
TexasLawman It was so uplifting to hear of your mom's turn-around. Family support is very helpful in dealing with this disease. I do have one question about your recent post. You said "if I could cry, I would have". I am wondering what you meant by that? I am asking because I cried a few times the day of my dx, but I haven't been able to cry in the 4 plus years since. I sometimes feel I am broken somehow. But then I read your entry and wondered if someone else was going through a similar thing.
Yes, I have what is known as Riley-Day syndrome. It is the inability to cry emotionally. I would say it was because of my job, but I have always had it. I found out at my Grandfather's funeral. I sat through it with my hands covering my face because I was the only one in the room who wasn't crying and I was embarrassed. I want to cry, but I can't. I feel that I won't be able to heal from the damage that my job has done to me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually since I can't release those emotions.
So I go to my father's ranch and scream obscenities into the sky at God. It helps a little but not nearly completely. It sucks.
That is really awesome. Not all families will take the time to understand what we are going through since we don't look sick, act sick and keep on keeping on. You are blessed.
Haha...that is funny with your mom! I need to get that book to give to others b/c you are "correctomundo"! Unless you have MS, you just don't get it! My family tries to understand, but they can't. I lost so many "friends" - maybe if they read that book they would still be around - but probably not.
But, I am going on Amazon now to check it out. Thanks!
Your mom sounds wonderful. My mom was with me when I got the diagnosis and she went straight to Barnes and Nobles and bought an armload of books about MS. She told me she wanted to learn everything she could about it. She would go with me to my infusions and we met many young women in my age group who would tell us their mother, or other family members, weren't interested in learning about MS. There moms would tell them to get up and do something, clean house and they would get better. Their family members would not go with them to dr appointments or infusions. They felt alone and that was heart breaking to me. I've had a rough go of it but my family has surrounded me and are with me every step of the way. I feel bad for those who's family are not supportive.
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And reason # 2 not to talk to yourself...
Stepping Away for a while
Never stop small kids from asking questions.
We are lucky to have MS!
