You look so good, are you fixed? - My MSAA Community

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You look so good, are you fixed?

RoyceNewton profile image
24 Replies

“YOU” look so good I thought “YOU were sick.” Ever had that statement made to “YOU” by a friend or a stranger ?? I wonder sometimes what the inappropriate response should be.

Thank you, but I think my thighs are a little large.

Thank you, I was really hoping that somebody, anybody would notice.

Thank you, but say that quietly my spouse\significant other is around here and if they hear that they will get a big head thinking how lucky they are to have me.

My favorite, thank you, I needed a nice compliment today.

Turn it on them. Thank you, and so do you.

I might suggest that “YOU” have some prepared answers for these awkward statements and question. “YOU” most certainly will get them during your years with ms. I also might suggest that “YOU” think twice about your habits. Perhaps go to the same grocery store or stores. Be polite make some acquaintances with the staff. If “YOU” can go at odd times “YOU” might be able to drop ms in conversation. Wear an ms t-shirt, that way perhaps one day if “YOU “ ever need help “YOU” might not be afraid to ask and they might go the extra step to help. ms month is a great time to start the conversation and to wear the t-shirt. No need to bring up your own total history. Just be vague enough that if they are interested they can ask “YOU” more questions, and when it gets a bit much sear fatigue. It is a great way to pick up if “YOU” are interested or in the market.

It might take a little time, a few missteps but “YOU” will start to learn how to make this chronic disabling disease, Relapsing-Remitting ms (RRms) work for “YOU” and to your advantage. Hide yourself away and “YOU” will never learn what “YOU” are truly capable of. Face the world warts and all and “YOU” might be amazed what happens. I certainly did no think twenty two years ago as the x threw me out and divorced me that I had any sort of hope of anything. It has been twenty years now that she who must be obeyed and I have been firm friends and I expect that to last my lifetime. Just like RRms, but with much funnier bits and more ice hockey.

Learn yourself, learn your boundaries. Then exceed them, some “YOU” may have to go backwards every now and again. That is the fate of somebody living with ms, or living in general. It is a topsy turvy, round and round confusing disease. There is no doubt of that, strange things will happen to your mind and body, BUT and there is a BUT. It is a doable illness today, develop habits and a mindset that says to “YOU”, I CAN I WILL I AM DOING THIS and DOING it WELL. Full steam ahead, damn the torpedoes, I am going to live my ms life everyday to the fullest, and yes “YOU” are right “YOU” really are looking good, and that is a nice smile.

Royce

See yourself as strong and confident, then live that way

**”She Who Must Be Obeyed” here, join an MS community either online or in person. Two reason: 1) people really understand there 2) we joke it’s an exclusive dating service. |We know 10 or so couples who have met this way. Not in the market? Get your significant other involved so they can see it’s not hopeless!

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RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton
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24 Replies
1strider profile image
1strider

You and I may be in parallel universes. I agree with your entire comment. Including being kicked out and divorced after being dx. I'm 20 yrs dx also and have fielded the "you look so good" comment often. My appearance is deceiving, 5'10" 200# older athlete build, I use a scooter when I shop big box stores and I carry it in the back of my SUV. I park in handicap spots and I am able to lift my scooter out of my SUV and set it on the ground. Well, you might imagine the looks I get and sometimes the comments. I have often said "this is what handicap looks like" and ride into the store with my smile as I'm thinking to myself (but not saying) "maybe you would like to switch places with me for a day."

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to 1strider

o I so agree, hmm you might be right on the parallel universe theory

falalalala profile image
falalalala

I just thank them as they probably are just trying to be nice.

The ones that think I am destined for a long painful death sentence because of MS never consider those random meteors I told you about. :D

The people that I love are the ones whose opinion I take most seriously.

I got far worse comments about diabetes.My brother in law's sister once told me that I will eventually get my legs amputated! I told her that I'd still find a way to kick her @ss. She has not spoken to me since. I am good with that.🤣🤣🤣

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to falalalala

yes I like that

falalalala profile image
falalalala in reply to RoyceNewton

:)

Timeflies5 profile image
Timeflies5 in reply to falalalala

YOU GO GIRL! 😆👍

falalalala profile image
falalalala in reply to Timeflies5

😂

carolek572 profile image
carolek572CommunityAmbassador

Hmm, a little comment about ice hockey interjected in your post. Please explain as to your intent and don't try to 'skate' around the issue!

On a more serious note, life is what you make of it, warts and all. Go ahead, be serious or funny, lovable, or miserable. It is, after all, your choice. Looks can be deceiving, and I ALWAYS want to answer that comment, ~ Oh, you don't look handicap ~ when parking in a handicap space, with ~ Oh, you don't look stupid ~ but here we are! :-D

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to carolek572

nw that was funny, as for the ice hockey, she who must new obeyed invited me to my first game on his birthday long ago. To this day her father still buys me season tickets. I do not think he is comfortable with her driving back and forth across town by herself, besides I quite like it even though we keep losing. Not happy with that at all

carolek572 profile image
carolek572CommunityAmbassador in reply to RoyceNewton

But they came so close to clinching a wild card spot this year! :-D

My team is still in the play offs so I am still enjoying hockey! :-D

falalalala profile image
falalalala

Now that is funny! :D

I have yet to have trouble parking in a handicap spot but I am sure I will at some point as I have heard a few stories from friends.

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to falalalala

I am sure I would not be polite if somebody ever said anything to me.

falalalala profile image
falalalala in reply to RoyceNewton

I am not sure how I'd react to it.

I know when I am out and about with my husband pushing me in a wheelchair, I often get the feeling that others are trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Some will stare,others look away when I make eye contact. I experiment with this all the time. :)

There are also times when I want to jump out of the chair and start dancing in celebration of the miracle that just occurred.

I haven't done this yet,but it's on file.

We were on top of a hill last fall at a park when I commented to my husband that I wished I could get a closer look at the waterfall. He said in a loud,authoritative voice,"WELL DEAR, USE YOUR BRAKES JUDICIOUSLY!!"

I still crack up when I think of the expressions on faces around us. :)

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to falalalala

sounds like something I would say

falalalala profile image
falalalala in reply to RoyceNewton

He does things like this to me all the time!

We were out shopping last week when a man in a wheelchair commented that I have a "good man" when he saw him pushing me around in the chair.

What he didn't see was my husband parking me in between the hanging area rugs after I told him that I wanted a closer look!🤣🤣🤣

I still love him ;)

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to falalalala

gotta luv his style

falalalala profile image
falalalala in reply to RoyceNewton

He's a loving,funny, handsome devil that puts up with the gifts MS brings to our lives.:)

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to falalalala

that is all you can ask for

falalalala profile image
falalalala in reply to RoyceNewton

Yep, I'm lucky to have him :)

RoseySawyer profile image
RoseySawyer in reply to falalalala

😊❤🌷

Peruzzot profile image
Peruzzot

Only one person has ever asked if I was "fixed" when he noticed that my ability to speak had improved. I answered "No, I haven't been neutered. How about you?" I didn't appreciate the way he asked the question and I have a reputation for being snarky. There were a few others standing around when he asked that question and they busted out laughing...he was embarrassed and tried hard to explain what he had meant.

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to Peruzzot

well it is a good reply, I did not even think of neutered when I wrote it so good one

hairbrain4 profile image
hairbrain4

I have been lucky for the past 13 years, I have only gotten remarks about MS that are truly sincere. "Bless you for what you do." "I can't believe that you are able to do that." Those comments kept me going during times when it was really hard. It wasn't until just recently that I had gotten one of those "You don't look like you are sick" comments from a store clerk. This is a small town & I frequent that store a lot. I replied, "what do you think I should look like?" Her jaw dropped and she said, "oh, I mean, uh, well you just seem so normal, I never would have thought you were sick." I then told her, "First of all I'm not sick, I have MS, it's an autoimmune disease that destroys the nerves in my brain & spinal column, which makes it hard for me to walk like a sober person. I'm really not a drunk, I don't drink." She said, "Oh, really, I didn't know that I'm sorry." It ended up being an informational conversation.

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton in reply to hairbrain4

great way to handle it, no need to be rude

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