What if one of my many mornings with Relapsing Remitting ms (Rrms) I woke up, opened my eyes and decided today would be a good day. No, not a good day a very good day. Would I recognize it, would I cherish and enjoy it? I would not have to spend money, though I do love doing that. I would not have to speak to anyone or be polite and courteous. Could I do that? Am I able to just enjoy being with me. Sometimes it is nice to be with others, but maybe those olden day eccentric people did have something. Could that strange old cat lady actually be onto a great idea. People can be such a bother sometimes, so judgmental and demanding.
Perhaps I could do a day being happy and content with me. I do know me rather well, if I complain about anything I can just change it. I believe that I could be comfortable with myself for a day, and then if one why not two then three. I believe after awhile some human contact might be nice. Being with myself so often may take some adjusting. Exercise and actually moving are probably really important. As would be reading, just to give my imagination some sort of activity. Maybe even learning something not exactly simple. That would be great exercise for the gray matter and may help my broken brain a little.
No, I do believe it might be possible. To learn to be a hermit, to step away from the ratbag hectic world that we used to live in. I am not sure that everybody could do this but we are special. Special in a different way, but still special. I think being a hermit for years and years might take skills that I do not yet have, and that being a total hermit might be a little dangerous, but I do think that I can learn to enjoy and even love my own company. Perhaps I will learn to meditate, or communicate with animals or wives\husbands\teenagers. All I think are a bit of a challenge, but I have Rrms. I am most certainly up for the challenge.
In my continual learning about Rrms and ms in general, I do not understand how any treatment that does not treat the underlying disease can be effective. With disease Modifying Therapy (DMT) the disease I believe is given an alternative to attack instead of mylin, but stem cell therapy etcetera repair damaged ares, with no action on the root cause. The disease. Am I not just putting masking tape on a leaky pipe. Over time it will leak and weaken again. Only to cost me more money to put more tape on the leak. If somebody would like to explain this to me in easy simple words I would be most grateful. I do like the plumber analogy with the leaky pipes, that is pretty easy to visualize. Even for my broken brain.
Royce
at ease with my own company
