Life goes on, I hate to admit it, but it is true. The fact that we are in pain can not do things does not matter to the world or this universe. In the larger scheme of things I do not matter. I like “YOU” perhaps only matter to three or four people. I mean really matter. They would miss me or “YOU” if we were no longer here. I am okay with this, the fact that I matter to my joint dog means a lot to me and that is important. I am not sure that I can say that many people mean a lot to me. I actually do care about many. I care about “YOU” even if I do not know your history and exactly what “YOU” go through. Yesterday my Aunt died, from diabetes complications. I will miss her, though I did not speak to her a lot. I always asked after her and shared compassionate feelings towards her and her family. I will remember her though we were from two very different worlds. Me, first world disabled pilot and her third world housewife and mother.
I will remember her with fondness, I would like somebody to remember me that way, though I do not expect that anybody will and that is okay. I think that might be an excellent way to live this life. Make my life one that will bring a smile to somebodies face after I have departed. Perhaps be a lighthouse in the darkness and storms that is this our life with multiple Sclerosis(ms). It took me many years before I started writing, I followed many different paths. Learned lots of different things and had experiences that I had never planned on nor expected. It did not happen in a day it took many years. I was 29 when I was diagnosed (Dx’d) with Relapsing Remitting ms (RRms) My first words were written in my forties. If “YOU” do not have an idea where “YOU” are going today that is alright. Do not despair. Start your disease Modifying therapy (DMT) keep yourself as healthy as “YOU” can and allow your path to gradually show itself. Do not try to force it to come, or make it into something it is not.
Open yourself and allow what is meant to be, be.make no judgements, make no demands. What is meant to be will be when the time is right for “YOU”, Not me not anybody else, just for “YOU”.
I am sorry that is not my normal words, but it is what my fingers typed today. Be strong and true to yourself. We all walk along a path, different for all of us, particular to each of us individually. The steps I take may not be the same steps that “YOU” take even if the final destination is the same.
Royce
I always wish you the best in your journey
