Why does he drink?

[Shelly36]

My husband drinks too much. He says he has to work too much, 5 hours is not long in my opinion. He needs his beer and JD shots every night he gets home. He won't listen to me about drinking and I don't know what to do. I'm frustrated and lonely

[mayestas]

Hello Shelly who has Ms you or him? If it's him, maybe 5 is too much, however it's still no reason to drink every night. Sounds like he has a drinking problem.

[Shelly36 in reply to mayestas]

Hello, i have rrms. I've tried talking with him, but it seems to make it worse

[RowenSurvivor]

@why does he drink

Sadly, I feel he is probably an alcoholic. Maybe he uses alcohol to cover a different issue such as depression or anxiety.

The hardest part in your shoes, you cannot fix him. He'd need to decide for himself.

I came from two alcoholic parents, both siblings are alcoholic too. One is a recovering one, the other is active since she was 18- today she's in her mid fifties.

I'd consider attending an Al-ANON meeting- call local hospital for information,

Best of luck to him, you and your families.

[Kj9681]

Shelly36, I'm sorry to be reading about your distress. Hun, at the beginning and end of every day, you must only do what you can live with! No even knowing who has MS, sounds to me as if perhaps decisions have to be made. You deserve to enjoy your one life. Hope this helps. Blessings

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador]

Shelly36 l agree with Kj9681 on this, you also have to remember that stress is not good for! You need to take care of YOU!

[Shelly36]

Thank you so much for your advice.

[Christopher04]

It's a terrible disease. I've lived with grandfather, father, husband, father-in-law and son that are alcohol dependent. Hope my grandson doesn't fall to it. It's one of the worse diseases there is. God bless

[Shelly36]

I've lived with an ex-husband who was alcohol dependant and i left him because of it. My husband now likes to drink and hit while he's sleeping. He says he doesn't remember hitting me, but it still hurts me mm mentally and physically

[Royjr]

Hello Shelly, sorry this is a couple days after your post. You can always love someone but a very difficult decision is needed soon. Shelly stress will kill you. You deserve better and peace. What I've observed is that some people living with MS mate becomes and feel angry that their mate have MS and they become lonely. Counseling helps. I'm going tell you this but don't take it wrong; people living with MS have very high divorce rate.

I hope it work out for you. Stay strong and do what's best for you.

[Shelly36 in reply to Royjr]

I don't want to get a divorce....but i also don't know what to do. I'm trying to deal with him and my girls,but he doesn't like me to say "I'm trying". I feelas though that's all I can do

[Ashirva]

Hi Shelly!

I've been with drinkers too. I finally decided that I can only take care of ME. They will get help or stop when THEY decide to. A good place to check out is al-anon... it might not seem to be your cup of tea, but it's good to hear other peoples' experiences, talk with them about how they handle things and get much-needed support. They also have a LOT of written material that's very helpful. A lot of people have said that their spouse finally got some help when they started going to al-anon because they realized the effect it was having on their family.

Good luck!

[Shelly36 in reply to Ashirva]

Thank you for the advice, maybe he won't mind your suggestion

[Ashirva in reply to Shelly36]

You know that Al-Anon is not for alcoholics, right? It's for friends and family of problem drinkers. In Al-Anon, members do not give direction or advice to other members. Instead, they share their personal experiences and stories, and invite other members to “take what they like and leave the rest” - that is, to determine for themselves what lesson they could apply to their own lives.

If your husband decides to do something about his drinking, Alcoholics Anonymous would be the place for him to find support and help. But it might be a good idea for YOU to check out Al-Anon to help you better understand your husband's drinking and how you can take care of YOU.

If he sees that you're going to meetings and taking care of yourself, getting the support you need and changing the way you relate to him, he may realize what you've been going through and the role he plays in it. He may decide to check out Alcoholics Anonymous. Fingers crossed!

Anne <3

[Tx2Step]

Al-Anon, and asap, it's for you not him.