Hello. Our son has been struggling with a severe bout of OCD for the past year. He’s done in-patient, partial hospital and intensive outpatient programs. His psychiatrist has been adjusting his medications. He’s been doing ERP for the past 9 months. His compulsions are confessing, reassurance seeking, handwashing, checking, and ruminating. His obsessions/intrusive thoughts change a lot but mostly involve health anxiety/hyper responsibility. He fears he will somehow become ill from bodily fluids and, in turn, will pass this illness to loved ones. Public restrooms are a MAJOR issue. We feel horrible for him as he is always so anxious and depressed, feeling that he’s not “getting better”. We do see improvement but it’s a slow process.
We could really use some positive stories to keep our hope for his recovery going. Thanks for listening. Sending out prayers for all.🙏🏻❤️
Written by
2boys2girls
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I wish I could tell you that your son will undoubtedly recover from OCD, but I can’t. However, you see improvement in your son’s condition, and that’s a good sign.
The problem with many psychological disorders (anorexia, hyperphagia, addiction, OCD, etc.) is that sufferers want and, at the same time, don’t want to get better or aren’t willing to pay the price for their full recovery. The other day, I was watching a YouTube video “War inside” where the sufferer was saying, “When your whole day is OCD, if you can get 40 seconds, 1 minute, 2 minutes, anything, it’s worth it. It’s worth scrubbing the skin off your body just to get 2 minutes of peace and quiet. When it’s all day, every day, when you go to bed thinking about it, you wake up thinking about it, you have nightmares about it, that 2 minutes is worth more than anything in the world.”
When you son gradually realizes there is another way than OCD to end his torments, that is, he can use a public bathroom and more or less feel the same way as an OCD-free person would, then he has, and you have, good reasons to be optimistic. Therapy doesn’t feel like a burden anymore, it’s a ticket to a freer life. Once hope returns, it becomes easier to accept that recovery is indeed a slow process with many bumps on the way because one sees a reason to be patient.
Thank you! This is exactly what he tells us. When it’s at its worst, any amount of relief, even seconds, is worth it. In addition, no sooner does he overcome one obsession, then another pops up. It’s heartbreaking. Thanks for listening you for your reply. God bless you.
Look up Shannon Shy on Facebook and You Tube. He is a retired marine who was very ill from OCD and recovered. He helped me along with my professional help.
Thank you! We will definitely look into this. He listens to a lot of podcasts and does a lot of NOCD groups, etc. He’s trying so hard. Sending prayers for your continued recovery 🙏🏻
It's normal not to like using public lavatories or restrooms, and many of us try not to! But that is not the same as having a major problem with them.
I've been really incapacitated by OCD myself - to the point of not being able to leave the house and often barely able to do anything apart from lie on the sofa. But thanks to some good therapists, medication and CBT/ERP - some done with therapists and some on my own - I've managed to make a good recovery and do lots of the things I missed doing.
And so can your son. It's difficult to respond rationally to OCD - somehow the part of the brain that is set off by OCD fears manages to shout louder!
Still, it's good to remember that most germs are harmless or actually beneficial and we need them in our lives.
Nobody much likes having to do with strangers' bodily fluids, but the chances of getting something nasty from a public lavatory are fairly remote if you follow normal hygiene rules.
It is often slow progress, getting over OCD, but it can be done. He's in the right place for it, and doing the right things.
Thank you so much! This is very encouraging. He does all of his exposures but really struggles with the compulsions. I pray for your continued recovery.
Dear parent (you sound like the mum :-), I am now 47 but have OCD as from 14. And I have a job, a family and life is beautiful. I still have severe phases of OCD and then it goes... It seems that you have put everything in place, now I would recommend to do the most difficult thing: wait and see. Your sun probably needs to loose some time, some opportunities today, in order to shape its future projects, beliefs and success. Best regards., Ourson.
Thank you; this is encouraging! We understand that there is no real cure but we do believe in the treatment. Yes, all we can do now is wait and see. God bless you.
hi there, it’s a long road and a confusing one I’m sure others will agree! Imagine having this beautiful tunnel that all of your thoughts go through. Every time you have a compulsion, ruminate, check, it goes through this tunnel and it’s the route your brain always takes. Now we have to make a new tunnel and a new way of thinking and break away from those compulsions. The tunnel isn’t built and it takes ages. Gotta cut the grass down, gotta start building. Everytime you take back some control and don’t do a compulsion, (it’s so so so hard and takes so much work and some days it’s the worst and some days you win a bit) you take something from that old comfortable habitual tunnel and you put it in your new tunnel. A light, a brick, a hand rail, goodness it depends on what you visualize. But it takes work and time and it’s exhausting to relearn a different route for your thoughts to go and allow yourself to feel the uncomfortable of not doing the compulsions. It takes time to get comfy using the new tunnel, just like it takes time getting to the point of exposing yourself to the feeling of not indulging in a compulsion and allowing yourself to come down from the panic of not doing one. It’s exhasting. Just something that helped me to see my journey ahead at the start of erp. Same here with 9 months and it’s hard but working slow and steady! Some days are still so hard and then I come out of the cloud quicker or I have a small win. Other days are bigger and brighter on wins. I Gotta do the work! My closest know everything and are kind but also not going to feed the beast for me. when I am in a spiral or reassurance seeking they call me out gently if I don’t myself. They love me and I know it and I can come to them when I am having a rough one just to get it out of my brain without reassurance from them. Just an ear and maybe Coffee. You’re doing great with support, your son is working through something a lot of people underestimate and he’s amazing for facing it with erp. Go him!!!
Thank you for your encouragement. We understand that there is no real cure, but we definitely believe in the treatment. We do our best to be supportive and understanding but, truthfully, we do get frustrated. We understand that we shouldn’t give in to his reassurance seeking but it so very hard sometimes, like when he cries and begs for “just one more time” , or “I forgot what you said”, or “I don’t know if I worded it right”, etc. it kills us to see him in so much pain. We pray for your continued used recovery 🙏🏻
Just know each time he is begging, your reassurance is feeding the beast and making it stronger and it will be hard to feel the bit where he feels the full strength of not getting what the beast wants but that’s what we need to take power back from. Feeling it until it’s gone through and realizing nothing bad happened gives the power back to him. You got this mama.
Hello, how I feel for you all, our son has Body Dysmorphia, a by product of Ok CD, we were told it can be genetic, my brother and sister in law both had severe OCD They got better has they aged but our son is 45 yrs old and has had this terrible illness since he was 19. When the NHS dissolved all there mental health teams my son fell through the cracks, he only had therapy for 6months and was told there was no help available anymore. He was on Fluvoxamine for 22yrs with no help, we could not afford to send him privately so persevered but we had a major set back 5 yrs ago and got him to see a psychiatrist at our local priory hospital, he now, like you son, is changing meds to find the one that works and we have found a private therapist whom specializes in OCD/BDD and he has had 4zoom calls with her, next week we travel to see her and this will be the start of what I hope is the long way home. Yes, it's killing us financially but it's our son and you cannot put a price on that. I will sell up and live in a tent to make sure he is better . Good luck to you,
Thank you and we pray for your son’s recovery🙏🏻 This is a horrible disorder, and like you, we will do everything and anything to help our son. God bless you.
also. ERP helped me to stop being afraid of going outside and now I go out locally sometimes at times that are totally not comfortable with me on purpose and it’s a pretty big deal woo!. Getting free takes a lot and sometimes my ocd is still super debilitating but I’m far from where I started. Diagnosed in 2011 and it hit me like a truck again this year. (Some context of me)
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Mom of a guy with newly diagnosed OCD
Married to a OCD
OCD Family vs. Dating Relationships
Living Amongst OCD
