OCD is ruining our son’s life

[2boys2girls]

Hello. Our son has been struggling with a severe bout of OCD for the past year. He’s done in-patient, partial hospital and intensive outpatient programs. His psychiatrist has been adjusting his medications. He’s been doing ERP for the past 9 months. His compulsions are confessing, reassurance seeking, handwashing, checking, and ruminating. His obsessions/intrusive thoughts change a lot but mostly involve health anxiety/hyper responsibility. He fears he will somehow become ill from bodily fluids and, in turn, will pass this illness to loved ones. Public restrooms are a MAJOR issue. We feel horrible for him as he is always so anxious and depressed, feeling that he’s not “getting better”. We do see improvement but it’s a slow process.

We could really use some positive stories to keep our hope for his recovery going. Thanks for listening. Sending out prayers for all.🙏🏻❤️

[deValentin]

I wish I could tell you that your son will undoubtedly recover from OCD, but I can’t. However, you see improvement in your son’s condition, and that’s a good sign.

The problem with many psychological disorders (anorexia, hyperphagia, addiction, OCD, etc.) is that sufferers want and, at the same time, don’t want to get better or aren’t willing to pay the price for their full recovery. The other day, I was watching a YouTube video “War inside” where the sufferer was saying, “When your whole day is OCD, if you can get 40 seconds, 1 minute, 2 minutes, anything, it’s worth it. It’s worth scrubbing the skin off your body just to get 2 minutes of peace and quiet. When it’s all day, every day, when you go to bed thinking about it, you wake up thinking about it, you have nightmares about it, that 2 minutes is worth more than anything in the world.”

When you son gradually realizes there is another way than OCD to end his torments, that is, he can use a public bathroom and more or less feel the same way as an OCD-free person would, then he has, and you have, good reasons to be optimistic. Therapy doesn’t feel like a burden anymore, it’s a ticket to a freer life. Once hope returns, it becomes easier to accept that recovery is indeed a slow process with many bumps on the way because one sees a reason to be patient.

[2boys2girls]

Thank you! This is exactly what he tells us. When it’s at its worst, any amount of relief, even seconds, is worth it. In addition, no sooner does he overcome one obsession, then another pops up. It’s heartbreaking. Thanks for listening you for your reply. God bless you.

[Sallyskins]

It's normal not to like using public lavatories or restrooms, and many of us try not to! But that is not the same as having a major problem with them.

I've been really incapacitated by OCD myself - to the point of not being able to leave the house and often barely able to do anything apart from lie on the sofa. But thanks to some good therapists, medication and CBT/ERP - some done with therapists and some on my own - I've managed to make a good recovery and do lots of the things I missed doing.

And so can your son. It's difficult to respond rationally to OCD - somehow the part of the brain that is set off by OCD fears manages to shout louder!

Still, it's good to remember that most germs are harmless or actually beneficial and we need them in our lives.

Nobody much likes having to do with strangers' bodily fluids, but the chances of getting something nasty from a public lavatory are fairly remote if you follow normal hygiene rules.

It is often slow progress, getting over OCD, but it can be done. He's in the right place for it, and doing the right things.

[2boys2girls in reply to Sallyskins]

Thank you so much! This is very encouraging. He does all of his exposures but really struggles with the compulsions. I pray for your continued recovery.