It really hurts sometimes...

This will sound stupid, but I've been trying to get food with friends for months. Some family/friends talk about how if I'm depressed I should reach out. I tell them I can't eat, being with friends helps my appetite... Still waiting on an invite as Ive never been the one to really get them... Everytime things look up I get pulled down so hard... Being told "I can eat if I want" and everyone not realizing it's not really filling my stomach, but needing my friends...

That same friend told me I needed to reach out before it got to the point of a suicide attempt. Sometimes I get support, but it's usually for a little bit and they go to see their other friends. Who I assume they are nervous to introduce me to. I was getting invites, but during COVID and I never went out before then... Now that I'm trying it seems like my friends gave up on me...

[Scouns]

BlueType - I'm just checking bur are you feeling suicidal right now?

[Hidden in reply to Scouns]

Thank you for checking, after 2 attempts I won't try again, just sad and lonely. And O.C.D can make thoughts spin.

[Scouns in reply to Hidden]

I get it. Suicidal ideation is very different from being suicidal. Just in case you don't know if you ever feel you are in danger of yourself call or text 988. They are awesome and have helped several people I know. And I get that you are sad and lonely. I'm assuming you are not married or have kids if you are lonely. Have you thought about joining a church? I'm in no way preaching to you but when I am lonely I do things that my church has and try to get some social interaction since all I really want to do is hide out at home.

[Nothing_but_books]

Hi BlueType, Have you gone without food long enough to have your weight dangerously low? If you think it might be, please talk to a doctor.

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Not recently, it got bad 3 days ago. Little bites made me gag, but I'm eating again. But sad no one will eat with me, or all eat before me.... Year or 2 again lost almost $70lbs.I'm working with Drs and luckily a friend of mine is a health professional after he graduated. I just hurt for understanding, for my own self, and others to see how hard I am trying. I have a small support team, but the crew here seems to really understand...

So thank you for checking

[Scouns in reply to Hidden]

I'm so sorry. Having a support system during ocd battles is so important. People will always disapoint us but Jesus never will. He says He will never leave us or forsake us. That's the only thing that gets me through this.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome. I get it with the weight problem. I have trauma related to food. I never restricted calories, but I have had my weight dangerously low. It's scary.

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I appreciate you checking that I was safe, thank you. Hope things are better, if a little

[Scouns]

Just curious - maybe a stupid question - what is ToS?

[Hidden in reply to Scouns]

They're getting a bit more careful about politics, and religion. BUT theirs been no I'll intent in this thread so I don't imagine this is it... Infact I appreciate you both for the reply's tonight. Please take care

[Natureloverpeace]

I am sorry you’re struggling. Depression can really affect one’s appetite. Speaking from experience as I have severe treatment resistant depression. Are you getting professional help for it? You mentioned doctors and a small support team. Does that include a mental health therapist? What if you ask a friend out to eat instead of waiting for an invitation? I don’t know you but my heart goes out to you and I do care.

[Hidden in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Thank you, I'd been asking my friends before my last suicide attempt. My last Dr asked me what meds I wanted to take "since I've tried them all" O.C.D. BUT I've seen another since, and it went well. I'm just sad no one still has time... After so many times asking for help. I was told to reach out before it got to another Suicide attempt, and I was reaching out . For months...

That being said things are a little better... Just sad

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Hidden]

Maybe a virtual or in-person support group may help? Friends can burn out if we lean on them a lot for mental health issues.

[Hidden in reply to Natureloverpeace]

They never really let me lean, maybe one of them...And thank you, I'll be looking for some, their are some specifically for severe O.C.D. I've been looking into, just have bad experiences with people online so I get really uncomfortable. May be a great step though!

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Hidden]

Maybe a place to start is Community Conversations which takes place on most Tuesdays. The only person that shows on camera is the IOCDF National Advocate, Ethan, who leads the group. He also has OCD. He is super supportive and has a sense of humor. People can type in questions to him in the chat. People in the chat can respond to each other as well. It’s offered on several different platforms including YouTube and Facebook. People tend to stick with the same platform which helps them to get to know people in the chat. You don’t have to chat if you don’t want to. You can learn more at iocdf.org, Click on Recovery and Support, then Livestreams. We all need support and encouragement, this is one of the places to give and get it.

[Hidden in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I really appreciate this, next week I'll check it out before my next Dr. Appointment. I heard there a nOCD Livestream too on Wednesdays.Thank you

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Hidden]

Yes, both NOCD and the IOCDF do an Ask the Expert livestream. The NOCD one is usually hosted by Patrick McGrath who is the head OCD Specialist there and is a down to earth guy. The IOCDF one is run by Chris Trondsen and Liz McIngvale who are both OCD Specialists. Chris is with the Gateway Institute in the Los Angeles area and Liz is the head of a residential program in Houston.

[Hidden in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I've had OC.D. since before I can remember, thank you I will be doing a lot of self help this week... 💜🩵

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Hidden]

Please keep us posted and feel free to reach out anytime. This group has supportive people in it who care about you. Just remember it’s not a substitute for professional help.

[Hidden in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I'm seeing Drs, in between is hard, and people understanding...

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Hidden]

Some people don’t understand, some don’t even try. Some people can love us but be unwilling to learn about mental health conditions for whatever reason. Stigma, fear, judgments based on pre-conceived notions, I don’t know. I don’t broach the topic of mental health with certain loved ones because they tune me out when I do. I am grateful for the OCD community because I have found that people in it are understanding and supportive without judgment.

[Hidden in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I think I need to learn who I can be open with, it's hard because when I'm quiet people think I'm this always happy person, but I'm just stuck in my head wondering what to say, or not to worry about... Still though, thank you, everyone here has given me hope where a lot haven't.

[pamb67]

try eating little portions but often and keep talking on here so u don’t feel so alone. Take care of you

[Hidden in reply to pamb67]

It so hard...

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Hidden]

It is hard but please know you’ve got a cheering squad right here in this group.

[Hidden in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Tonight is pretty bad again... I keep making everyone upset... I can't be as strong as I want

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Hidden]

You’re doing your best, that’s good enough. Tackling OCD and depression can be extremely tough. They both take more than strength to overcome. Neither OCD or Depression are character defects. If it was a matter of willpower, you would have overcome both of these a long time ago.

[Hidden in reply to Natureloverpeace]

I appreciate you thank you

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Hidden]

You are very welcome.