contamination ocd spiral

[ollieander]

with my depression and eating disorder acting up, it’s not a surprise that I’ve just locked myself in the bathroom to go down a research rabbit hole on bedbug reports in the area, including places where my parents go for work. I feel I can’t go anywhere, that I’ll never be able to travel and go to a hotel or go to college and live in a dorm because I’m so afraid of bedbugs and other infesting insects. Even just seeing dirt around the place I live is triggering. I’m going to vacuum the whole place after this. I know it’s bad and I just started NOCD and am looking towards ERP but god I wish I could just make it stop right now instead of spiraling. I’m so scared all the time and it feels like nobody in my life knows how scary it is.

[deValentin]

To prove to yourself it's possible to be reasonably happy and OCD-free takes time and efforts, but once you gain that certainty, the possibility of coming into contact with bedbugs (or any other undesirable circumstances) won't disturb you to the point you can't function anymore. It's at least my experience.

[Sallyskins]

Try asking yourself how bad it would be if you found yourself sharing a bed with bedbugs. Certainly it would be rather unpleasant, but would it be so bad? There are occasional infestations of bedbugs, and beds and bedding have to be cleaned, but what then? People survive and no real harm is done.

Contamination is a problem for many of us with OCD. But it's possible to expose yourself to it - that's how ERP operates - and feel really uncomfortable, but to gradually get used to it.

That doesn't mean rolling in filth and not washing afterwards. But it does mean accepting feeling filthy and wanting to wash it off, and waiting for those feelings to subside.

Try leaving the vacuum alone for a bit. I'm sure the place can't be that dirty. Sit in it for a while - play some music, watch a programme, catch up on other chores. Let the feelings subside. They persist, and you could find you still feel the place is filthy. Give it a few hours, a day, if possible, to get used to it. Then if you still feel you need to vacuum, do it then.

Bedbugs are unpleasant little critturs to encounter, but they're harmless. And apart from occasional infestations, they're relatively rare nowadays.

[BlueType in reply to Sallyskins]

Unrelated tip, crushed up silica beads (found in clothes, and food). If you sprinkle it around the bed, it drys the bed bugs out. The packets that say "do not eat" in them... This is how some people have gotten rid of them. Not speaking from experience, but they sounded very convincing.