is it okay to keep my ocd to myself?

[OCDlivrecovery]

Hello everyone.. i have been trying to keep my ocd to yself mainly because ti has to do with my boyfriend and fear of cheating or not remembering something from the past.. my head is stuck on 2021 where we fist started dating.. I have gone over the timeline a million times, I know that he will be very confused and will just give him more anxiety if I bring up my compulsions,(he doesnt really get ocd i don't think, he tells me to "just relax" or "calm down"... but its also so hard to sit next to him while my brain is running a muck, is it okay to try to hold the compulsions in? will they go away?

[deValentin]

Sometimes, it's difficult to hide compulsions from others. They're so visible. However, It's easier to keep mental compulsions or ruminations for oneself.

If you've already told your partner you have OCD, explained the contents of it, and told him you were working on it, why not leave it at that? You can drive someone 'crazy' if you constantly express the contents of your ruminations out loud and seek reassurance like "No, you didn't do that, you don't have to worry, etc." Besides, it only gives them an importance they don't deserve. Just don't rely on obtaining absolute certainties in order to focus on your normal life, and you'll gradually see the urge to ruminate lose its power. I know, it's not always easy, but it's worth it in the long run.

[Sallyskins]

Stop ruminating, for a start! The more you go over something in your head, the more doubt you will feel. Just let it rest - and give your mind a rest.

I think most of us keep in our OCD as much as we can - it's only if we feel we have to carry out a compulsion that is obvious to others that we are open about it.

To some extent, this is good. Having OCD makes day-to-day life so difficult anyway, and we generally prefer not to inflict it on others. It also makes us discipline ourselves.

Not many people without OCD actually get it. Perhaps tell your boyfriend to ignore you when you're carrying out a compulsion - just to let you get on with it. I find that it helps me if others don't comment, don't tell me to relax or calm down or tell me that I'm doing so well.

So resist the temptation to spill it all out to your boyfriend, to tell him what's in your head. Ask him to just ignore you if your compulsions get too much for you. Don't 'confess' anything you think you remember from the past - it's likely that it simply isn't true anyway.