i really need advice

[slowsourbleed]

hi i’ve been struggling with ocd for a really long time and i need help. i do a lot of “magical thinking” especially about an ex situationship and idk how to let go of this. basically, last night i had a dream about him, and then i saw lyrics that said “he still dreams of us” a few hours ago which is really scaring me into thinking we’re meant to be together, when he i guess lovebombed in the first place. i can give more details about what happened if anyone’s interested but it’s been 5 almost 6 months of me looking for “signs” that were meant to be and it’s draining and giving me so much anxiety.

[Sallyskins]

Bouncing back from a broken relationship can take quite a while. And all the apparent indications that you were meant to be together are misleading. It's easy to read something meaningful into these random signals. It's just that having trouble letting go of this relationship is making you notice them and read things into them that really aren't there.

I notice that you say he 'lovebombed' you. For myself, I don't trust a man who tries lovebombing - abusive partners often start by lovebombing. It's really abuse, only it's camouflaged as true love. It's really a method of trying to control a partner, trying to manipulate her with grand gestures while being in control and calling the shots. And it often quickly turns into overt abuse.

It's not the grand romantic gestures that matter in a relationship. It's the little things, which add up to big things. It's about him listening to you and taking you seriously, treating you as an equal.

It sounds as though you're in two minds about how you still feel about him. That's natural. And OCD certainly doesn't help. Perhaps if you could come to terms with the break up and decide it's for the best, then you'll stop noticing random things that tell you the opposite.

[Fusebox]

Do you read at all? I mean, a real book? When I had certain kinds of ocd or record playing non stop.....I would read. Or just get busy with doing anything different. Helped me a lot.

[Mcfly64]

Hi. Are you seeing a therapist or on medication?