Am I ruminating

[hauko]

I am diagnosed with OCD and have had many themes over the years mostly sensormotoric ocd and Pure O.I have the problem that I am constantly occupied in thoughts can hardly focus on anything else tbh.

So I read into rumination and mental compulsions and I came across the fact that I propably do self reassurance maybe rumination.

My current problem is I couldn't sleep for 2 days straight after covid infection and I had the intrusive thought what if I die because I can never sleep again.

Since then I have had constant panic attacks ins bed, tremors yadda yadda yadda.

I am thinking about sleep constantly throughout the day because of this but I am unsure if I ruminate about sleep.

My thinking pattern differs from what I found online however it typically goes like this.

Intrusive thought comes in "will I ever sleep normally again" followed by another thought "should I try this or that so I could sleep better"

I see the ocd talking and disregard sleep for but sometimes few seconds later it starts all over again.

Is this rumination or just many intrusive thoughts?

I am not 100% sure but if this would be rumination I would myself think about sleep and how to achieve sleep for hours on end?

The more I look into rumination the more my ocd tells me you better look that you are not ruminating, too sadly