OCD checking/reading before throwing

[FoxFan23]

I am off work long term sick but in my absence my boss has cleared my office and thrown away all my personal belongings and thrown away work papers. I have OCD checking, which is probably why I had too many papers but I wasnt planning to be off but now I cant check anything before it is thrown away and I am distraught because I cant get anything back and I keep worrying what was in the pile that I needed. Work dont know I have ocd but even if I tell them now I cant get my stuff back but it has caused a lot of stress between us all and even risk of losing job because I cant stop going on about losing my stuff which is annoying them. Am just being told to get over it and move on. but how can I do this, I think about my missing stuff day and night. Thanks

[Nothing_but_books]

Are you talking about personal belongs they threw away without asking you? Seems to me they didn't have any right to do it before giving you a chance to pick them up.

Work paper clutter might be a different matter.

[FoxFan23 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Hi thanks for your reply. yes, all my personal papers and papers that were mine relating to work. They did not contact me and mention this else I could have sorted things first. In addition, yes, work papers that relate to work, but although that is a different matter and their right you really can not help what you stress and OCD over and I am worrying about all of it because I dont know what there was there unless I checked it and now I cant! But no, they had no right to touch my own stuff and it was neatly away not out or all over the place but they will not take any responsibility for it or say anything about it to those that did it and just say, I have to move on. I know it shouldnt but it really hurts

[Nothing_but_books in reply to FoxFan23]

Your feelings are real and valid. It hurts, period. Lose the "I know it shouldn't", it just is.

I don't think it would be out of line to tell the person who did it to make sure they call first next time.

[3BirdLover]

Do you have tools you use when faced with this sort of thing?

What comes to me by reading your info above is one of my tools called "Maybe...maybe not"

It's very helpful (with practice). It helps me to let go of things I have no control over. Sounds easy? it isn't. But with practice, you can do it. If they threw away work-related things, so be it. It is NOT your fault and you are NOT responsible. Maybe they did...maybe they didn't. Maybe some of this is reassurance, but I'm trying to be clear why that this tool is and how it helped me. When I use it, it isn't necessarily an immediate relief, but in time it does really help. I hope it will help you!!!

[FoxFan23 in reply to 3BirdLover]

Hi and Many thanks for your reply and offering a tool. Yes, I will try it thank you. Its just that awful sinking feeling of not knowing what has gone and imagining what has gone and knowing what has and what you cant get back so you cant check it so I just worry and feel awful the whole time. and the fact that it goes round and round in your head and you cant think of anything else. Then there is the hurt around the injustice of just chucking someones stuff and no one understanding and making me out to be the difficult one for complaining while the ones who did it dont even get asked about it. I am not suggesting they be disciplined or anything like that or even asked to apologise but suddenly because I am upset about my own stuff I am the nasty one causing problems. They dont understand my hurt

[aparente001]

I would make the disclosure.

AskJAN.org is very helpful, lots of specific examples.