Confessing compulsive thoughts to partner

This started in 2022. It is still ongoing. Anything I think that comes in an intrusive way I have to tell my partner within half an hour else the anxiety grabs me by my throat and I can’t think of anything else but to spurt it out. Then once I spurt it out it’s like it let’s go of my throat.

The one thing that devastates me is he is really unsupportive, I get that it’s hard for him dealing with me being mentally ill in some of the most extreme ways you could think. But even though perinatal diagnosed me with OCD in my pregnancy, I took sertraline for the OCD in my pregnancy and he is so nasty telling me I think I have OCD, screams at me when I let out an intrusive thought. I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND that this isn’t an easy ride for him either but the one person being in denial of the one thing that eats this relationship up everyday is wounding for me, gut wrenching.

Most of these thoughts are vile, disgusting but I am willing to open up about these in a 121 chat as I can understand and want to understand that other people also get these thoughts as well.

[TomFed]

Why do you have a necessity to tell your partner , especially if the guy does not support you or probably has no knowledge what is ocd whatsover? It seems to be another compulsion so you got to stop it if you want to get better. I believe it could be useful for you to engage more into sharing with an OCD specialised therapist or other fellow OCDers (online good, offline even better). I guess it must be hard on your partner as well to listen to every obsessive thought that pops in your mind so better save him from such "pleasure". I have a wife who does not really care to "get it" too much, but at least is supportive and loving when I occasionally feel a need to share. But remember, it is about you getting the right tools for healing, don't put pressure onto other people, nobody does owe you anything in this world and does not have to fix you. It's your own responsibility to get better. And if you feel bad with your current partner, maybe it is not worth to stay in such relationship. Only you can answer that. Trust me, there is nothing more important in this world for you than you getting better. Otherwise if you are just spinning in your OCD loops you are not living your life and you are basically of no help to others. Trust me, I had OCD as long as I remember myself. But for many years I was escaping my own responsibility to look for tools and people who can really help out.

[OCDlivrecovery]

hi I am 23 years old and I also suffer from these ocd tendencies with my partner… I had to the urge to tell him anything I thought was bad and I couldn’t not say it. I agree it’s a compulsion buts it’s incredibly hard. If you want to talk 121 more I would love to talk about ocd struggles. My partner also doesn’t quite understand ocd and can be a struggle for him especially when my compulsions are directed towards him. It’s a horrible feeling but my therapist says building a strong network of friends will help you get better and be happier

[Mcfly64]

Hi Loz4444. I understand what you are going through. I know it’s really hard but you must stop telling him these thoughts. This is your ocd and by having these compulsions and giving in to them you are only feeding your ocd and you are letting the ocd bully win. Are you taking medication and seeing a therapist?