I have been diagnosed with OCD when I was 15 or 16, but I remember having obsessions and intrusive thoughts all my life. My mother also suffers from OCD but she got it under control.
I've been attending therapy for some time and was put on meds, and now my OCD is mostly bearable, but I still sometimes have intrusive thoughts.
I have a question tho. I've got a bad episode with back pain (bad because of anxiety correlated with it, not because of the pain itself), which my physiotherapist worked out. A few years ago, I was having back pain due to back posture and weak core muscles (non-existing abs, weak glutes, and bad position of hips). After a few weeks (or months?) of physiotherapy, I was corrected. My glutes and core became stronger, I was doing proper technique at the gym and my back pain reduced to pretty much non-existent (I was feeling it only after workouts and it was like 2/10). Even my physiotherapist said that I was paying too much attention to that spot on my back, and I should stop doing it because it will make me hyper-aware of anything going on there (even sore muscles). But I couldn't do that.
Fast forward to last month, I started working out again. I started with low weights, making sure that my technique is on point, etc. But still, after every workout, the pain shows up and won't go away until the next day. The pain is very minor, I would say it's a 2 out of a 10-point scale, so it's very little. I don't know if I can qualify this feeling as a pain, but I can definitely feel something in that spot after every workout.
I was thinking maybe the problem is indeed in my hyper-awareness of that spot after a workout. Because on a daily basis nothing hurts me, even after lifting heavy things at work, playing basketball, etc. Only when I hit the gym and do a workout, then the pain will show up. And it persist for a few hours if I had nothing to do. If I am seeing my friends or doing something that makes me more at the moment, and I forgot about my back for a while, then the pain is gone. Also, when I drink a few beers or smoke a joint (which I rarely do) the pain goes away. But, if this is a typical evening, and after a workout, I will sit and watch Netflix, the pain will be there till the next day.
The first time I ever experienced back pain (a few years ago) I was having some debilitating anxiety, because I thought I was doomed and I won't be able to exercise anymore (which I loved/still love). Now, after these few years, I got back to the gym (last month) and I am really enjoying it (the process, lifestyle, diet, etc.) I am 100% into it, but the anxiety is still here, I am worried that because of that little pain it will demotivate me from exercising and I will be without muscles and with dad-body. So it's a vicious cycle because I am trying to do my best, but I am worried that I won't be able to do that hobby/passion anymore because of my back.
Starting last week I am reading tons of articles about back pain and everyone says that exercising and strengthening muscles is key to having a strong, healthy back, but still, it reassures me for a while, and then I search more just to make sure. I am super afraid when I read an article, and the point of view of people who wrote that is that I couldn't work out anymore or be in pain for the rest of my life.
I tried to get back to the gym a few times, but after a month or two I am always tired of this little pain, and just stop working out and become miserable because of that.
Do you have any thoughts or insights or tips for me? Should I stop seeking reassurance? Maybe I should let it go and accept that little feeling and it will go away. But I am afraid of doing it. I'd love to make sure that this feeling is caused by my OCD, but I think there is no way to do that (with 100% confidence).
Oh, and also. I am trying to quit smoking (cigarettes), and if I work out and then I don't smoke (for the rest of the day) the pain will be there most of the time. After smoking a cigarette, the pain goes away. I think this is proof (maybe not a solid one, but still) that there is something psychological about it. Because cigarettes cannot help with back pain, right?
Any tips will be appreciated. Please don't send me to doctors, I am afraid of them, and still, deep down I feel like this is propably psychological.
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kopytko
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Hi for me it sounds like you probably have Some pain and that the problem resides in how you deal with that, like stop excercising. After all, most of us have some complaint about their body (I have all kinds of neck problems myself and yes, they do get worse when my ocd is worse). So maybe it is better to accept this annoying feeling/pain is there, and if it is not so debilitating, like you say, continue doing the things you love. I don’t see why a 2/10 would make you miserable! Go!
To be honest, I don't quite get the attraction of the gym! To me, working out is a bore. I've been prescribed a few exercises and I don't mind doing Pilates, but the joys of pumping iron are beyond me.
But that's by the by. I think it is psychological. One of OCD's most annoying features (and there are many to choose from) is that it tries its best to stop you doing the things you most enjoy. It imposes limits and rules, and makes you question what you are doing.
It's also the case that the more you focus on one part of your body, the more you will notice odd niggling things about it. In reality, we have all sorts of niggles and feelings all over our body, constantly. Most of these we don't notice. But if you focus just on one part, you will become overly conscious of any little pain or niggle. And that just makes us focus more on that part.
Perhaps some deep relaxation exercises might help - they can make you focus on each part of your body in turn. That could help you be more conscious of your whole body, not just your back.
Don't overdo the exercise, though. Muscles need rest as well as use. Building a solid core is more important than getting a six pack. And a solid core will strengthen your back.
Stop the googling about back pain. The more you do so, the more conscious you will be of any niggles in your back.
And no, cigarettes are not a help with back pain. It sounds as though you have a really healthy lifestyle, apart from this one habit. It's one that is well worth the giving up!
- discuss problem with your primary (as well as what help can be provided to reduce your smoking)
- your primary may want you to be evaluated by a specialist
- I find that walking or light jogging helps my back get properly aligned and helps reduce back pain -- maybe this would help you too
- your primary might want you to work with a physical therapist (note that if you don't feel you have a good fit with the first PT you try, it can be helpful to switch to someone else) -- PT helped me a lot
- your primary might want you to take Ibuprofen on a regular schedule -- you could ask about this
- sometimes a chiropractor and/or massage are helpful
- sometimes a heating pad and/or ice pack are helpful
- have you tried using a raquetball ball to provide self-massage at the sore spot? You would stand with your back to a wall, with the ball at the sort spot, and move so the ball makes small circles
- some people find it helpful to treat anxiety with breathing exercises and/or yoga
Though I cannot speak from an OCD perspective myself, what you describe is very common among athletes of all kinds. The way that you reflect it seems great! If you think it is psychological, then it most likely is and you don't have to see a doctor if it doesn't bother you this much.
I would try and put this into perspective a bit, because as you said, it frustrates you and makes you quit working out after a while. You should probably stop the googling, because the reassurance-seeking sounds a bit like a compulsion to me. Normally it wouldn't, just regular googling around to feel better, like we all do, but you drew the line to your OCD, and I would trust your judgement on this.
From my perspective, which is martial arts, I can say that most people will hyperfocus on some pain or injury for some time. It makes sense! Your body knows there was a problem there and will try and force you to protect it until it clears up, and for some body parts like ankles, that might never happen, so the hyperfixation persists and ruins form through restraint. I do not mean to propose that you are on this road, on the contrary. As I said, you reflect this habit and take action to neutralise it in a healthy, non-compulsive way, which is persisting in working out and living a healthy life. (By the way, I think the beer, joint, or cigarette might be placebos, because they relax you of course, but mentally, not physically).
Feeling pain after working out is normal. That goes beyond being sore. I know of people who overdo it on purpose so they can feel the pain of light injuries and relish in it, it has a masochistic appeal to them. This is not healthy of course, but there might be people who sit on the couch with your kind of pain and think "Yeah baby!", just to give you some perspective. Next time you feel the pain maybe try and accept it as "Cool, this is slightly uncomfortable, but some people would enjoy it. Just glad I'm rid of it tomorrow".
As other people have suggested, jogging is usually a great way to help back pain, and maybe a few minutes on the treadmill as cool-down would serve as an effective placebo, too, besides the cigarettes.
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