Hi, I'm new here and am about to start ERP therapy due to contamination OCD but I'm terrified. How do I do this with Covid still around

[Huffling]

Hi, I'm new here and am about to start ERP therapy due to contamination OCD but I'm terrified. How do I do this with Covid still around and having a toddler at the same time too? My OCD is so severe I struggle to get up without doing and all day sanitising ritual and I don't go out of the house because of it. My youngest is two and has never socialised, I feel like such a failure

[Hidden]

Your toddler has had you for socialization. You're not a failure. Children are resilient and can catch up as needed. It's been a scary time. I had relatives who had to live in hiding during WW II. It was tough, but knowing you're safe & loved goes a long way. ERP is meant to be do-able. Maybe you'll start by shortening your sanitizing routine or waiting 5 minutes before washing your hands. No sensible therapist will have you lick doorknobs or anything like that. I had ERP for fear of driving and didn't plunge immediately into freeways. You will be able to do this and bravo! You will start feeling much better and more in control. Cheering you on!

[Huffling in reply to Hidden]

Hi Elisheva99, thank you so much for your support ❤️I think it's that what I'm finding difficult is that I had my 2nd child on the first day of the first UK lockdown in 2020 in hospital and it was such a traumatic experience and every experience since has been too. I was told to sanitise everything, all the baby stuff, the pram/ bag/ maternity notes/carseat/clothes/ourselves everytime we'd go out and come home. The midwives and support staff all went away but was told be them I shouldn't let.anyone near or cuddle the baby (which I still haven't to this day because Covid is rife here, he still hasn't net my parents 😞). Problem was I was doing the school run for my older child who was 5 and we were told he had to bath everyday,new uniform everyday, bleach his lunchbox/water bottle etc. I started a routine to get him and my partner in from work including bleaching the Sinks and shower everytime, mop the floors where they've been. Wipe down all the shopping from where they've walked, I do this everyday! My house is so small it's hard to separate the toddler from where they've been and it's stressful. I've done this for two years. I can't stand door knobs, the porchway, the front door etc and in the end I've freaked out and stay home and no longer do the school runs my partner does. I spray everything down everyday, sofas, cupboards,floors, I'm exhausted! Not to mention the handwashing. I'm so distraught I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop😞 like how do others deal with Covid in the home?

[Hidden in reply to Huffling]

Well, now we know that Covid is a respiratory airborne infection and bleaching and sanitizing surfaces doesn't prevent its spread (although masking does). If your parents are vaccinated I would let them meet your child. That would be a good goal in ERP therapy. You can start by meeting outdoors if that feels safer. You could even have them do rapid testing first. Good luck!!

[MothFir in reply to Huffling]

Have you talked with your doctor lately about reasonable Covid protocols? I remember when the pandemic first started everybody was sanitizing everything (OCD or not), but like Elisheva99 says it's now thought that the respiratory precautions (masking, etc) are much more important. Obviously I am not a doctor and you shouldn't take my word for it...but I'd talk to a couple doctors or nurses to find out what is appropriate for your family in your region.

When you talk to a doctor about Covid be sure to mention your anxiety and OCD. That will help them know you already have plenty of respect for Covid and may be doing much more sanitizing than is necessary. They will (hopefully) know better than to tell you "Well, if it makes you feel better, go ahead and clean..." because they'll know your feelings are warped by OCD and you can't use feelings for guidance. With a doctor's help, you and your therapist can come up with an ERP treatment plan you can trust.

Just go in knowing that you can't expect your OCD to let you feel satisfied or "okay" with letting go of your compulsions, regardless of what a doctor or therapist tells you. It will come up with all sorts of reasons that you should go way beyond what the experts recommend. That is where you will have to do ERP and take the same precautions everybody else takes and no more. After getting some initial protocols, you should not contact a doctor 5 times a week for reassurance. You will be uncomfortable at first, but if you follow your therapist's guidance (including not ruminating about it all day) you will get better.

Also, you're not a failure! You recognize you have a problem and you're getting help. It may be hard and you will likely have some setbacks, but remember your kids and why you are doing it. That will help you keep at it if you start to get discouraged!

[OCDguy]

Me too I haven't had my vaccination because I'm too afraid to go out and be touched by other people.