How best do I help my son?: Hello, I'm new... - My OCD Community

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How best do I help my son?

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Hello, I'm new here. Eight months ago our 30 year old son who has Aspergers came off his antidepressant (tapered too quickly by his psychiatrist). He lives with my husband (his dad) and me. At first he was doing OK, but a couple weeks after being completely off the med he started having intrusive thoughts. He is back on the med now, but not at full dose yet because it needs to be increased slowly. He doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything and is in his bed all the time, playing video games to distract himself from the intrusive thoughts. For months he has not been willing to see a therapist but he has agreed now. He will be seeing a therapist for ERP starting Tuesday. MY QUESTION IS THIS: Is it better for him if we leave him alone in his room, or if we try to get him to go out with us for a drive or somewhere to eat? He hasn't bee able to drive in several months and doesn't want to watch TV or movies for fear of being triggered. Also, as of about 3 weeks ago he can't look at my husband, myself, or any other people. I'm not sure why but it has something to do with triggering thoughts. Thank you for any insight and advice.

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helloworld22 profile image
helloworld22

My thought - ask your son if he would feel comfortable for you to briefly speak to his therapist to ask how you can best support him. Or write your questions and ask your son if he would feel comfortable bringing them to his appointment to get answers.

in reply to helloworld22

Thank you, I'll do that :)

IStillHaveHope profile image
IStillHaveHope

I feel for you going through this. Especially if it's your son. It's always harder watching your child go through something than going through it yourself.

I'm not a therapist or a doctor, but it sounds like he's doing some good things with medication and therapy. From what you've said, it sounds like he's trying to avoid his OCD triggers, which helps in the short time, but only makes the OCD worse in the long run.

I agree with helloworld22 , it may be best to ask to reach out to his therapist and see what you can do to support. Sometimes family and friends can unknowingly feed the OCD cycle if they don't understand it.

You sound like you love your son very much. I don't know if this helps, but he's not alone. There are tons of people who have OCD. He's not the first person to feel this way, and he won't be the last. The good news is that there are literally thousands of people who want (and can) help. It's hard work, but it is possible to recover.

I hope this is the start of a path that will ultimately help him and your family find some peace. God bless both of you.

in reply to IStillHaveHope

Thank you, I Still Have Hope. Yes, I definitely don't want to feed the OCD cycle. I was reading about how friends and family should not change what they are doing, and for several months we have been so careful not to say or do anything that would trigger him. That may have been a mistake because more and more things are triggering him now. , Like you said, I'll find out at his first therapist appt next week. The hardest part of this will be convincing him to keep going to therapy. I'm going to keep reminding him that this is the way to get better and it takes work, but will be worth it. God bless you, too :)

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