Seriously

How serious can OCD get? Well let me tell you; back in the 90’s me and my wife to one of our children to hospital after an accident. The care was fantastic, and they took him to be treated immediately. I sat in the waiting foyer juddering my legs as I always do when I’m anxious. Pacing up and down I notice people coming and going out of the main doors. This became a distraction, and it didn’t very long before that droning voice started pecking my head with ridiculous propaganda. Here it comes, that terrible compulsion ritual I must perform. “See that old lady on the walking frame it said, if she gets out of the front doors before you, she will seal a fate of misery on your son and may not get well”. And just like a witch would cast a spell I panicked, I total believed what I was been told and convinced something bad was going to happen. Remember this is split second thinking. I had to act and quickly as she drew ever closer to the door. I ran past her forcing her into the door jorum, losing her balance, this frail white-haired lady began to fall. Lucky there was assistance, and someone helped her from my selfish act. I apologised and so relieved she was ok. she walked away as if nothing had happened but to me, I was gutted even to this day I still think about what I could have caused. Perhaps this is one of the many reasons I broken down and did not socialise for some years. May be my penance, I don’t know.

But you what, that isn’t the most freighting thing about this OCD story. What scares me the most is that under the same conditions I would do the same again, and that scares the crap out of me.

I have got much better over years after psychotherapy, CBT and medication but OCD still rules a major part of my life. This condition is serious but quite often referred to as a cleaning disorder this is ignorance and l ack of understanding. Please if you experiencing any intrusive thought talk to someone get help.

Tony