Hello new to this

[Skjones]

Hello I just signed up due to I need resources and people who know what I am going through. I don't really have a support system, I have my dad but he has the resources to get help with his ocd. I can not afford the I surface or therapy it takes me half a year just to have enough to see so eone for medication management. My wife I love her dearly but where she grew up mental health is not a thing if you have issues you get over it she doesn't seem to want to understand and sometimes thinks I'm faking it for sympathy. I have given her multiple books a d websites for family members but never seems to read them. Right now I keep having thoughts of being a horrible person and people are talking behind my back I'm scared lonely and feel at a loss I keep telling myself that it's just my ocd and it's not real but it just keeps hitting harder and harder. I I feel misunderstood and sad all the time it finally hit real hard 2 days ago when my thoughts started to feel and sou d like so.eo e was actually talking like they were right next to me saying it. I am at a loss on what to do and feel like I have no support. Hope this community can help lessen this

[LuvSun]

Welcome Skjones! I am glad you have joined. We can all relate to you in regards to having OCD. Feel free to reach out anytime!

[Mcfly64]

Hello Skjones. Do you have to pay to see a doctor?

[Skjones in reply to Mcfly64]

Yes

[Sallyskins]

I'm sorry to hear you're suffering. I'm afraid it must be difficult for a lot of people in the USA, having to pay for treatment or go without. Here in England we have the National Health Service (NHS) and treatment is free, though you do often have to wait. And the treatment is top class.

Too many people think that mental health problems are something you can just snap out of. But the brain is the most complicated organ in the body, and they wouldn't expect someone just to snap out of heart disease or kidney disease!

Having thoughts of being a horrible person are common in OCD - it's partly the OCD, and partly the low self esteem that OCD causes.

Remember that you are much more than just your OCD. Perhaps try to write down (piece of paper or computer doc) all the other things you are and the nice things that you do. It doesn't matter how little these things are - they all add up to you!

I think loneliness also has something to do with how you feel - having OCD can be so isolating, and if you haven't support from understanding family and friends it can really make it worse.

It's possible that people talk about you behind your back, but what of it? They could be saying nice things! In any case, don't we all talk about other people when they're not there? It's part of the way we connect.

It sounds like you have plenty of books and online material. Try putting together a course of therapy for yourself using these resources? Structured therapy can be more effective than just doing things randomly.

And there are plenty of people who really do understand OCD on this forum who can help, whether by listening or by giving practical tips.

[Likeaflower]

For me what helps is not thinking "This isn't real".Instead, I like to think "This thought is real, the feeling, or fear, is real, but it is not true. It is not based in any fact".

For example, my thought "What if I assaulted/injured someone but I can't remember" is real, the feeling of fear and disgust is real, but the thought and feeling are not true, because the situation never happened.