Perfect last cigarette

[Apple7123]

I have been wanting to quit smoking for a very very long time. I know it's an illusion but it feels very true that cigarettes have helped me deal with many life situations and have been my "friend" in getting over lots of crap. I've been a smoker for 9 years now and I genuinely don't want to smoke anymore. It's affected my teeth, skin and when it comes to organs, I'm terrified to even think about it. However, whenever I try to make it my last cigarette I get awful intrusive thoughts. My ocd tells me the last cigarette as it's been a big part of my life, needs to be perfect. And it's not an excuse, it's not an addiction talking, it's my genuine state of mind. As you can imagine, you can't stop yourself from thinking when you're trying hard not to. The "last" cigarette is always ruined by horrible thoughts and I don't know how to end this vicious cycle. Has anyone had any experience with this? Not necessarily smoking, but feeling like it's important to end something on a perfect note?

[PaperTigers]

Ex-smoker here. I know what it's like to need things "just right" or I need to re-do it until it is. I may experience it with different topics but I can relate. I smoked from 2006 to 2014. I had my first cigarette while in the mental hospital so I understand cigarettes getting you through difficult times, it was a constant companion for a while, I tried to quit many times but finally did succeed and you can too. God bless.