Hi everyone! I’ve just joined the group. I have been dealing with OCD since I was around 10 years old. It started when my cousin was diagnosed with cancer. I wanted to keep her safe and began doing rituals in order to do so. Thankfully, she recovered, but my OCD was still there. I just had these thoughts of bad things happening to my family and friends, and I wanted to keep them safe so badly. I still do. My compulsions include arranging things, repetition, tapping stuff, and replaying thoughts in my mind. I struggle with being able to get these thoughts out of my mind, because I just don’t want anything bad to happen. I have joined this group because, whilst the people around me are supportive, they just don’t understand what it’s like to experience OCD, and to be as scared as we all are. For example, people keep telling me to ‘stop’ my compulsions, and I know that it comes from a good place, but it just isn’t helpful because I would have stopped if I could.
So I am looking for advice on how to calm myself down whenever I experience an obsession? Thank you!
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Dolphin_08
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Hi Dolphin_08,I'm really sorry to hear of the traumatic experiences you had in the past and it's understandable why you now have these sorts of worries. But OCD is often not logical, it's taken a worry that might have made sense at some point "too far". You are not responsible for keeping everyone safe. The need to keep everyone safe and worrying that bad things will happen to other people is a big theme in my OCD, too and I have to remind myself that it isn't my responsibility.
Have you ever had any sort of therapy for your OCD? I'd really recommend finding a therapist with experience of OCD if you can.
As for what your family say about just stopping, I completely agree that it's not easy at all but, actually, trying to stop the compulsions is something you should do. We don't always have control over the things we think, you can't stop the thoughts from coming, but we do have control over our actions. Remind yourself that these things you are thinking are just thoughts, they can't harm you or anyone else and try to resist the urge to carry out the behaviours (compulsions) that your brain is telling you to.
It will be hard but those compulsive behaviours may make you feel better in the short term but are making it worse in the long term. It becomes a vicious cycle - the more you perform the compulsions, the more you feel you need to.
It's not as simple as just stopping, you've almost got to fight against what your brain is telling you and to begin with, it might make you feel worse but stopping the compulsions will eventually make you feel better.
As Eleanor Rose said, stopping the compulsions, as hard as that is, is the road toward recovery. It is not easy, because then you have to live with the anxiety that comes with OCD with no way to alleviate it. But that's actually how recovery happens: in that discomfort and anxiety. When you accept the fact that you are feeling anxious and don't try to do anything about these feelings, after a while (and sometimes it takes a while) the anxiety will eventually wear off. When you do this enough, your brain develops new learning patterns and establishes that the compulsions aren't necessary to deal with the anxiety.
I agree that you should seek therapy if you can afford it. If you can't, I recommend reading books on OCD from a ERP (exposure and response prevention) perspective and also listening to an OCD podcast such as the OCD Stories. They can give you a lot of helpful insight. Good luck!
Follow a Stress-free lifestyle. Always keep yourself Cool, Calm and Relaxed. Spending time with friends and listening soothing and melodious Music also greatly helps.. All thebest.👍
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