Stuck

[Batya4]

I have allowed myself to become immobilized by intense anxiety. I cannot seem to get through it to do the things that I need to do. I would be grateful for any thoughts about how to deal with that.

[IStillHaveHope]

Hello. I'm really sorry to hear your in a bad situation right now. I've been there and I'm sure there are a lot of people on this forum who could say the same thing. The anxiety from OCD can make it really difficult to do certain things.

Have you talked to your doctor about what your feeling? What helped me initially was just being honest with my doctor. He recommended some medication, and I asked him if he could recommend a therapist. It took about 2 weeks to adapt to the medicine but that with therapy really helped manage my anxiety.

I really hope you find the help you need. Remember that you're not alone in this, and there are literally thousands and thousands of people who want (and can) help.

[Batya4 in reply to IStillHaveHope]

Thank you so much for responding. I am taking medication and I am seeing a therapist, and I feel like I am failing the treatment. I am very angry with myself for not being able to push through the anxiety. I really like your screen name, “I still have hope.“ I have always been good at focusing on things for which I feel grateful, but I have not been doing very well with that lately. I need to remember that there is hope, and focusing on the good things will be helpful. Thank you very much for your support. I really appreciate it.

[IStillHaveHope in reply to Batya4]

You're very welcome!

I understand feelings of failure, and anger. I've been there too. It's very easy for us to get wound up in the OCD and identify with it. I used to think, "Why can't I just get over this? Everyone else seems to so easy! What is wrong with me?!" This lead to a lot of sadness in my life since I was judging myself so harshly.

Eventually I got a book that discussed how OCD worked in the brain. From what I remember, people with OCD had more activity in certain brain structures associated with the ability to switch to different memories. They suggested that this is why we get "stuck" on certain memories or topics. This part of the brain is also close to the "flight/fight" center. So, we get stuck on a certain topic and some of that brain activity "leaks" into the fight/fight center. So now you have a weird though that produces anxiety. This lead one person to comment, "So it's not me. It's my OCD"

I guess that's what I'm trying to get at. You are not your thoughts. They pop-in due to certain situations and sometimes they cause anxiety due to the way our brains are setup.

For me, trying to "push through" them did not help much. Instead I try to "be" there with them. This isn't easy of course and I'm not perfect at it, but I know I can't "hate" myself forward. Instead I try to "love" myself forward.

I don't know if any of this made sense or was helpful. I do really hope you find some peace and remember, you're not alone in this. There are millions of people who have the same thing you do and who understand and care.

[Batya4 in reply to IStillHaveHope]

It does make sense. Thanks! I don’t think that I quite understand what trying to be with the thought means. If you have a chance at some point, could you let me know what that means? Thanks very much

[IStillHaveHope in reply to Batya4]

To "be" with the though means just that. Try not to push or wish it would go away. Try not to analyze it or ruminate about what could happen. Like I said it isn't easy and takes practice. In my experience this is what a therapist will help you learn.

I've been actually using an app to help with this as well. It's called Unwinding Anxiety and was created by Jud Brewer, who is a neuroscientist/psychiatrist. It was a bit pricey for 6 months ($160 I think) but it seems to have helped.

I think it did a good job giving me skills to help with my worry/anxiety. At least that's my experience. I hope this helped a little. Be kind and patient with yourself in this. I really hope you find the peace you're looking for.

[God-is-love3]

Hi,

You have made an important step in asking for help.

For me I used to get angry at feelings like those and can still at times. But now I have to pray to God and ask for help to live my life to the fullest and to love others the way he loves us.

We don’t have to do anything, but God has given us opportunities to love others and to live life more abundantly because of his great love that he shows through Jesus.

He calls us to Deny yourself, take up your cross daily, and follow him.

This sounds difficult and can be at times, but if you trust in the great love God has for you, you will gladly see the love and life he is opening for us if we surrender to him in a trusting surrender. Not a surrender like you’ve been defeated, but a surrender to the good side of life.

Continue to seek God and seek love with all your heart! I know you can do it!

Peace be with you.

[Batya4 in reply to God-is-love3]

Thank you for your thoughts. When I am so angry and frustrated with myself, I sometimes lose sight of all the gifts in my life. Thank you for reminding me of that.

[IsabelleJRogers]

Hi there! I hope you are doing well right now. I don't have a solid answer to this problem, but I want to let you know that I am also struggling with this same thing and also am wondering what to do to solve it. I also struggle with being "Stuck" forever in a constraint anxiety whirl of "Help!". You are not alone in this!

I think that you are accomplished right now for recognizing that this is an issue. This is the first step to solving it! I recommend working on 'Exposure Therapy', which is exposing yourself to these uncomfortable moments of being "Stuck" and instead of allowing it to take over you, you choose to recognize it but not acknowledge it or act on it. Believe me I know that this is very, very hard to do. I have been successful with Exposure Therapy for one time, then completely back where I started the next.

It takes time, but I like to remind myself that 'If I have the strength to go through the constant, hidden suffering of OCD everyday, then I can fight it off with that strength to regain my control of my life'. You are strong from having OCD control your day to day. You have the power to overcome it!

Good luck to you on this, from someone going through the same thing!

-IJR

[Highly_Anxious]

Hi Batya4,OCD is such a difficult disease at times. I too get stuck at times. I’ve had OCD as far back as my memories go (age of 4 or 5 yrs old). I didn’t seek treatment til I was nearly 18. Therapy & medication helped a lot. I’m 38 now and while a lot of times I can control it, there are still many times I can’t. It’s a matter of accepting your diagnosis and being kind to yourself when you are doing ok but especially so when you are struggling. Don’t give up.

[Batya4]

A while ago I read a children’s book about OCD. In it, OCD was personified. The child talked to OCD, said things like “Get out of here, OCD! You are not the boss of me!” The child called it the OCD bully. I wish that I were a child and could believe that and fight it as if it were something outside of myself, rather than inside an evidence of something being intrinsically wrong with me and immutable.It really helped to hear how you challenge it, because it was sort of like that. I am going to try to challenge the thoughts a lot better than I do. Thanks a lot. I wish you the best always.

[Batya4]

I think it was in “what to do when your brain gets stuck,” by Dawn Heubner or in “talking back to OCD,” by John March. I know that I have both of those books but cannot find them right now, so I’m not sure. I bought them on Amazon and I know that they were not very expensive. I remember that I liked both of them a lot and found them helpful. I will try to find them and if I do I will write back again.

[FirstResponder23]

Hello, I know exactly how you feel. When I go through spurts of ocd as I am now, I do not want to get out bed in the morning. I will lay there all morning tossing and turning and wishing I could just fall back asleep. I find it so hard to be focused and energized through my days. I will say this, it does pass. I have been through this many times, and it always passes with time and effort. Even as I battle it now I know what I have to do, but I too find it difficult.

Keeping a positive mindset has always helped me. Not fighting with the ocd, but yelling at it, telling it that it is not stronger then me and I will defeat it like always. And as hard as it is, keeping busy helps. I always feel exhausted and drained, but like exercise, it becomes easier with time. I try to make plans with family or others to fill down time in my day. I try to keep busy at work. Conversations with coworkers or creating kink tasks for the day. Even watching tv that keeps my mind busy like football. Anything to keep me from focusing on the ocd. I also use the time to reconnect with maybe friends or family members I don’t talk to a lot due to the way life makes us so busy. Please know, we are going through it together, with so many others. One phrase that has always stayed with me since I first experience ocd so many years ago is “This Too Shall Pass.”