Hello,
I've been struggling with silly, yet unforgiving, pure-o obsessions over the last month or two. Some of them, I know are crazy and even stupid, but are things like: "I must find the best way to cure any mental health condition, I must be 'perfectly' happy (whatever that means), I must find that 'just-right' feeling, I cannot simply 'accept' my emotions," and more. Simply, my obsessions are around treating OCD itself. Even my self-directed ERP has become a compulsion! It's like OCD's last attempt at keeping itself alive in my brain. I've resorted to compulsions such as writing this post (hoping that social interaction is the 100% cure and answer to my obsessions), meditating has become a compulsion, reading self-help books have become a compulsion, and more. When I 'lock on' to one of these methods, they become obsessive and I try to find reassurance that whatever method I choose (meditating, social support, ERP, supplements, etc. is the single fix-all solution. Of course, it's only a matter of time before I discover it's not the case: that is, there is logically a combination of useful treatment strategies. Yet, my persistent OCD insists I must find one and only one and I cannot be happy until I do so. I am also "not allowed" to use a combination of treatment approaches. Of course, I know how illogical all of this is. Yet, my OCD says otherwise. I have great difficulty concentrating on meaningful tasks without my OCD having something to say about my lack of attention on it.
I will add that my OCD was much MUCH more severe in my younger years and overall I have significantly reduced it, relatively speaking, over the last two years or so. I am certainly happier now than before at least.
Anyone else have trouble with Ruminations?
Can’t afford therapy 
Struggling with OCD and Anxiety, I am new here
