Tired and frustrated!

[MrsMapdog]

Ugh! I'm so overwhelmed with this illness! It can be so draining, mentally, physically and emotionally. I hate myself and get so upset 😡 when I do compulsions! Sometimes I can resist the compulsions but, sometimes I don't and when I give in, its bad and I end up breaking down and crying. How do yall react when you fail and succumb to compulsions? Its been a terrible day!

[Joeyman]

Hello friend, I truly feel sorry for your suffering. Compulsive behaviour has been part of my life for years now. For me, more problematic are the obsessive thoughts. Things got so bad that I decided to see a psychiatrist who started me on medication. Since then my symptoms have improved considerably. I still perform compulsions but to a much lesser extent and that fact alone gives me some hope. Don't hesitate to seek medical help if you need it. YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE IT ALONE. HELP IS OUT THERE.

[MrsMapdog in reply to Joeyman]

Thank you foremost for taking the time to respond. Meds don't work to help my ocd. I've been in therapy for almost a year now and my brain has been through a lot. I've had ECT (electronic convulsive therapy) for severe depression. They tried dtms (deep transcranial magnetic stimulation) for my ocd, which didn't help. In March 2020 I had (dbs) deep brain surgery for my ocd. I think its been around mostly for people who suffer with parkinsions and tremors. But, I think, in the past 10 years are using it for ocd. Its help some but, I still struggle. Best wishes to you!

[Cupoftea123]

Hi I want you to know your not alone, everyone here understands,sometimes you just have to drop the load off your back,I get tired fighting on,and people mean well when they say that stuff but sometimes it makes you feel more alone,I’d say you should give yourself a break and give yourself credit for doing your best 🤗

[MrsMapdog in reply to Cupoftea123]

Yea, I have to admit I'm my worse critic! Thank you for your kind words!

[3BirdLover]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I know we have chatted in the past together.

It's important to remember that we are not perfect. We sometimes fail. For me, there are times when I am more 'weak' than others and I cannot control the urge to compulse either.

It's also a time when I try to practice self compassion. It always helps me to remember that OCD will never be satisfied, and what a stinkin' bully it is. Are you in therapy?

We are all here for you

❤️

[MrsMapdog in reply to 3BirdLover]

Hi honey! Yes I have been in therapy for almost a year. I know I need to practice more self compassion. One of my flaws though is I'm a perfectionist and that make it hard. Yes! Ocd is your own inner bully! I just want to stab my brain at times because I'm tired of the needle getting stuck on so many things.

Thanks for your kind response. ❤

[3BirdLover in reply to MrsMapdog]

I hear ya!

The other day I was ruminating for several hours about something. (everything feels like a matter of life and death when it truly isn't). I ended up compulsing and asking my sister for reassurance. I shouldn't have done that, but I did. Oh, well.... I did tell my therapist about it and she helped me think through what I could have done instead. It made perfect sense. Just when I think I know it all (yea right), it hits me again and I sink into that same ole', same ole' crappy feeling of distress.

When I feel that 'old feeling' I recognize it as OCD but it still can take me and whisk me away..... I'm sure you can relate but we will continue to fight the enemy!!!