Ocd anxiety

[Periwinkleflower]

Hi there,

I have struggled with ocd since I was 6 years old.. It has gotten progressively worse and it's becoming something That I'm worried is part of the reason I had a seizure recently..i do believe also it’s starting to cause an alcohol addiction. I am scared and honestly sick of this and want to know how or maybe something that could possibly help. I struggle to find anyone who understands. The rituals are something that I don’t even realize are happening at this point because they are so regular, which is terrifying to me. I’m new today to this but have been looking for a community and hope I can find some people that also get what I’m going through.

[1BlessedMaMa]

Hey there! I recently joined the other day too to feel the comfort of others and to know this is all something a ton of people deal with! So i deff think your ritual is going to the alcohol which like you said your worried about! I had a similar ritual just different so i have a fear of choking and when i eat i get really tense and scared so when i felt something was “stuck” i would make myself sick which got to be really bad then recently caused more anxiety because i was worried about my health from doing that so its deff a ritual that deff will not help in the long run and will only cause you more anxiety later because rituals only make it worse it only feels like it helps for a short period of time. Theres a lot of coping skills that ive been trying to use when im in moments of panic. I have an app on my phone you may like its called insight timer to help calm!i would deff maybe find something you enjoy doing or something that can calm you during those moments and maybe look at the alcohol as your feeding the ocd and it will get worse if you drink it. Try not to let it become stronger then you are Thanks for following me will be good to communicate with someone that gets it like you said

[Likeaflower in reply to 1BlessedMaMa]

Wow I used to do the same thing! I would worry about not being able to swallow, not being able to eat. Which would cause physical sensations of tension or nausea. I totally relate to what you're saying. Thank you for sharing.

[EverythingWillBeOK]

So sorry to hear you're struggling. I strongly recommend therapy, especially if it has gotten to such extent that you don't realize you are doing the rituals. OCD is something that can take over your life, and you have to fight back. Please look for help. Sending you good energy!

[IStillHaveHope]

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. For me what helped with my OCD was seeing my doctor and just being honest with what I was feeling. This was a really difficult thing to do since it meant admitting that I had a problem. I asked him to recommend a therapist and he was able to point me in the right direction. It took a while, but with medication and therapy I was able to find some peace.

I don't know if this comment will help, but you are not alone in this. There are tons of people who want to help and tons who can help!

God bless you.

[OlivesO]

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I've been struggling with OCD my entire life and it has taken many forms. My first memory of doing rituals was when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I understand how you feel--it's not easy to share your struggles with anyone not even a therapist because it sounds so crazy to describe the thoughts and the rituals but believe me, once you do talk about them, it takes some of the power away. COVID has taken OCD to a whole new level for me and I'm just now feeling like I have it under control a bit. There are some good books to read--I will look and send you the names. Just please know that you are not alone and that you are not crazy. Some of the most brilliant, creative, and successful people have OCD (including a lot of famous people). I really believe it does make us more empathetic, resilient, and stronger than others. But while you're struggling with it, I know it doesn't feel that way. I often wish there was a magic pill to make it go away but OCD doesn't work that way but it is something you can learn to live with and even use to your advantage because it does make you stronger each time you move through another wave. I will be back in touch and please take care, stay strong, and stay healthy.

[Periwinkleflower in reply to OlivesO]

Wow I really appreciate you saying all of that. Thank you so much and I would love to hear the different books you would recommend.

[MothFir]

I agree with much of the previous advice--tell a doctor and try to find an OCD therapist (not just any ol' therapist, because many well-meaning therapists don't know what to do for OCD). Also consider anti-obsessive medication (like an SSRI) and a local or live online support group. There are lots of resources for people with OCD these days (books, blogs, podcasts, videos, etc.). Although the average person often has a poor understanding of OCD, and most of us don't have many (or any) friends or family who understand what we deal with, there are plenty of ways to connect with people who do. We're glad you found this forum!

[Periwinkleflower in reply to MothFir]

Thank you for your response.. I have been looking and looking it just seems Ocd therapists are insanely expensive even with my insurance. I also have tired to look for online support groups but have had trouble in finding them. Any suggestions?

[MothFir in reply to Periwinkleflower]

Here's a list of groups:

iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/...

And here's an article on low-cost therapy options (not sure how helpful it will be, but I hope there's something useful there):

iocdf.org/low-cost-treatmen...

If you can't get a personal therapist, you can make a lot of progress with self-help materials. I recommend these books:

Stop Obsessing! by Reid Wilson and Edna Foa

Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson

Stopping the Noise in Your Head by Reid Wilson

Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz

Online, you can find lots of good materials about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. The authors above have articles and videos. Stephen Phillipson and Katie D'ath are very good. (Stephen Phillipson's article "Choice" is well worth a read: ocdonline.com/choice). There are loads of others.

A therapist can help a great deal, but ultimately it is you who has to do the real work of recovery. That is both bad news (because you have to put forth effort 🙂) and good news (because you can get started now on your own). Learn some of the basic ideas of ERP and try to put them into practice. Also learn what not to do--all those things that only make OCD worse. When you have trouble or have questions, ask for help here. There's usually a lot of good advice from people at various points on their "OCD journey."