Me: It started when I was 5 years old, one... - My OCD Community

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Anastasia4703 profile image
14 Replies

It started when I was 5 years old, one day in kindergarten I started to think about my swallowing and breathing and it became what I constantly thought about. I eventually stopped it a few months later, but it would occasionally happen in middle school, nothing too serious. Now I am 17 years old and a senior in high school, and this thinking has completely taken over my life since corona. I have been manually breathing and swallowing my own saliva. I constantly feel like I can feel my own heartbeat and it terrifies me. I feel like I’m going to forget a breath or to swallow or like my heart is going to stop beating. This is the longest time I’ve had it and I don’t feel like the same person I once was before it. I feel like I don’t have my own conscience because it’s too worried about doing the stuff for my body it should be able to do on it’s own. I am in constant fear that I will die due to this. I feel like I’m the only person in the world going through this.

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Anastasia4703 profile image
Anastasia4703
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14 Replies
Anastasia4703 profile image
Anastasia4703

If anyone else is experiencing this are there any tips on how to cope? I feel extremely hopeless.

Luna-blade profile image
Luna-blade in reply to Anastasia4703

Hey Anastasia! Sry you are experiencing this but you need to consult a psychologist or psychiatrist so that your ocd doesn’t develop any further. I have pure ocd and wish my parents at the time knew about its symptoms; it would have prevented me from taking life long medicine. Don’t neglect it the sooner the better...

Anastasia4703 profile image
Anastasia4703 in reply to Luna-blade

I went to the throat specialist doctor today and they said that everything structurally looks normal, but I do have some dry mouth. He referred me to go back next week to swallow some liquids while they watch my insides to confirm if it’s a medical problem or not. If nothing is wrong then I will be going to therapy but I would really like to try hypnosis.

Luna-blade profile image
Luna-blade in reply to Anastasia4703

If it’s not medical then it must be psychological. In all cases solving the problem early is the best you can do! Take care of yourself :)

DeathtoOCD profile image
DeathtoOCD in reply to Anastasia4703

It's a good thing to check medical but, doing that can also just make the OCD worse, because you can always think, what it they are wrong. Find an OCD therapist, and try to eventually work yourself to ERP, it works 70-80% of the time, but it is very uncomfortable to go through but if you say with it, it works.

Anastasia4703 profile image
Anastasia4703 in reply to DeathtoOCD

I will definitely look into that! Thank you for the advice!

oliviaaa1 profile image
oliviaaa1

I’ve been going through this too it’s annoying, I’m just so focused on how I breath and I feel like my body forgot how to breath on its own. Im scared to do job interviews cause I know that I’m gonna start hyperventilating. I’m 17 too.

Anastasia4703 profile image
Anastasia4703 in reply to oliviaaa1

I use to have a job at Walmart but quit due to corona. I want a job again but I’m too scared to be out in public because I feel like I will have a freak out episode.

oliviaaa1 profile image
oliviaaa1 in reply to Anastasia4703

Me too I’m trying to get out the house more but I keep getting anxious

You are smart to come here and ask questions! It is a start. You are not alone.

Sukhoi profile image
Sukhoi

It seems you are having sensory motor/hyperawareness OCD. But for confirmation you have to consult a psychologist to make sure. If this is sensory motor OCD, then you have to manually concentrate/ focus where the OCD wants you to do ie, breath and swallow without fear and compulsive behaviour. If you do that for a couple of months you will be free from your OCD.

Anastasia4703 profile image
Anastasia4703 in reply to Sukhoi

Thank you so much for the advice!

summerchild profile image
summerchild

The chance there is for you to hyperventilate is equal to the chance for you to not. Yes, it's risky to take that chance, but you always have to think, "I'm going to hyperventilate. What's the alternative?" And not let the FEAR of it POSSIBLY happening drown you. Because it is also possible for it to not happen. You went to the doctor, if it isn't physical, then there is psychological help always available. When one thing doesn't work, something else is there for you. I was afraid of developing a couple mental illnesses when I was 19, and just as much as the chance was there was for me to develop them, the chances of NOT were also there. But i was going crazy with the fear. Identify your fear and seperate it from yourself; your own voice. If it gets to be too much, focus on anything else around you, a color, an object, /do/ something else with your family, talk to your friends. Hold on until you get your tests and results! I'll cheer you on!

Anastasia4703 profile image
Anastasia4703 in reply to summerchild

Thank you so much for the advice and support!

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