Sexual OCD thoughts are destroying me.

[Sedrik]

Hello guys, finally I found a place to shout out my mental disorder, which I am facing these times. It took me some time to understand what it really was. I have intensive intrusive thoughts, most of them are sexual thoughts. I have sexual thoughts, sexual images stuck in my mind by pornography, images that I once did not take seriously, but have now become horrible. they come to my mind all the time, dirty words, dirty phrases said by people I know. If I have an object in my hand and a dirty thought comes to my mind then I connect that object with that dirty thought or image always, or I have to clean it or clean my hands if it comes to my mind and I am touching something. It seems to me that if I wash, that feeling also goes away. My life has changed, if I see a sex scene I remember, someone is saying a dirty phrase, I start thinking about that phrase and I can not get it out of my mind. I can not write certain words, numbers, because they remind me of certain sexual or pornographic images. I try to replace words and images in my mind with other things. I have been going through this for years, but now I can not stand it, and I did not know anything about OCD. I started thinking about death, I wake up every day with anxiety.

[Mcfly64]

This is classic Ocd. Are you getting any help? Medication and Therapist?

[Sedrik in reply to Mcfly64]

No, I dont know where to start.

[Mcfly64 in reply to Sedrik]

See your doctor who should refer you to a psychiatrist.

[Mcfly64 in reply to Sedrik]

Your doctor or the psychiatrist will diagnose you with OCD. The psychiatrist should then prescribe you on medication specifically for ocd.

[Sedrik in reply to Mcfly64]

Are there any medicine for OCD? I don't know becouse I don't have any experience with antidepressants. I am scared for side-effects and I don't want to be depend on that.

[Mcfly64 in reply to Sedrik]

Sedrik first thing you must do is go and speak to your doctor.

[MommaofOCD]

You deserve help with this because it is a medical condition & it can get better with treatment. Don’t believe that you’re a bad person, you are not. Talk to a doctor and reach out for healing. You deserve it.

[Sedrik in reply to MommaofOCD]

Thank u so much.I hope I can do something for myself. Sometimes I Just can take no more.

[Ocdwarrior]

Good evening Sedrik! Your post resonated with me because I also suffered from sexual intrusive thots. Especially around fear I am a pedophile. But I also had intrusive thots about anything and everything sexual. It is hell as I'm sure you know!! I avoided people, animals, and anything else ocd told me could be connected to sex. No matter how ridiculous!!!! And let me tell u some of it was totally bizarre!! But leave it to ocd 😒😒

Living with these kinds of sexual intrusive thots is also tough because our natural sexual feelings and sensations that EVERYONE has suddenly mean that we're some horrible evil perverts. 😔😔

But speaking from experience I KNOW you can overcome this! I did! I was not able to get a therapist, unfortunately, but I worked through Dr Jonathan abramowitz's book called getting over ocd and it was amazing! But the biggest thing for me was getting involved in an online ocd support group. It made all the difference in the world to have support and ppl who KNOW what your going through and give support, advice,and encouragement.

You are not alone at all!! I know you can overcome this and live a freer happier life even if it doesn't feel like it right now! I never imagined I could be so happy and ocd free as I am now. I still struggle but not nearly as much as I once did. Its more background noise now! Sending hugs and lots of hope your way!

[Sedrik in reply to Ocdwarrior]

I thank you so much for your comment. I am passing thru hell in earth these times. I never thought that one day I could be like this. I miss my life before this craziness. I am losing people and things I love, I feel so down.I would appreciate it if you tell me for the group support online for ocd.

[Against_the_current]

Yeah, it's ocd. Are you on therapy like CBT or any meds like SSRI? Or other? Also this type of ocd is really typical for things that feel forbidden. Seeing you're balkan like me i understand. Here it feels so weird to talk about it that even thoughts because stressing and the Mind fixates on this stress. That's what i like in cbt and act therapy that says these are just thoughts, it's not real. But yes it's heavy.

[Sedrik in reply to Against_the_current]

I can not afford it a therapy right now, there are a few things I have to do before starting therapy.I hope I Will be able in the near future.

[Against_the_current in reply to Sedrik]

That's understandable. Therapy is too expensive and not quality enough and it requires a lot of work wich can lead to a relapse. Try CBT exercises, there are a lot free onces online

[Sedrik in reply to Against_the_current]

Thank u so much, can u send me a link please.

[Against_the_current in reply to Sedrik]

Of course. There are a lot of mindfulness and cbt exercises. Like grounding. Make sure to keep grounded. In the reality, not the thoughts positivepsychology.com/cbt-...

therapistaid.com/therapy-wo...

I think these are enough but If you think u need extra help ou can try the app CBT companion or other CBT apps. And If u want this a link to a cbt platform, you can have some free features like worksheets, just don't subscribe to anything.

online-therapy.com/?ref=261483

[G0ldenwr0ught]

Hi there!! This is my biggest theme too. I know that therapy isn’t very accessible, so some alternative options until you can get there are: Youtube channels specifically dedicated to OCD by OCD sufferers that will help you learn more and let you know that you’re not alone. This can delve into on reassurance, however- try not to rewatch the videos once you’ve already seen them. That’s OCD tricking you. My therapist also recommended for me a podcast called The OCD Stories. I haven’t listened to it yet, and since OCD is sticky, I will warn you that there is a good chance that other people’s thoughts and experiences will get stuck, and this may be more of an exposure than anything. Still, it’s extremely helpful to know you’re not alone.

Lastly, having a couple of people to rely on and creating a plan for when things start to feel hopeless are a good start. Mine includes changing my scenery, singing along to music and gripping an ice cube as tightly as I can. Just existing with the thoughts and anxiety is terrifying and will make you feel extremely guilty for not attempting to figure them out, but the more you indulge and believe them, the worse things will be in the long run. Grounding exercises and meditation are a great place to start and there are endless resources online that will teach you how to do them!!

I know how fast OCD can turn into hopelessness and doom, so if you don’t have a support system, it would be a good idea to save the number for a mental health or suicide hotline.

I hope some of this helps and that you get the support that you need !!