a strange thing happened to me on the way to old age. OCD

[joej]

Im a 50 year old plumber with about 30 yrs experience running all types of process pipe including gas pipe. the last couple years i've noticed my eyes. hearing ,physical strength , have declined. I should also add memory to that list. I've always been I would say very proud of my work.But whet I got my first smart phone with a camera I started videoing the work I did at the end of the day in case later when I got home I doubted myself whether or not I did something right or wrong .Now I cant stop and I am convinced if I don't film myself something bad will happen and it will be my fault. Its funny these thoughts would have never entered in when I was in my 20's 30's seems like the older I get the more perinoid I get. So a simple google search brought me here. Seems like a lot of good people here.

[Hidden]

I would like to welcome you to the OCD Support Network.

We are here to offer hope and give help.

We are in this together.

I hope you feel better.

[MothFir]

Welcome. That sounds like OCD, though you might want to be assessed by a therapist or take the Y-BOCS assessment:

iocdf.org/wp-content/upload...

I'm 46 but have had OCD for decades. It's taken various forms over the years, including the common handwashing/contamination theme, checking the stove and appliances, scrupulosity, and some "everyday" worries that I'm only now fully realizing were OCD. For one example, I do some part-time photography, and back in the days of film I used to worry constantly that I had screwed up important pictures. After taking the pictures but before getting them developed, I'd ruminate over and over on all the ways I might have messed up, trying to reassure myself that I hadn't (and of course everything usually turned out fine). That's similar to what you've found yourself doing.

If your obsessions/compulsions are causing you significant distress, you should consider therapy and/or medication. I've finally started ERP therapy recently and it's working for me. I've also learned to recognize some of my faulty thought processes and habits, and it's easier for me to recognize when I start to obsess about something (as opposed to just being rational and careful). The sooner I can do that, the easier it is to stop. ERP boils down to just preventing yourself from doing the compulsions (like filming your pipe work), and the more consistently you can do that, the more your "anxious brain" gets the idea that its messages of alarm are unneeded. Eventually they quiet down. Of course stopping compulsions is hard, but a good therapist can help you with methods and strategies to do that. I've also taken medication for about twenty years, and it takes some of the edge off.

If you talk to a doctor about OCD, be sure they are familiar with it. Some primary care doctors will just give you a sedative or something, when an SSRI (like Prozac) is what really might help quiet your obsessions without making you feel weird all the time. I've never had significant side effects with medication, but everybody's different.

And if you get a therapist, be sure they know how to treat OCD! There are many good ones, but I've heard horror stories of folks wasting years doing talk therapy or other approaches that really don't work for OCD.

Good luck and don't hesitate to get a little help for this. OCD is sneaky and can move into new areas of your life before you know it. I wish I'd learned some of these therapeutic techniques decades ago (but a lot of them didn't exist then...).

[MyOCD123]

Hey Joe!

OCD certainly does not discriminate. It affects people of all ages, races, and genders. I have had periods of time in my life where my OCD has lied dormant and other times where it reared its ugly head. Well I can't provide you with a diagnosis it certainly does sound like OCD. Your obsession being that you did something wrong and your compulsion being that you have to video tape your work. Ever noticed that even after you watch the video its still not enough? Engaging in compulsions only provides temporary relief and feeds the monster that is OCD so it can grow larger and larger. The more we give into these compulsions the more we are telling OCD that these obsessions and intrusive thoughts are valid when they are not. Your brain is firing emergency signals that there is danger when in reality there isn't. Often times those of us with OCD have a brain that is working overtime to protect us from absolutely nothing. I would highly suggest that you visit the IOCDF.org and their page of resources where you can find a therapist who specializes in OCD in your area. This is very important, as not just any therapist is able to help someone like you or me. It is important that we confront these uncomfortable feelings and learn to tolerate it until overtime until it becomes easier - which will happen if you stick with it! I would also recommend you research ERP, which is the only effective treatment for OCD. Any of the therapists on the IOCDF website will use this approach and that is because it truly works. There is also an author and therapist called Jon Hershfield who has some great workbooks you can get on Amazon. Hang in there and learn to embrace the uncertainty! Wishing you the best of luck and glad to have you in this community. I hope it helps you in the ways it has helped me.

[Carbon21]

Welcome, I agree there are many great people here. I hope you feel better.

[3BirdLover]

I like what MothFir had to say. I think the first thing is to get a good physical if you haven't had one lately. Because you mentioned some physical issues, it's important to be sure nothing medically is going on.

Have had OCD for 60 years....what you describe in the checking is very familiar. First the physical.

[Fargo-Guy]

I have started watching my kids on find my phone. Never did before I had the phone. Now I worry about where they go and what they do and can’t sleep till they are home. Why now am I worried? What can I do about 25 year olds and what they do? Ocd majesty it worse.

[Aleese]

Hi Joe-so sorry for the struggle you are going thru. It sounds definitely like OCD torment and DOUBT. Ocd causes us to doubt ourselves. And like you said, you were always proud of your work as a plumber. I’m not sure if you see a therapist as she/he could help you so much with this. By reading your post, it seems to me (just thinking outloud), If you were to not video all your work, maybe ocd wouldn’t have that tight grip on you to cause yourself to look for a mistake-to doubt your work....Also, the same thing with me as I got older ocd became alive in areas that didn’t always seem to be a struggle.

Ocd is tough but, there is a way out. One example: I used to have the hardest time writing a card for someone. I’d get it done but something wasn’t right so I’d rip it up until I ripped up many. Believe me...hours, days trying to write a silly card..,.painful: did I use the wrong word, oh no, maybe I’m lying and I don’t love them? what if that flower I drew looks weird (something like that). I know it’s torment. When I was in counseling, she had me do ERP & had me write the card, seal it up and send it. No looking back or getting it back to redue or fix etc....This is one example that I can look to what you are doing and to me it looks like you are letting ocd torment yourself by reviewing and then doubting etc..... Anyway, I hadn’t planned on this big note but, hope it helps you a little. And, if you haven’t been to an OCD therapist before, it would help you greatly. Seriously, I know✔️

Take care and the Best to you-😊

[ChristianWolff]

Welcome to the OCD community and the club of Older Gentlemen I had undiagnosed OCD and Asperger's all my life, but still managed to have a long, successful, and fulfilling career. Also had a long, unsuccessful, and not so fulfilling marriage. Both OCD and Asperger's intensified six years ago following nearly catastrophic heart surgery. Sought out and started treatment by a psychiatrist and then a therapist that continue today for the resulting PTSD. Those treatments and sessions over a couple of years resulted in clinical diagnosis's for both OCD and Asperger's. I had entertained the idea of returning to work on a part-time basis, but it became obvious that it would not be a wise thing to do, especially now that I have recently been diagnosed as being Bi-Polar to add to the mix of psychological issues. I am happy with my life and existence in the midst of the surrounding chaos. Wishing the same for you joej.

[LuckyGuy123]

Hi Joe,

I'm also 50 and have had OCD since 14, diagnosed and in treatment since 21.

What you are describing sounds like OCD to me. Sounds like you maybe have some fears about aging and decline? If so, me too!

One of the things you can do is to do something about what you are concerned about. Definitely see a medical doctor and get checked out. In addition, there are things in your power that you can do to fight aging. Exercise and watching your weight, making and maintaining social connections, science based supplementation, etc. etc. If you are interested in this, Google Rhonda Patrick or Peter Attia.

As far as feeling the need to record yourself, one of the best things you can do is the opposite of what the OCD is telling you to do and purposefully NOT record yourself.

This can be difficult and you may need an OCD therapist and ERP. Make sure that any therapist you engage is trained and specializes in OCD. This is critical as there are many practitioners who don't have a clue with respect to OCD. Also, there are medications that can help. But you should be evaluated first.

Good luck to you.