Long post update (tube feeding)

[Jstbcs]

Thank you for your replies, I am grateful for all of them!

I couldn't do this the right way.

On Friday afternoon I had to call the ambulance because she was having trouble breathing, she's in hospital now. I'm there with her as much as I can, but she was much better on Friday than she was today. A lot of fluid from she got went into her lungs yesterday, they tortured her with a tube trying to fix it and then gave her a diuretic. She got better, but by the time I had to leave for the night she was breathing noisily again, was given a diuretic again and they said she won't get any more fluids at night.

She suffers from the nasal tube, from lying down so much, mostly on her back (I helped her out into a wheelchair for hours every day at home as long as I could, even Friday for an hour), from me not being there from evening till morning. She can't move or communicate without me. I was told PEG would be the goal with my mom too, they were quite positive about it on Friday, but since then she has gotten weaker, I can barely communicate with her. But she hears me, understands me, nods or squeezes my hand (but sometimes I have to ask something several times). Sometimes I can even make out a few words. She has so much will to live, even though she hasn't been well for a very long time, but her body is strong yet weak.

I don't know what scares me more, that they will think she's ok for getting peg or that she doesn't.

I just don't want her to suffer anymore and I see less and less chance that she will be like she was a month ago, a week ago, or even on Friday.

Mynona

[FredaE]

I am so sorry for you both, Just by being there you are helping.

[Monkeyfeet1]

she is fortunate to have you! Thinking of you both. Thank goodness for sharing x

[Jstbcs in reply to Monkeyfeet1]

Thank you! I wish I could do more and knew the right way.

[Monkeyfeet1 in reply to Jstbcs]

You are doing your best and that is enough x

[Anovis]

Like others have said, you are doing the best you can with a very difficult situation. Do you have medical power of attorney? Does your Mom have a Health Care Directive or any other legal document that states her wishes? You can ask her medical team to remove the feeding tube and place her in Hospice so that the focus of care is pain management and comfort rather than prolonging life. You are her daughter and primary caregiver so your input matters even if you are not her medical power of attorney.

[Jstbcs in reply to Anovis]

Thank you for your message. I asked her and she wants the tube... She wants to live and try everything they can offer.