11 years no luck :(

[berrybee]

hi guys,

I'm new here and I've never been on a support group before. I and my partner (well meanly me) have been struggling with infertility for 11 years. after trying for a 1 year back in 2007 and having no joy we visited our doctors and was referred to a gynaecologist. long story short but I have PCOS and he as a very low sperm count and our only option is IVF which my partner is dead set against. I have dealt with this privately for 10 years only telling 2 friends (who don't really understand as they both have children), I have not spoken to my family about it and I'm now getting to the point now been nearly 36 that time is running out and its making me very depressed and feel I need support from people going through the same situation. I have started having other problems recently with irregular bleeding and bleeding after sex so I yesterday visited my gp who as again referred me to a gynaecologist and it's starting bringing back the feelings of need, grief and emptiness which my partner doesn't understand cos he doesn't really want kids and he would rather let me go, to find someone who will give me a child and make me happy. but been 35 and with my partner for 19 years that is not what I want. I just don't know what to do anymore. anyone going through the same thing or got any advice?

thanks all

[heather-moretolife]

Hi berrybee

Sorry to hear that you have no one to confide in that understands the grief and emptiness you are feeling. I am the More To Life Coordinator and would like to share how to access support. If you want to talk to someone about what you are going through we do have a confidential support line, open from 10am to 4pm on Mon, Wed and Fri, where you can talk to Diane, a former fertility nurse. The number is 0121 323 5025 or you can send an email to [e-mail] and she will get back to you.

MTL is for those that are no longer trying to have children, but trying to cope with the challenges that life without them brings. Within the More To Life section of the FNUK website, there are resources such as stories submitted by other people in similar situations who are facing life without children, book reviews and information about webinars we run. We also have a network of MTL volunteers that you can speak with on the phone, who are great listeners. To protect confidentiality please email [e-mail] if you would like me to set up some time with a volunteer. I do hope to hear from you.

[berrybee in reply to heather-moretolife]

Hi Heather

Thank you for your support and the advice you've given. I think the contact number will can in handy over the next couple of weeks. Especially if i get the news that I've started early menopause. Been on this group and reading other people's experience is helping and wish I'd have joined years ago. Thank you so much xx

[heather-moretolife in reply to berrybee]

We are glad to have you here. Please keep in touch. Some members just dip in and out when they need to remember that they are not alone and that others have faced similar circumstances, whilst other members are regular contributors and like to access our other support too. You can choose what is right for you at this moment.